|The Corporate Office, in the midst of another lavish redecorating scheme|
Photo by Romana Klee on Flickr
Heard around the office recently:
Ed: James...! [eyes widen] To what do we owe this great pleasure....?! [Expresses shock, slaps his knee while doubling over with laughter]
James: I'm back in town, Ed. [grimaces, folds arms in front of chest and leans on wall next to the water cooler] Spurs are struggling, and so are the Gators, but I can't keep hiding forever. My family needs me. [shakes head dejectedly].
Ed: I'll bet..! [rolls eyes].
James: Hey, here's some gallow humor you'll appreciate. I heard this on the radio yesterday: AV, no plan B. [looks at Ed hopefully for a sign of encouragement]
Ed: [picks up the thread of the conversation and runs with it in earnest] You know Spurs' biggest problem is Roberto Soldado doesn’t score, James. Worse, he isn’t even a threat to score. He can’t beat anyone with the ball, doesn’t head them in, doesn’t kick them in.... Frankly, I'm not sure what his strength is.... Van Persie doesn’t dribble by people, but when he gets the ball up front he puts it in the back of the net. Lewandowski's the same way.
James: While Soldado gets pretty much zero service with nary a cross from the two inverted wingers that AVnoplanB continually insists on playing, nor a through ball from our ineffectual number 10's caught in the middle of all that congestion, he is also inherently unsuited -- like Defoe -- to be a lone striker. That's what I really still don't understand about that acquisition. [scratches his head] The only one who is even theoretically suited for this system is...wait for it...wait for it.... Adebayor! Aaaarrrrrgghhh!!!!! [puts gun shaped finger to his head and pulls imaginary trigger]
Ed: [chuckles] I never watched Soldado in La Liga so I really don’t know what they did with him or what his strengths are.... But frankly I haven’t seen any strengths yet. [frowns and pauses] By the way, I think AVB agrees with you about Adebayor. Where’s that guy been, at the Russian affiliate?
Ed: [light goes off inside his head] Hold on a minute: Did you just use the word "nary"?