Upward and Onward: Scott on Liverpool's Run of Form

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Absence is said to make the heart grow fonder and my brief absence from posting to this prestigious blog has found me smitten with how Liverpool are playing, that Blackburn black eye notwithstanding. Brendan Rodgers tinkered with formations and lineups to help the Reds emerge from their late 2014 downward spiral and now sees his charges conceding fewer goals, scoring more and, most importantly, winning. No losses so far in 2015 and, aside from the aforementioned FA Cup debacle at Anfield, they have played some of the best soccer in the EPL of late. Exhibit A was their comprehensive victory over a Manchester City side that was beginning to hit full stride with a healthy Sergio Aguero. One can only hope that Blackburn was a hiccup and this improving run of form can carry them to a Top Four finish.


Still, there are issues to resolve. For one, how does Rodgers rotate and rest players like Philippe Coutinho and Raheem Sterling, especially with the injury bug ravaging several key players like Steven Gerrard and Lucas Leiva? Getting bounced from the Europa League, after the sting passes, should actually be helpful to the long-term financial fitness of the club as fewer games and less travel bodes well for a strong finish and a coveted UCL place, with its monetary benefits.

In the meantime, the return of Daniel Sturridge, while undeniably giving the team a boost, has presented Rodgers with a new puzzle to solve - how to fit last year's 20 goal scorer back into the squad without upsetting the equilibrium so recently restored. Statistics have been put forth illustrating that Sturridge does best with a strike partner up top but the formation that righted the ship plays with only one. Decisions, decisions...

Stoking a Blazing Hearth: Scott on Liverpool

Scott is admiring Liverpool's form of late:

With that nail-biter of a victory over Spurs on Tuesday, I'm ready to say that Liverpool are firmly back on track and the team is starting to gel and acclimate to this season's formation and personnel changes. Yes, it all started happening far too late for a shot at the title (which was probably never a real possibility anyway) but a top 4 finish and another go in the Champions League is well within reach, present form continuing.

That Tuesday's victory was achieved without the services of Raheem Sterling is another plus. And that super-sub Mario Balotelli provided the tap-in winner is the icing on the cake, post-goal scowl notwithstanding.

Poor Finishing Finishes Liverpool: Manchester United 3 - Liverpool 0

David Dea Pictured Behind HisTrusty Defenders
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Our resident Liverpool correspondent, Scott, is going to have a hard time getting over this one: 

It was the stuff of nightmares.  You do so many things right but still lose, and emphatically at that.  When Liverpool visited Old Trafford they brought an attacking intention that had the home side pinned back at the beginning.  Even when things got a bit more even with the flow of the game, there were still large stretches when it was the visiting Reds who created the more and better chances.  Unfortunately, as with every recipe, when one ingredient is left out it can wreak havoc with the final result.  In this case, Liverpool left out the finishing, especially Raheem Sterling who was ubiquitous on the day but pathetic in terms of billowing the net.

Yes, Manchester United looked good at times and they are clearly a team in ascent as they cobble their newcomers into a functioning team, something Liverpool is still working on.  But on the balance of the game, I would say Liverpool were the better side.  They just couldn’t finish.  Of course, that was not United’s problem as Philippe Coutinho let Wayne Rooney trot right by him to slot home just seconds after Sterling used David De Gea for target practice for the first of many times.  Sure the Spaniard is big but the goal is a lot bigger and it’s not like he is magnetic (is he?).  Mata then scores a goal that should have been disallowed due to offsides (in fairness to the refs, it was really hard to see the brush of Robin Van Persie’s hair even in slow motion) and what should have been a 2-0 advantage to Liverpool was, instead, a frustrating reversed scoreline.

Getting in Gear: Liverpool 2 - Swansea City 1

Scott on the Capital One Cup and Not-So-Super Mario:

Well, after a dismal performance against Hull City last weekend, Liverpool looked largely lethargic in their Tuesday Capital One Cup game against Swansea. It was the Swans who looked most likely to advance, especially when they went ahead in the second half and, with only 11 min of regulation left, Brendan Rodgers replaced the ineffectual Rickie Lambert with the recently equally ineffectual Mario Balotelli. But within minutes the industrious Fabio Borini's pinpoint cross found Super Mario's lunging foot and breathed life into Liverpool's lungs. After a controversial red card, Swansea were without a key defender in injury time for a last gasp freekick, allowing Dejan Lovren to nod in after the Swansea 'keeper misjudged the cross. Lucky Liverpool seems to be a familiar refrain of late, and one that surely won't last. Get in gear Liverpool!

 

Surely the Reds have missed the injured Daniel Sturridge, his hereditary fragility apparently manifesting of late. But the squad has enough talent to compete against all but the very best teams even without their star striker. Rodgers must piece it together, become more creative in the final third and plug their defensive holes. 

 

A word on Balotelli. It seems the Italian would no doubt benefit from having a strike partner and this fan would like to see more setups with that in mind, even before Sturridge's return. And while he has not scored as often as we would like, aside from the dreadful, no-effort outing against QPR 2 weeks ago, Mario has worked decently hard and been a pretty good team player, with many of his teammates backing him to succeed. Yes, he has taken some ill-advised shots and needs to be mindful of his teammates with questioning hands in air after yet another low-percentage shot. And he has gone down very easily a few times and stayed down. But all in all, he is just a talented striker struggling to find form with a new team, shouldering nearly all the goalscoring burden, and resulting criticism.

 

Why Always Controversy?

Scott with some thoughts on Liverpool's weekend win:

This is starting to remind me of two seasons ago when it was always two steps forward then one or two back.  Liverpool played well enough to win against West Brom on Saturday but can they repeat that week in and week out?  Losing to “lesser” teams was beginning to define this season so let’s hope that has at least stopped.  In any case, 3 points were dearly needed and finally won, even if controversies continue.

 

For one thing, it is always troubling to see a penalty called when it is the incorrect call.  In this case, however, I’m willing to give Michael Oliver a pass.  Admittedly, this is probably easier to say given that Liverpool eventually won the game, but when a foul happens that close to the area at full speed, it can be difficult to adjudge the exact spot of the infraction.  And I thought the young referee did very well otherwise.

 

The larger “controversy” of course was the fact that Rickie Lambert started over Mario Balotelli.  ESPN’s Steve Nicol can claim that the move was just a natural rotation as Brendan Rodgers wanted to rest the Italian, but I’m not buying it.  If Balotelli were scoring goals, and maybe if he ever managed a facial expression that wasn’t a scowl, Rodgers would have had him starting that game.  How the Super Mario will react to the benching will tell a lot about how his tenure at Anfield will go.  Fortunately, upon entering the game in the second half, he was industrious and solid with his hold-up play and passing.  But, still, his shots weren’t particularly threatening.

 

Newser

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News and Notes from Around the World of Football:

o Newcastle fans like to have their day out -- although their idea of a fun time might be slightly different from yours and mine.  Ripping up the pitch, stealing balls and dropping trousers pre-game...?  And we thought that only happened in Correpsondent Ed's Geriatric League....

 

o Sir Alex thinks the pitch at Old Trafford is "dead?"  You should see the conditions they played in back in the days when Correspondent Scott was active....

 

o We have a couple of quick words of advice for all those slating Rio Ferdinand over his decision not to risk injury and disrupt his specialized training regimen to play against European minnows San Marino, but we can't print them in this family-oriented publication.  Where were all of these know-it-alls when the very same Ferdinand was left out of the squad that faced Brazil for "footballing reasons?"

 

Don't Let The Door Hit You On the Way Out

Photo by DrabikPany on Flickr

Question of the day: Do we care that Mario Balotelli is leaving Manchester City?  Putting aside our anti-Blues bias for the moment, the answer is still the same: Not really.  Balotelli hasn't been much of a factor in the League this year -- and that's being generous on our part -- and has repeatedly failed to live up to his much vaunted potential. 

Sure, he gave us highlights during his brief stint in England, including this and this, but he never seriously threatened to become the next coming of Cristiano Ronaldo, as he was originally billed.  And as good as he was -- which was quite good, at times --  Manchester City and most other clubs in the world have figured out  the following lesson: he's just not worth the aggravation.    

Flicker: Manchester United 3 - Manchester City 2

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Q. Any derby day surprises to the United starting lineup?

A. Quite unsurprisingly, yes: for beginners, how about Fergie starting his "backup" goalkeeper, David De Gea, less than a week after telling the British press that Anders Lindegaard had become his number one choice between the sticks....? Although many United fans likely saw though this managerial feint, there was a palpable sense of relief among the Twitterati when the young Spaniard's name was revealed as first choice. Other surprises included the selection of the recently injured Antonio Valencia and Tom Cleverley, and the fact that the starting eleven did not include a single surname spelled Scholes, Giggs or Fletcher. Onward and upward, as they say.

Q. How 'bout for the remaining quarter of Manchester?

A. We were a bit surprised to see a Sky Blue lineup that included Mario Balotelli at the expense of Carlos Tevez, but we were not as shocked to see David Silva experiencing the type of miracle cure usually reserved for those bathing at Lourdes. Tom Cruise revealing himself as a City fan pre-match seemed entirely appropriate, as well.

Q. How went the early going?

A. It was virtually all City to begin the game, as might be reasonably expected at Eastlands. That is, until the Wayne Rooney goal on about the quarter hour mark, which came against the run of play and on the Reds' very first effort on goal. The scuffed shot, none too pretty in and of itself, looked a real beauty in the eyes of United fans worldwide.

Q. Did City get right back up after the surprise counter?

A. It was actually United who seized the momentum and appeared to have the bit between their teeth. The Reds appeared determined to impose their will on the contest, a turnaround that became even more evident when Rooney capped off a sweeping move to double the visitors' advantage near the half hour mark, this time more emphatically finishing Rafael's picture perfect pull back.

Q. So, 45 minutes in, and 2-nil to the Reds. Your thoughts at the half?

A. We couldn't have been any happier after viewing the team's best half of the season. Showing great urgency both on and off the ball, the Reds played with ambition and determination, while the Blues looked the very picture of a toothless tiger. Roberto Mancini slowly twisted on the sideline as his team played the ball side to side, while Sir Alex looked as energized as his charges as he walked to the locker room. In addition to Rooney, standouts for this viewer included Ashley Young, as well as the entire United back line: the shape was good and the lads were disciplined.

Q. Any notable developments to begin the second half?

A. Yes: Jonny Evans was forced to limp off almost immediately after the second period began, and Mario Balotelli was handed his walking papers in favor of Carlos Tevez shortly thereafter. Somewhat less surprising was seeing Samir Nasri being booked for verbal abuse, his oral diarrhea finally raising the ire of referee Martin Atkinson -- the latter about to become central to the outcome.

Hanging by a Thread: Manchester City 2 - Ajax 2

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o The hot seat beginning to warm up, Roberto Mancini left little to chance, playing an attacking triangle that included Carlos Tevez, Sergio Aguero and Yaya Toure up front against the men from Amsterdam. Bearing in mind that his City side will play Spurs at home this weekend, the Italian likely gambled -- correctly or not, still to be determined -- that five days rest would be enough when playing their next game at home.

 

o Coming as it did against the run of play, the double deflection for the Ajax opener was likely not what Mancini envisioned in his pre-game planning. Nor was De Jong’s uncontested header that made the scorline 2-nil a short six minutes later. On defense City look disorganized, demoralized and generally out of sorts – the same way they’ve appeared for much of the Champions League this season.

 

o Yaya Toure’s fantastic takedown and sidewinding goal which cut the deficit to one showcased the Ivorian’s game in one flowing move: the brute strength of an NBA power forward, combined with the finesse and footwork of a petite midfielder.

 

o Mancini doubled down at halftime, replacing Javi Garica with Mario Balotelli. While the move paid off with initial pressure, the ultimate dividend Mancini was hoping for was not immediately apparent.

 

o Kun Aguero reminded us a bit of Evan Lysacek. Playing as if he had ice skates on, the Argentine hit the deck and slid repeatedly…. Just askin’, but shouldn’t a player know which boots to wear on his home pitch…?

 

o Not content to use only three of his strikers, Mancini took one last chance at the 65 minute mark to throw in a fourth with the addition of Edin Dzeko – although he took off Tevez in order to do so. But it wasn’t super sub Dzeko who evened the scoreline – as was often the case last year, it was none other than El Kun who pulled the Citizens back to level terms with just over 25 minutes to play.

 

o Even when moving forward, City looked less like a team than a collection of individual superstars. Each offensive move was less a flow from one player to another than it was a piece of individual brilliance.

 

o When the winner came, it came from an offside position – and was rightly denied. The resulting 2-2 draw succinctly summed up Manchester City’s season to date – there is no “I” in team -- and left the Citizens and their Manager right where they were when the game kicked off: hanging by a thread.

 

This is farlieonfootie for November 7.

A Great Advertisement: Week 9 in the BPL

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o We saw a great advertisement for the Championship this weekend. Unfortunately, it involved Aston Villa playing Norwich City in the Premier League.

o Can it be a coincidence that Mark Hughes' teams keep hitting the self destruct button with late game  red cards?  It's relatively easy to blame the ill-tempered players who commit the rash acts, but when it happens repeatedly it's a sign of poor discipline -- and that problem deserves to be laid squarely at the doorstep of the Manager.  Sorry, Sparky, but your time is up.

o Telling scene of the day: While Micah Richards was being attended to by a number of medical staff, given oxygen and being placed on a stretcher, teammates Mario Balotelli and Edin Dzeko felt the situation called for...a few quick jokes over on the sideline. Nice job, guys. I'm sure Micah your concern.

o Call him a diving cheat, and you'd be only half right. Luis Suarez' purposeful stamp on Sylvain Distin's Achilles heel shows exactly what type of player the Uruguayan is: a dirty, diving cheat.  Regardless, David Moyes is probably glad he's seen the last of the ugly Uruguayan for some time, and it's only reluctantly that we name Suarez our Player of the Week.

o What a wild ending for Fulham and Reading on Saturday; three goals in the final eight minutes will do that to you....  While he must have thought for certain that he scored a late winner, it was still great to see a smile back on Dimitar Berbatov's face as he handed his team the lead, an advantage they soon coughed back up. 

If Berba and Chicharito are smiling, it's a great week in English football.  This is a smiling farlieonfootie for October 31, wishing a Happy Halloween to all our friends.

The X Factor: Five Thoughts on Manchester City

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A recently received postcard from Correspondent Ed:

I wanted to write about Spurs this week, but...that West Bromwich Albion versus Manchester City game was just too good to ignore, so here's five thoughts instead:

1. Ben Foster's reckless decision to come out and attack a Carlos Tevez free kick was so bad that it honestly made me wonder if he had money on City.  West Brom had an easy 3 points against a City side down to ten men after a first half red to Milner, when Foster just plain choked. Even his execution was terrible. Uggh.

2. Turning to James Milner, he was caught trying to recover from yet another poor play by Vincent Kompany, who's terrible season continues. That said, Milner's decision was not noble, but terrible, as well. You've got enough great players to recover from a goal - which was anything but certain, by the way - and leaving your team a man down just seems crazy even though it worked out.

3. How about Edin Dzeko? The guy puts two in the back of the net in about 15 minutes of play -- remind me, why isn't he starting? Not unlike their cross-town rivals United, City is stacked up top with Tevez, Kun Aguero, Dzeko and Mario alotelli.

Separated at Birth: Week 7 in the BPL

o The most memorable moment from City's 3-0 thumping of Sunderland at home on Saturday?: Super Mario's long, slow walk to the tunnel after being withdrawn for Sergio Aguero at the game's 55 minute mark. With everyone else on the team celebrating an easy home victory, you know the question that's got to be foremost on Balotelli's mind: Why always me...?

o Chelsea looked about as comfortable as you can possibly appear against a Premier League aide while playing a hapless Norwich City at Stamford Bridge on Saturday.

o Who needs Daniel Day-Lewis when you have Eden Hazard? It's been bothering us for a few weeks now, but we finally figured it out: slap a stovepipe hat and an old, musty dark suit on him, and Eden Hazard could easily pass for the 16th President of the United States, Abraham Lincoln. 




Separated at Birth

o We meant to offer some pithy comments on Everton vs. Wigan, but we have to be honest with you: an Oktoberfest event came calling instead. You choose: Everyon against Wigan, or several big, cold daytime beers calling your name.... I thought so.

o Bogus Yellow Card of the week: Theo Walcott being cautioned for excessive celebration when he launched himself into the first row of the Arsenal supporters after putting the Gunners up 2-1 against West Ham. To which we say about the FA: You're a #BunchOfTwats.

o Three thoughts while watching Arsenal 3 - West Ham 1: 1) Andy Carroll looks rejuvenated -- Big Sam's system fits him to a T; 2) if Theo Walcott has emerged from his exile and can rediscover the rich vein of scoring form he hit last season, the sky is the limit as to just how good this Arsenal team can become -- they seemingly have a wealth of attacking options; and 3) once again, Santi Cazorla ran the show for the Gunners. Remember when David Villa was the hot Spanish import in the BPL? Yeah, well no longer.... Cazorla looked cutting and dangerous at all times on Saturday -- our only concern is that he also looks a bit like "that" type of player when playing teams that practice the traditional lumbering English style of football -- he may be able to cut apart the West Hams and Stokes of the world, but can he do it against one of the "big" teams...?

The Reign in Spain: Spain 4 - Italy 0

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Columnist Scott -- a veritable dynasty of the written word himself -- passes judgment on a Spain team that may go down as the world's best ever:

Vicente del Bosque has been alternately extolled and vilified by the media throughout the Euro  tournament which just concluded, but Spain's victory over Italy in the 2012 Final can't be interpreted as anything other than vindication for La Roja Furia's coach.  Attacking from the start despite that nontraditional formation that lacked a formal striker, the Spanish instantly placed the Azzuri on their heels and needed fewer than 15 minutes to go ahead.  Cesc Fabregas could have put it only one place for David Silva, which he skillfully did for the diminutive Manchester City playmaker to head home at full stride.

Silva's Manchester City teammate, Mario Balotelli, however, had his Super Mario cape confiscated in Kiev. A frustrating day for the mohawked phenom saw him limited mostly to pot shots from distance. Spain's back line, and Sergio Ramos in particular, deserve credit for personifying Mario's kryptonite as they consistently withstood and reciprocated the Italian's muscling style of play.

But the victory was not all Spain all the time. When Xavi put Jordi Alba thru to double the lead, Italy responded valiantly for 10 - 15 minutes as they sought to bring the game back into reach.   But then Spain re-asserted their dominance once more and mostly controlled from then on, showing frequent flairs of the type of football their critics had recently insisted they were lacking.

When Italy did threaten, Iker Casillas was more than up to the task, parrying away a couple hard shots and swatting away a pair of dangerous corners.

****

Coaching questions must be asked of Cesare Prandelli who inserted Giorgio Chiellini into the lineup despite the Juventus defender struggling with fitness and missing earlier games. While he may be the best Italy has, that is only true when he's 100 percent fit. Not surprisingly, Prandelli was made to pay when forced to substitute the fullback in the 21st minute as the injured hamstring tweaked again.

Tactics and coaching do matter. To wit, when Prandelli then subbed again in the 56th minute, it was his third and final instead of his second. That proved to be a fatal flaw when Thiago Motta went down to injury after only minutes on the pitch and the brave Azzuri were forced to play the balance of the game with only 10 men.

Pulling two goals back with 11 healthy players is a monstrous feat against the reigning world champions - it's impossible with only 10.  This axiom was proven when the stretched and tiring Italians conceded twice more in the final 10 minutes.

****

Unless: Italy 2 - Germany 1

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So, Germany had never beaten Italy, but as this column right here clearly told you, and in language that would be familiar to any student of economic bubbles worldwide, this time things were going to be different.  Sure, Germany had never -- not once -- beaten Italy in a major football tournament, but we all saw the raw power, the sheer athletic might of this current squad from Deutschland.  You couldn't help but notice it and be suitably impressed.  And who were these Italians that faced them, other than a less than potent version of their predecessors, a team without an effective striker, that had a tough time finding the net, a group that had won only one of its tournament games to date in 90 minutes, and only two years removed from the bunch that failed to qualify for the knockout round of the most recent World Cup...?  So this game had no chance of even being close, did it?

Unless.

Unless a certain Andrea Pirlo -- a 33 year old, six years removed from being the most valuable player at the 2006 World Cup, who has undoubtedly been the player of this year's Euro tournament -- is there to block a ball off the line in the game's first seven minutes, a ball that has already evaded a haplessly waving Gianluigi Buffon, that is headed into the back of the net to provide an early German lead and begin the rout.

Unless Italian striker Mario Balotelli could lose his marker and capitalize on a pinpoint accurate Antonio Cassano cross, nodding it past German 'keeper Manuel Neuer to give Italy a surprise 1-nil lead halfway through the first 45 minutes, a lead that would represent the inaugural German deficit of the entire Euro qualifying campaign and tournament.

Unless minutes later, Balotelli were to split the German center backs, and take dead aim at the opposition net, rocketing the ball past a shellshocked Neuer and creating a two goal advantage for the Italians, sowing havoc in the German defense and creating serious problems for the Teutonic game plan heading into the interval. 

Unless Gigi Buffon were to find a way to rewind the years and stretch every inch of his long, lean body to stop a laser-like Marco Reus free kick from slipping just under the bar and keep the Germans off the board and the shutout intact at the hour mark.

Unless the Italians could make the German midfield look more like England's midfield, negating such big-club superstars as Mezut Ozil, Sami Khedira and Bastian Schweinsteiger for a full 90 minutes, allowing the men from der Deutschland possession but not penetration, keeping the danger well at bay and looking nothing more than comfortable throughout the entire match.

Mood Ring: My Minute-by-Minute Account of Round 38 in the BPL

Photo by Half Alive -- Soo ZZZ on Flickr

10:00 am EST/3:00 pm BST   Ring Color: GOLD – UNSETTLED/ MIXED EMOTIONS

As Survival Sunday kicks off, I’m a bundle of emotions – Sad, because it’s the last day of the season; Upset, because it appears as if Manchester United have thrown away the title after being up by eight points with only six games left; and Nervous -- Could this be the day of another stunning comeback from the Champions, who can never be truly counted out?  Only time will tell.

10:10am EST / 3:10pm BST   Ring Color: BROWN – RESTLESS

Stealing a page out of his mentor’s playbook, Sparky appears to have ordered his troops to play “Park the Bus” today at the Etihad.  But can they do it for 90 minutes?  It looks highly doubtful.  Actually, to this point in the match, it looks highly doubtful that QPR can even string two passes together.

10:12am EST / 3:12pm BST   Ring Color: PINK – FEAR / UNCERTAIN

Jonathan Walters has scored for Stoke.  Crap!  Now QPR don’t even need a result today to stay up.  What little bit of hope was there to begin with has been cast aside.

10:14am EST / 3:14pm BST

West Brom have scored for the second time in four minutes, and Arsenal have thrown away a one goal cushion.  Could Spurs really finish third…?!  I might crack a beer and settle in for the long haul….  It’s not too early, is it?

10:20am EST / 3:20pm BST     Ring Color: RED – ENERGY / EXCITED / ADVENTUROUS

Wazza’s got United on the board with a header past Mignolet to give the Once and Future Champions a 1-nil lead at Sunderland.  It’s good news, got me a bit excited, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves.  There’s a lot of football still to be played.  And let’s not forget -- it’s QPR on the pitch at the Etihad.  I’m definitely cracking a beer, though.

10:25am EST / 3:25pm BST 

An easy giveaway by Sean Wright-Phillips, gifting the ball to Ya Ya Toure, followed by a near hand ball just outside the box.  Once again, Wright-Phillips is the donor. Is he literally trying to hand the title to City?

10:30am EST / 3:30pm BST   Ring Color: BROWN – RESTLESS

QPR appear to be growing into the game, although you know City will still create their chances.  To borrow a trite phrase, QPR are defending like lions, but they’re draining my mental energy.  Come to think of it, they’re draining my beer, too.  Better get another.

Lots of Questions, Very Few Answers

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1. Why is everyone seeming to blame Mario Balotelli for City's recent dip in form?  He may be a convenient scapegoat, but the Italian is also the Sky Blues' leading scorer since the New Year began.  There's plenty of blame to go around on the other side of Manchester, starting at the top, but it seems so easy just to point to Mario. The truth, unfortunately, is not nearly so neat.

2. Forget Dimitar Berbatov, what in the world has happened to Park Ji-Sung?  The South Korean used to be one of Fergie's favorites, and one would assume that Parks's terrier-like tenaciousness would suit United's need-for-speed lineup well (as much as it pains me to make dog analogies about South Korea's greatest footballing export).  Have we seen the last of Parky in a United kit?

3. Why hasn't King Kenny played Maxi Rodriguez and Craig Bellamy more often this season?  Reduced to bit players before midweek, the duo appear far more capable than many others that a mediocre Liverpool side has routinely trotted out onto the pitch.

4. And speaking of Liverpool, could their season get any more comedic?  I can't decide if their red kit was designed to symbolize the supporters' embarrasment, or the color of the cards collected by their goalkeepers.  One red card on Tuesday for Doni was hilarious; a yellow that should have been red for Brad Jones was beyond hysterical.  King Kenny can retire, his mission now complete: we're not laughing with you, Kenny, we're laughing at you.

5. Does the FA utilize any employees to make decisions, or do they just shake a Magic 8 Ball? I've written ad nauseum about the corruption and ineptitude that permeate this decrepit organization, but the Magic 8 ball is the only explanation that makes sense regarding the FA's simultaneous and mind-numbing decisions to uphold Shaun Derry's red card while not charging Mario Balotelli for a much more dangerous offense.

Crystal Clear: Round 32 in the BPL

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o Papiss Cisse grows more impressive by the week.  Audacious is the only word I can think of to describe the Senegalese striker's second goal on Friday, the one that sealed the points in the Magpies' comprehensive 2-nil victory over Swansea -- a result very few teams have achieved in Wales this season. The only person in a Newcastle uniform that wasn't clearly overjoyed when Cisse struck was his fellow countryman, who used to be a pretty key player for the Toon Army.

o Spurs and the early Saturday game just don't seem to mix, as Tottenham played its part in a dour nil-nil draw for the second time in three weeks.  Granted, Stamford Bridge and the Stadium of Light are difficult places to emerge from with points, but Spurs lacked any sense of a cutting edge this weekend, and it's becoming clear that Tottenham's away form -- unsuccessful in their last six in the road -- could cost them a Champions League berth.

o Mike Jones may as well have worn blue, so many questionable decisions did the Referee make in favor of the home side on Saturday.  Every single member of Wigan -- as well as all of the watching public, I suspect -- seemed to know that Branislav Ivanovic was offside for Chelsea's first goal on Saturday. Too bad neither Linesman Dave Bryan nor his boss Jones saw the play, although the correct call should have been clear as day.  The upshot was that Chelsea got another woefully offside goal at home -- the type of call the Blues always seem to get.

o Mind you, the team that Chelsea undeservedly beat is the same Wigan side that the Blues destroyed 8-0 at home on the last game of the 2010 season -- a result that shows you clearly just how far this Chelsea side has fallen.  And this team is in the semi-finals of the Champions League...?  I can't wait to see Barca play these guys....

o I've got to hand it to Referee Michael Oliver -- again. The youngest Ref in the Big Leagues had a clear view when he booked renowned Liverpool cheat Luis Suarez for simulation on Saturday. The yellow card was further proof that the League has had enough of the Uruguayan's diving antics, and I wouldn't be surprised to find out at the end of the season that New England Sports Ventures -- the owners of Liverpool -- have, as well -- this, despite Suarez's late goal which handed the home side (another) home draw against a team from the bottom half of the table.

o If you don't believe Manchester United get all the calls, all you needed to do was see Mario Balotelli's studs up challenge on Alex Song's knee that didn't even draw a yellow card -- let alone the red it so clearly deserved. Oh, wait -- Balotelli plays for the other team from Manchester, the one that never gets any calls in their favor.

Balotelli = Bad

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Columnist Ed is still grieving -- he's clearly in the denial phase right now:

o Mario Balotelli is a terrific player and a gifted athlete. But his attack on Scott Parker – a cleat to the head – was appalling.  This was not Bolotelli’s first dirty shot this year, and as a result he has been handed a four game suspension upon postgame review.  Such a suspension isn’t nearly enough.  Had Parker been someone who fouled him consistently throughout the game, perhaps there would have been some justification.  Or as Gary Neville put it, had it been someone like Gary Neville, it would be easier to understand.  But Balotelli had no reason to be angry at Parker, which suggest some minor sociopathy.  Balotelli’s agent is now stating that England isn’t being fair to him.  Clearly for the right price you can get always get someone to agree with you. 

o Despite the Balotelli incident, City v. Spurs game was among the most exciting of the season.  Both teams began nervously before exploding to life in the second half.  Good for Spurs to come back from two goals down, and good for Jermaine Defoe for finishing that first long ball with ease – I have seen many EPL players blow easier passes than that.  But losing like they did couldn’t be more devastating, especially in light of the fact that Balotelli should not have been in the game.  Let’s take Howard Webb’s explanation at his word – he missed it.  That said, ever since a poor World Cup game Webb’s performances have been poor and sometimes poorer.  He’s getting to the point where I think he’s still a ref because he looked like he’d be a good ref.  It’s time for Webb to shape up his game, and it’s time for more video tape reviews.

o The loss by Spurs was obviously devastating.  The only fiber of silver lining that can be pulled from the contest would be that Spurs ought to finally understand that they can be a top team.  Accepting this mentally is the first step to becoming a top team, though that got a lot tougher after that loss to City.

o I thought you weren’t allowed to slow down on penalty kicks.  Isn’t that a rule?  Isn’t that what Balotelli did.

o Don’t be fooled by the United win at Arsenal.  The Gunners are in full injury mode, yet that game could’ve gone either way and in the second half the Gunners had more chances.  United are still – still – relying on Paul Scholes and Ryan Giggs in the middle.  I suspect their confidence is somewhat hollow, and wouldn’t be shocked to see them get beat up by a random second tier team sometime soon.   

Deuce and the Hat: Round 22 in the BPL

photo by badjonni	via PhotoRee

Some questions and observations from all the latest action in the Barclay's Premier League:


o Chelsea captain John Terry said late last week that the Blues can still win the title. Win the title?  Is he joking...?  What title was he talking about?  The League's biggest underperformers....?!

o Chelsea's offense looks strangely impotent this season. They may have brought in Gary Cahill last week, but as bad as the Blues' defense has been, it's not their biggest problem.  Not only is Chelsea not scoring much, they're not even threatening goal.  The problems are myriad: there's never anyone in front of goal to receive a cross,  Sturridge and Torres shouldn't play together, Torres' confidence is shot -- excuse after excuse, and no goals to speak of....

o Our favorite chant of the Weekend came from the Norwich City fans to Fernando Torres: "What a waste of money." How true....

o What a turnaround for Fulham against Newcastle on Saturday....  Down a goal and seemingly completely out of the game at the interval, the Cottagers' comeback began with a debatable penalty, but only came into full fruition through the feet of a certain American forward.  When Clint Dempsey banged in his third goal of the day in the 89th minute to top off Fulham's five goal second half bonanza, Martin Jol was so happy he straightened his frown.  Needless to say, with his second three-goal-outburst in his last three contests, the Texan was the only player we seriously considered for our prestigious Player of the Week honors.

o It was unfortunate that Fox Soccer missed Dempsey's third goal, as the programming switched mid-game to the Premier Week Preview Show for several minutes before coming back to live action. Although goals by Americans in the BPL are becoming more common, hat tricks are so rare they have to be celebrated. 

o And speaking of Deuce, his scores on Saturday were the 50th, 51st and 52nd time the American has found the back of the net for Fulham. In combination with Landon Donovan at Everton, the two Americans are really enjoying their football this season, which leads me to a question: When was the last time two Americans were among the very best players on their respective BPL teams...?  I'd venture to say never. And although Fulham and Everton aren't exactly Man United and Arsenal, it's a start, boys and girls. It's a start.

Of Peter Pan and Supermodels: EPL Week Eight in Review

photo by Loren Javier	via PhotoRee

o Mario Balotelli's overhead kick aside, Manchester City looked a bit pedestrian in the first half without Kun Aguero and David Silva in the lineup against Villa on Saturday. Not that you couldn't say the same thing about Manchester United earlier in the same day, with Wayne Rooney, Nani and Chicharito on the bench. I guess these stars really do earn their paychecks...! City pulled it back around in the second half, and Aston Villa never looked as if they were in the contest after the break. The stage is now. set for quite the Manchester derby next weekend, but the  question is which Roberto Mancini-led team will show up: the cantennacio, defensive-minded one, or the more attack-minded side that has featured more often this season.....

o I'm beginning to think Baltotelli's hairdo is a stick-on strip  It changes much too often to be real.

o Owen Hargreaves limped onto the pitch for the Sky Blues on Saturday without pulling a muscle in the process. Will wonders never cease....?

o Alex McLeish had Villa looking in form on Saturday; or rather, that should be he had them looking in the same form that he had Birmingham City last season. Hope the Villans fans didn't get overly excited about their undefeated start.

o I thought I'd heard just about everything in an English accent, until I heard the commentator during the Chelsea - Everton game refer to the Blues' owner as Ro-MAN Ab-ra-MO-vitch.  I don't speak much Russian, but isn't that a case of putting the accent on the wrong syl-LA-ble?