All Too Easy: Manchester United 4 - Newcastle United 0 -- Game Recapand Player Ratings

Juan Mata ran the show as Manchester United scored four goals for the second week running and cruised to a 4–0 victory over Newcastle United at St. James Park on Saturday afternoon. Mata scored two goals himself, and was complemented in his offensive efforts by the oft-ignored combination of Shinji Kagawa and Javier Hernandez. Overcoming a tedious first half in which Mata's stunning free kick was the solitary moment of sheer brilliance, the visitors scored three times from the run of play in the second half to turn a tight game into an all-too-easy victory over the struggling home side. 

Defensively, Anders Lindegaard did well to gain a shut out in his first League action of the season, denying Newcastle striker Papis Cisse on three separate occasions, and Phil Jones and Chris Smalling did just enough to keep Newcastle's other players off kilter despite a few shaky moments. The victory kept the Reds' small burst of momentum alive heading into the mid-week Champions League clash in Munich, although in retrospect the game will be viewed as relatively meaningless for both sides at this point in the season. Herewith the individual player ratings on a rare comfortable win:

Lindegaard: Did well to deny Cisse both before and after the break. 7.0

Valencia: Guilty of too many turnovers while playing out of position. 6.5

Jones: Needs to work on his distribution from the back, but generally a solid effort. 6.5

Smalling: Bedeviled by poor clearances. 6.5

Evra: Easily beaten, yet again. Rested near the hour mark. 6.0

Fletcher: Protected the back four well. 6.5

Fellaini: Most dirty players are loved by their own fans. Fellaini looks the odd exception. 5.0

Young: Decent crossing before being forced off after 15 minutes. N/A

Theatre of Nightmares: Newcastle United 1 - Manchester United 0 -- Game Recap and Player Ratings

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Wilt Chamberlin scored his 30,000th point in the NBA, Jack Nicklaus passed Gary Player as golf's all-time money leader, and and Hank Aaron signed a contract for $200,000 per season, becoming MLB's highest paid player in the process.  To put it in context, these were the sports headlines the last time Newcastle United traveled to Old Trafford and emerged victorious over 41 years ago.  So while David Moyes continued to make history on Saturday, it was history of the wrong type, as Manchester United fell at home to yet another long deprived side, Newcastle United this time the beneficiaries of the Red Devils' generosity, with the home side looking exceptionally ordinary and slow throughout the entire contest. Seemingly devoid of ideas, pace and passion, United suffered another inevitable defeat at the hands of a lone second half goal, with Yohan Cabaye's tally being all the visitors needed to emerge with three points.

Once again it was the middle of the park that looked confused and muddled, as the home side had plenty of possession but played with little incisiveness.  Attempting to redress the problem, Moyes called Wilfried Zaha, Anderson and Antonio Valencia off the bench to replace starters, but the situation failed to improve as the clock ticked toward full time.  It's unclear as to whether or not the latest dispiriting defeat meant Moyes has lost some of the dressing room, but clearly he has lost some of the sides' many fans, as a large number of the  attendees at Old Trafford streamed out of the stadium to an early exit: the late game magic seemingly gone for the moment at least, as is the level of fear opponents feel when coming to Old Trafford -- a theatre of Red nightmares this week.  

Herewith the individual player ratings after a game in which a discouraging sense of  defeatism seeped into the team's performance:

De Gea: Snoozefest until just prior to half, but was alert and equal to the danger. This is getting repetitive, but there was little he could have done on Cabaye's winner. 6.0

Rafael: Quiet game for the second time in a row. Never a threat going forward. 5.0

Evans: Little to do. 5.5

Vidic (C): The lack of cover in midfield left his lack of pace exposed. 5.0

Evra: Stormed forward on numerous occasions but also fell asleep and was beaten more than once. Again denied on a set piece, this time by the post and a Newcastle hand. Should have done much better against Sissoko on the play leading up to the winning goal. 4.5

Nani: Frustratingly inconsistent, and unwilling to dive into any challenges. The only thing consistent about his performance today was making the wrong decision -- every time. 4.5

Jones: Punishing performance in midfield.  The only player who seemed to care. 6.5

Cleverley: Was clearly challenged by the Manager to play more forward passes, yet faded in the second half and failed to establish any influence on the contest before being given an early hook. 5.0

Januzaj: Lively early, but all sizzle and no steak today. 5.5

Things That Sound Good But Aren't

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Like Ed's thoughts today, for starters:

I'm excited that Borussia Dortmund is in the Champions League finals. I've always enjoyed their attacking style of play, their talented midfielders, and of course Robert Lewandoski. I'm also a fan because I know they're not a big budget team like Manchester United -- just to throw out a name -- a team who last year bought one of their players and if rumors are correct tried to buy two. Bummer to be Shinji Kagawa at this point I guess.

I'm also pleased for Bayern Munich, not so much because I'm a fan, but more because they fought so hard for it and are (regardless of outcome) the best team in Europe this year. The way they pressed high but backed off once beaten, the way they played a physical man-to-man defense on Xavi and Iniesta, they way they countered fast with width -- none of this was that new, but I expect everyone to do it against against the diminutive Spaniards now that we know it works. Plus Bayern were probably unjustly robbed last year when they lost to an inferior Chelsea squad who played above their ability throughout the tournament. I also remember Bayern beating up Manchester City in the group stage. At the time I thought City was weaker than I thought; now I think it was Bayern that was tougher than I thought.

But yet, but yet, despite all of this I'm not that excited about the final. These two teams know each other very well and play each other often. Advantage Bayern, therefore, even though Dortmund has gotten the better of them in the past. Plus, it would seem this battle has already been decided in the Bundesliga (I could say that over and over even though I don't like watching it much) over a 38 game season. Playing it again, even if for a different trophy, just doesn't seem right.

* * *

Wow, was that really Barcelona that Bayern played the other night? I've never seen that team look so positively meek. Some time ago I wrote an article questioning whether it was personnel or tactics that made Barca so good. Well, Barca without Messi and several others looked so very ordinary, it would seem an argument in favor of personnel. That said, their coach missed much of the season, and the team also looked sloppy tactically or at least positionally. Either way, I'm still shocked that Bayern put them out of the tournament 7 to 0. They lost their will and their pride. And now Bayern has their old coach? Egads!

Newser

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News and Notes from Around the World of Football:

o Newcastle fans like to have their day out -- although their idea of a fun time might be slightly different from yours and mine.  Ripping up the pitch, stealing balls and dropping trousers pre-game...?  And we thought that only happened in Correpsondent Ed's Geriatric League....

 

o Sir Alex thinks the pitch at Old Trafford is "dead?"  You should see the conditions they played in back in the days when Correspondent Scott was active....

 

o We have a couple of quick words of advice for all those slating Rio Ferdinand over his decision not to risk injury and disrupt his specialized training regimen to play against European minnows San Marino, but we can't print them in this family-oriented publication.  Where were all of these know-it-alls when the very same Ferdinand was left out of the squad that faced Brazil for "footballing reasons?"

 

Thoughts from a Cup-filled Weekend: FA Cup Round Three

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Thoughts from a Cup-filled weekend:

o If you dropped in from outerspace, or were watching, say, from the United States, it may have been difficult to tell which was the top flight team when Newcastle fell to Gus Poyet's Brighton Hove and Albion on Saturday. Then again, if the Magpies keep up their current form, the two squads may be playing each other again next year -- twice -- in the Championship.

o Somehow the all-Premier League ties just don't carry the same type of "magic" as the David vs. Goliath contests.  No doubt West Ham vs. United was an excellent game -- how could you not admire Joe Cole's inspiring return to where his career began, and Robin Van Persie's artful catch and release in stoppage time -- but for our money we'd much rather be watching Liverpool vs Mansfield Town any day of the week, especially when the "bigger" team has to travel to the smaller side's ground.

o And speaking of Liverpool vs Mansfield Town, did you take a look at that pitch?  That's what this FA Cup thing is all about.  That pitch was pure goat patch, and Liverpool had to go in there and make the best of it.  Tiny Mansfield almost pulled off the upset of the round, but a helping hand from Liverpool's Uruguayan superstar was enough to see off the Stags and put the Reds through to the next round.

o Of all the parties involved in the latest Suarez brouhaha, however, it was ESPN which managed to embarass themselves the most -- quite a feat, this, given that both Luis Suarez and the Liverpool FC press office were involved.  After ESPN commentator Jon Champion  branded Suarez' latest piece of handiwork "illegal," "nefarious," and the "work of a cheat," the political correctness police pressured ESPN into disciplining their announcer for offering his forthright opinion on the matter.  Compounding their error, ESPN then went on to extol their right to free speech, as follows: 

"We take our responsibility to deliver the highest standards of coverage to our viewers," said an ESPN spokesman. "ESPN's editorial policy is for commentators to be unbiased and honest, to call things as they see them (italics added). Inevitably this can involve treading a fine line on occasion, especially in the heat of the moment."

o To which we say, we guess you can call 'em as you see 'em, as long as you're not being critical of Liverpool FC.  

Something to Behold: Rounds 20 & 21 in the BPL

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o Led by their wantaway striker Demba Ba, the Newcastle offense is something to behold: seven goals in its last three games, and against top opposition at that. The only unit currently more adept at putting the ball into the back of the net is whichever team happens to be playing the Magpies on any given day.

o Dimitar Berbatov looked like a chess Grand Master against West Brom on New Year's Day. Gesturing where he wanted the ball passed -- and not alway to him -- Berbs was thinking three to four moves ahead of anyone else on the pitch. And warping the time /space continuum, Bebatov seemed to float above the game, consistently popping up in the most unexpected places for a man who is reputed to move at very leisurely pace.

o Resting Ashley Cole, Ramires, Juan Mata and Eden Hazard at the same time may not have been the smartest decision by Rafa Benitez, but the real dope of Round 22 was Referee Lee Mason, who chose to flash only a yellow card at Chelsea's Marko Marin for his clear-as-day red card offense, which could easily have resulted in a broken leg for Stephen M'Bia.

o Player of the Week Javier Hernandez bagged a brace against Wigan on New Year's Day, but that's not what won him the Award -- or else his Flying Dutchman teammate would have been in contention, too. No, instead it was the Little Pea's superb movement off the ball and stunningly quick reaction time -- in which the mexican appears to speed up just as others slow down -- that gave Chicharito the honors and have made him one of the most lethal predators in the League today.

o The shirt message thing hit a new low when Edin Dzeko took a yellow card to display the latest words hidden under his kit. And for those of you wondering what's happened to City's offensive creativity this term, the answer, it seems, is written on the shirt. Last year was all about Super Mario's "Why Always Me?" display. But apparently the best a City striker could come up with this season was "Happy New Year...?!" We guess Dzeko's not the imaginative type.

Pulse Pounding: Six Thoughts on Manchester United 4 - Newcastle United 3

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o Gloomy: The day's weather matched yet another dismal opening by the home side. Cloudy, gray skies and a torrential downpour made for a slick pitch, but neither of these meteorological excesses were responsible for the day's first giveaway -- Michael Carrick's overly generous bit of charity, gifting the ball to Demba Ba in a very dangerous position. Carrick's error led to a further mistake by the defense, as United's Spanish 'keeper, David De Gea, parried the resulting shot directly into the path of an onrushing James Perch.  And so it was that we found ourselves in a familiar position: less than ten minutes in and United trailing at home.

o Missing: Missed passes in the final third continued to bedevil the home side. No one was guiltier of this than United veteran midfielder Ryan Giggs, but numerous Reds fell victim to attempting to thread the needle one too many times, hitting passes that lacked the required inch-perfect accuracy. The result was a paucity of opportunities for the home side, even as they attacked the famed Stretford End -- until the home side equalized near the half hour mark after a goal mouth scramble that came off Robin Van Persie's deflected free kick, with defender Jonny Evans conjuring something from little more than nothing.

o Cheat: Once again, Referee Mike Dean played a key role in the day's outcome. Ignoring the blatantly obvious fact that Papiss Cisse was two yards offside, as well as the fact that the Senegalese striker's very presence interfered with Evans' ability to play the ball, Dean placed himself at the center of yet another offside controversy at Old Trafford by allowing the Magpies second goal of the afternoon to stand as an Own Goal by Evans (his second strike of the afternoon). It was clearly familiar ground for the apparent Liverpool supporter in charge of the game, as Dean overruled his assistant to make the call -- something he notably neglected to do when Chelsea won the League at Old Trafford three seasons ago.

Wearing a Yankees Cap: Week 13 in the BPL

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o The West Brom run continues: Steve Clarke's boys comfortably dispatched Sunderland at the Stadium of Shite on Saturday, and after winning four in a row the question needs to be asked: is this a team that can challenge for a European spot this season?  Devoid of any true "big name" stars, the Baggies are succeeding by being a team in the truest sense of the word.

o One of the secrets to success in English football commentary appears to be screaming a player's surname every time he's about to shoot, hoping that you'll look like a genius for predicting a goal before the ball even ruffles the back of the net.  Although you'd think another lesson they'd teach at Announcing School these days would be that shouting "Torres!" when 'Nando's got the ball in the box is an utter waste of breath.

o It's a good thing Spanish is Rafa Benitez' first language, as Roman Abramovitch may now have a far easier time convincing the Blues' new boss that the Booing sounds which reverberated around Stamford Bridge as he walked onto the pitch are actually a particularly English form of affection.

o Chelsea and City played one of the more uninspired games of the recent Premier League era in their nil-nil draw on Sunday, a disjointed affair that featured zero goals and just about the same number of chances.  If we didn't know better we could easily have been convinced that this was a battle between two relegated teams marking time until the season's end -- there was little sign of passion or even the barest hint of a rivalry between the two clubs.  If this is the dawn of the Rafa era at Chelsea, Roman had better equip the seats at Stamford bridge with sleeping bags.

o Sighting of the week: The Drog.  At the Bridge.  In the rain.  With a Yankees Cap on, sitting in the stands.  What a difference a year makes....

And Speaking Of: Week 11 in the BPL

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o Could it be that Olivier Giroud is finally coming good?  We're happy to recognize when we need to eat our words, and we didn't think we would ever need to type the following, but the Frenchman has scored a bunch lately, both for club and country. Aberration, or a preview of things to come?

o 4 points for QPR after 11 games?  We've heard of patience, but the Rangers current situation is being ably assisted by borderline irresponsibility from owner Tony Fernandes.

o And speaking of QPR, how excited is everyone for Rangers vs Southampton next week?  We've got some laundry to do, so let us know how it turns out.

o Memo to AVB: The game is 90 minutes long. Not 75. Not 80. Not 85. 90. Please tell your team.

o Super Subs: The City of Manchester is holding a competition to determine the best substitute in world football -- Edin Dzeko or Player of the Week Javier Hernandez.  No matter who wins, their respective teams would be in a world of hurt without them.

o We've said this before on this page, but Ramires is an out and out thug with few redeeming qualities. King of the cheap shot, Chelsea fans need look no further than the Brazilian to figure out that the John Terry blow came from friendly fire, after Ramires intentionally pushed Luis Suarez in the back and straight into Terry's knee.

o Did Chelsea flatter to deceive early in the season, or are they just hitting a bad patch of form?  We think its the former, and the early schedule may have helped the Blues rack up more early points than they deserved.

Wingless: Manchester United 3 - Newcastle United 0

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Manchester United traveled to the northeast of England in search of vengeance for the 3-nil hiding the visitors received the last time they played yesterday's opponent at the venerable St. James Park. Sir Alex sought to stir the pot by returning David De Gea to goal against Newcastle United, and playing an extremely attacking lineup in front of him, one that featured exactly zero natural wingers but did include Robin Van Persie, Wayne Rooney, Danny Welbeck, Shinji Kagawa and Tom Cleverley. 

Contrary to the wish of many, however, the Scot stuck with Patrice Evra at right back, complementing him in defense with Rio Ferdinand, Jonny Evans and Rafael.  Michael Carrick once again lined up deeply to begin the game, attempting to control the tempo of the game and keep the United back four from being overrun by a marauding Geordie lineup that included the red hot Demba Ba, the newly rejuvenated Papis Cisse, Hatem Ben Arfa, Cheik Tiote and Yohan Cabaye, among others.

United began the game in penetrating form, but Danny Welbeck scuffed an early opportunity for the away side, while RVP's initial attempt was turned away by the Newcastle 'keeper Steve Harper.  Inside of eight minutes, though, Jonny Evans outleapt all other comers to turn a United corner kick into a deserved 1-nil lead.

Danny Welbeck generously contrived to miss a gift from Harper on a giveaway inside the box, the goal agape and RVP lurking dangerously alone in front of net, and the opportunity for a quick 2-nil lead went begging.  When Rooney was denied on a free kick, however, the disappointment was short-lived. Proving that he can score goals, as well, the beleaguered United Captain Patrice Evra doubled the visitors' lead on 15 minutes when he scored the afternoon's second goal by a defensive player.

Newcastle found their sea legs 20 minutes too late, urged on by the home crowd and turning the game into a contest at long last.  Challenges turned feisty as both teams got stuck in, the fouls and the play hot and heavy, and Referee Howard Webb was forced to go repeatedly to his pocket for a card matching the color of his bright yellow shirt.  By half time it was Newcastle giving as good as they were getting, and the Reds could hardly be comfortable despite the two goal advantage.

The Return: Manchester United 2 - Newcastle United 1

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It was a young and inexperienced Manchester United side that welcomed Newcastle to Old Trafford for the Capitol One Cup on Wednesday night, albeit one significantly buttressed by the return of forward and team talisman Wayne Rooney, as well as heavyweight Brazilian midfielder Anderson. For their part, the visitors featured a young side as well, one that included ex-United man Gabriel Obertan among others. On a night featuring several notable returns, however, none was more celebrated than Darren Fletcher's inclusion in the United starting lineup after a ten month absence for health reasons. And so it was in a rather spirited mood that the game's kick off was greeted despite the fair number of empty seats which oversaw the players on the pitch below.

If the game began in spirited style, once the action was underway things quickly became rather more subdued. Anderson had the home side's best opportunity in the contest's opening twenty minutes but somehow contrived to miss his opportunity, as if to remind the Old Trafford crowd that he was still in need of regular games to shake off any rust resulting from his long-term layoff. For their part, the visitors' first half attacking efforts were led by Shola Ameobi, with Alan Pardew's decision to omit both Demba Ba and Papiss Cisse from the starting lineup in advance of the weekend's League contest telling you all you really needed to know about the Magpies' true commitment to the League Cup.

Tom Cleverly should certainly have scored prior to the break after Javier Hernandez single-handedly carved his way through the Newcastle defense with a scything run, but the Englishman's shot fell inches wide of its intended target. If Cleverley's effort was close, Anderson did him one better just a few minutes later, curling his effort In between the Newcastle keeper's outstretched arm and the post to give the home side a deserved 1-nil advantage heading into the break.  Watching from the Directors' Box, Sir Alex would have been pleased not only with his team's lead, but even more so with the tempo control that his midfield trio of Fletcher, Anderson and Cleverley managed to impose on the evening's affair.

Letting it Flow: Week Five in the Barclay's Premier League

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o Two things we learned while watching Everton tear Swansea apart limb-by-limb on Saturday: 1) The bloom may be off the rose for Manager Michael Laudrup and his boys from Wales -- the Swans' second loss in a row has seriously stalled their momentum and called into question just how strong the squad actually is; and 2) No such questions are being asked of David Moyes and Everton. Liverpool's top club looked fantastic once again this season at the Liberty Stadium, and only poor refereeing has managed to stop the Toffees from reaching 12 points after their first five games. So much for Everton's traditional slow start....

o Chelsea appear to be morphing into a La Liga side before our very eyes. Pretty to the eye -- except if you're Roman Abramovich, who appeared as if he was watching paint dry from his customary seat at Stamford Bridge -- but lacking a certain directness that is a hallmark of the English game, Chelsea step-overed and back-heeled it with best of them on Saturday but were less successful at finding goal -- only second half substitute Victor Moses seemed the least bit intent on blazing a path toward net for the Blues. On a bright note, however, along with their slim 1-nil victory over Stoke, Chelsea appear to have mastered the art of the Spanish flop, with Branislav Ivanovich and Oscar displaying perfect form in their attempts to con the referee.

o Note to future opponents: please make certain to mark Javi Garcia on set plays. I've lost count of the number of headers the City newcomer has managed to put on-target over the past three outings, and he just may be the most dangerous set piece player in the game right now.

o Like the turning of the leaves, one true sign of the nascent fall season was spotted this weekend as Le Professor broke out the sideline puffer jacket for the Gooners' game at Eastlands on Sunday. If only his counterpart Roberto Mancini had deemed the weather cool enough for his natty blue and white scarf, we could have officially declared the new season to be in full swing.

o Kudos to American Clint Dempsey for his first start in front of the home fans at Whitehart Lane on Sunday. Our view was that the midfielder looked energetic and dangerous against QPR, but may have been trying just a bit too hard to find the net. Here's some advice, Clint: relax and let it flow. The goals will come.

o While we appreciate that Hatem Ben Arfa and the rest of the boys at Newcastle were attempting to restore Papiss Cisse's confidence by letting him take a penalty at home against Norwich City on Sunday, man oh man, we wonder how far the resulting miss may have set back the Senegalese striker. While Cisse may have made the Geordies wonder if his fellow countryman Demba Ba was expendable with his form in the latter half of last season, the shoe is now firmly on the other foot. And that's the same foot that brought about a moonshot of a penalty that should be passing by the International Space Station any day now....

Thoughts on the Barclay's Premier League Season To Date

Columnist Randy Likes a Close Up View of the Action
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What with all the excitement of the famed FIFA international break, we practically had to chain ourselves to our desk (that's right, we all share one desk here at Corporate) to hammer out the following piece.  Herewith, our semi-lucid thoughts on what's happened so far in the World's Most Exciting LeagueTM:

o Yaya Toure May Be the Most Influential Player in the League: It's no longer a certain diminutive Spaniard who drives the City bus, but a rock hard Ivorian who has become the new measuring stick by which all BPL midfielders are judged.  Although he's eminently capable of just sitting back on the pitch to break up opposition play and transition the ball toward City's offensive movement, it's when Roberto Mancini allows Toure the freedom to roam forward that opponents really begin to fret.  Toure's already bagged two goals in the team's first three games, and has left the rest of the BPL asking only one question: How do you solve a problem like a Yaya...?

o Liverpool's Not as Bad as Their Record Would Indicate: We're going out on a bit of a limb here, but we don't believe the reds will finish the season in the 18th position in the League table that they currently occupy.  17th place possibly, but definitely not 18th.  In all seriousness, though, Liverpool is clearly in a transitional phase, and undergoing a rather strenuous adjustment to Coach Brendan Rodgers' new tactics and schemes.  They'll gradually get there, and we see it as a substantial postive that the new man has decided to bite off the many problems King Kenny saddled the club with in last year's transfer market -- which clearly serves to show that management has learned a bit of collective folk wisdom from the Deep South: "If you've got to eat a turd, don't nibble at it."  The bet here is that Liverpool is only a striker away from challenging for a Europa League spot, and a couple of additional players away from being back in contention for the big time.

o AVB Had Better Start Winning.  And Soon:  He's won only three of his last 15 BPL games as a Manager, and although we believe that both he and Spurs will come good eventually, there's a significant caveat to our thinking: if the Portuguese version of Inspector Gadget doesn't pick up the pace soon -- and by soon, we mean very soon -- his second visit to London may be no more pleasant than his first.  The press love a good villain, and despite his boyish good looks (according to Columnist Ed, who has a bobble-head AVB doll firmly ensconced on his desk) Villas-Boas has already been given all the rope he'll need to hang himself.  Let's hope it doesn't come to that.

Standup Comedy: Round 37 in the BPL

o So where are all the critics hounding Wojciech Sczcesny?  Impersonating his teammate Lukasz Flappy Handski, the Pole was entirely unconvincing against Norwich on Saturday, waving wildly at the first ball into his box and then kindly showing the second the quickest route to goal, much like a crossing guard making sure his charges make their way safely to the other side of the street. The southern dominated media in England were only too happy to hop on David De Gea for the slightest mistake, yet they continue to extol the virtues of the young Arsenal 'keeper. Can you say 'double standard?'

o Referee Anthony Taylor must be a huge fan of the World Wrestling Federation, as he saw nothing wrong when Laurent Koscielny took down Norwich defender Russell Martin in the box like he was in a no holds barred cage match. Meantime, fourth official Lee Probert laughed hysterically on the sideline, treating Paul Lambert's protest as if he was watching the latest routine from standup comedian Jerry Seinfeld.

o No worries, Taylor made it up to Norwich in the second half. Continuing a completely forgettable 90 minutes in charge, the referee somehow also overlooked Kyle Naughton's mugging of Super-Goon Robin Van Persie as time momentarily ran down on Arsenal's grip on third place. Memo to Taylor: evening out your missed calls does not mean you had a good game.

o Sign o' the Times: For the first time this season, I didn't watch the United game live when I had the opportunity to do so. Instead, I watched the Manchester City vs. Newcastle game on tape (I had missed the live broadcast due to a family obligation), such were the season-defining ramifications of the Toonside contest.

o As it was, the title could end up swinging on the width of Gael Clichy's foot. The former Arsenal man came up with a huge block when Newcastle's best opportunity fell in the box to Demba Ba late in first half. If only the ball had fallen to the Demba Ba who played for Newcastle from August through January rather than the significantly paler imitation of the striker who has worn the number ten shirt for the Magpies for the last four months.

o On the other hand, you've goth to hand it to Roberto Mancini. His team was well prepared for their encounter at Newcastle, didn't panic, and played the kind of defense that never allowed Newcastle -- the in-form team in the League -- any clean cut opportunities in front of goal -- virtually the second week in a row that the City defense held their opponents to nothing. And all this occurred at the home of a side which could have moved into a Champions League spot had they won, a team which featured Papiss Cisse, Hatem Ben Arfa, and Yohan Cabaye, and a side which had only lost only one time in their last eight matches - no easy feat that.

o And who more fitting to take the winning opportunity than Player of the Week Ya Ya Toure. The heart and soul of the City engine room, the big man pushed on for City all season long, popping up time and again at key moments for the Sky Blues and seemingly singlehandedly willing them to victory on more than one occasion. All arms and legs akimbo when he runs, the game changed when Toure moved further forward for City after the hour mark. It's likely no coincidence that Toure is also one of the few battle tested men on the City squad -- having previously won a La Liga title at Barcelona.

The Zombie Hunters: Round 36 in the BPL

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o It was a weekend of big scores and clarifying futures.  Newcastle, Fulham and QPR got crushed, and Blackburn basically threw in the towel on their relegation fight at the Lane, handing in a meekly comfortable 2-0 loss for their weekly effort.  QPR and Bolton fans are feeling the heat, and Aston Villa fans aren't feeling very comfortable, either.  But the big game of the weekend is being played today, and because of that we're going to delay handing out the Player of the Week award.  If one player comes up big on Monday, the title race could be over and done: more and more, it's looking like Winner Take All.

o Luis Suarez and Fernando Torres both turned in hat tricks, and Kevin Davies added a brace to his season total.  The Zombie hunters are on red alert with so many notorious strikers coming back from the dead and buried.

o What in the hell is going on in Wigan?  And where were these guys earlier in the season??  Wigan looked like the English Barcelona after shredding the Newcastle back line repeatedly in the Saturday contest on their way to a four goal victory.  Playing with only three defensive backs and two wing backs to bomb forward and flood midfield, the rugby townies taught the Toon Army a footballing lesson on Saturday.

o The importance of today's Manchester derby can't be understated. For all those United fans buoyed by the knowledge that City still has to travel to Newcastle next weekend, realize this: the Magpies will be playing their third game in eight days by the time that fixture is contested, and could be coming off two road losses in a row -- not exactly a huge confidence booster.

o Apparently you can handball it as much as you want if Mark Clattenburg is in charge of the game.  Denying West Brom a stone wall penalty and Villa more two other penalty shouts of their own, the man in the middle of Saturday's gamedid his fair share in contributing to yet another 0-0 draw for Villa. It's a point, but that still may not be enough for the Villans to escape the wicked grasp of relegation.

o By the way, if the final few minutes of the Villa - West Brom game were any indication of what were going to see these final few weeks as teams attempt to avoid being relegated, we're in for a real treat this season.

o Chant of the Weekend: "Let's All Do the Wenger," from the loud and rowdy Stoke City crowd located right behind the Arsenal Manager, as a highly agitated Professor was unsuccessful in his attempt to conjure up a winning goal from the sideline of Saturday's 1-1 draw at the Britannia.

o Gotta love the Chelsea fans: booing Anton Ferdinand for being a victim of racial abuse, before proudly applauding Ferdinand's abuser as he scored the game's second goal on Sunday. Pure class, all the way around.  Chelsea and Terry: They deserve each other.

Holy Newcastle!

Why Can't We All Just Get Along?:
Columnist Ed Watching Footie with Two of His Closest Friends

Columnist Ed on all the latest happenings in the BPL:

o Well, not exactly holy, but just when you’re ready to anoint Harry Redknapp as the manager of the English team and Brendan Rodgers of Swansea as the EPL coach of the year, you get Newcastle on the cusp of Champions League qualification with Alan Pardew.  There have been times when the Magpies have looked like absolute junk – the 5-0 beating they took at Spurs comes to mind – but they’ve just won five in a row during this key time in the season.  Can they pull it off?

o Well, it really depends more on whether Spurs are truly imploding or whether they can get it together against the bottom of the League in the last five weeks.   By my count, Spurs have to win at least three and tie one of their last five.  Theoretically . . . . I think that’s worth saying again for emphasis . . . . theoretically this shouldn’t be that tough, in light of the fact that they have to play QPR, Blackburn, Bolton, Villa, and then Fulham.  In their current form with no central defenders and Gareth Bale currently abdicating his position in favor of a crowded central attacking midfielder role, this doesn’t seem easy.  But if there’s one thing that’s a certainty in the BPL, it’s that no one can predict what will happen next.  I recall United being dead and buried after being blown out by City; I also recall people wondering if Wenger had a future at Arsenal.  In short, who knows really?  Certainly not the experts.

o But tracking back to Newcastle – what impresses me most is Pardew’s ability to simply insert any striker he finds fit and for that person to become a star.  Think about it, a year and a half ago it was Carroll, then it was Ba this year, and now it’s Cisse.  I think even the withered old bossman might be able to put a few in if he played the position at . . . . wait, sorry about that, I took it too far.  But I think you know my point.

o But here’s what I wish for most:  In this year of the unknown, it would be nice to see a second-tier team like Spurs or a third-tier team like Newcastle [Ed. Note: Columnist Ed's term, not mine -- let the abuse begin below] make the top four instead of the big money teams that everyone knows are going to be in the top four.  In other words, as much as Chelsea represents England well in Europe, I’d prefer they get bumped this year for a change and someone else given a chance.  I mean, wouldn’t that be fun?

o Speaking of teams that have been kind enough to give the rest of the table a chance, how about that eighth place Liverpool squad?  I was desperate enough to watch a bit of their game against Blackburn (painful), and wow, they put in their entire second team.  So in case you were still wondering, and you shouldn’t be, Liverpool has abandoned League play and doesn’t care at all where they end up in the BPL this year.  One wonders about their future.  Is Liverpool a place where talented players come to die, or is it that the players that Dalglish brought in are simply awful?  Hard to say, but I would suggest that IF there is a team more in need of that arrogant, petulant, childish, master named Jose Mourinho, I can't think of it. 

Inside Newcastle United: Crazy Cisse

photo by Darin Barry	via PhotoRee

Our famous 11 year old columnist, Connor, returns to these pages after a brief absence, with his thoughts and observations on Newcastle's 2-nil humiliation of Liverpool from last Sunday:

Newcastle came into the game off a two game winning streak. Papiss Cisse was at his best, scoring twice, once before the break and once after, bringing the Magpies to a two-nil victory over the Reds.



Both of Cisse's goals required top-notch athleticism. The goal in the 19th minute was a beautiful cross by Hatem Ben Arfa, but even a better header by the Senegalese forward to put them up before the break. Cisse did not stop putting pressure on the Red’s defense; not even five minutes into the second half he barely missed the right post.

After an hour played, Cisse found the net again. Hatem Ben Arfa assisted on the score again with a picture perfect pass to Cisse, who put away the close range shot. The goal made Alan Pardew do some thinking and finally he put in some more defenders to secure the lead.

Cards Galore: Newcastle 1- Sunderland 1

photo by hlkljgk	via PhotoRee

Our 11 year old Columnist Connor returns, putting all our other writers to shame:

Inside Newcastle United

Established…………………….. 1892
Manager………………………... Alan Pardew
Nickname…..…………………... The Magpies
Stadium…….…………………... Sports Direct Arena
English Premier League Titles.. 0
Position…………………………. 6th

                                               
Wow! What a game! I don't know how many of you watched the Newcastle v. Sunderland match that aired on Fox Soccer this past weekend, but I did -- and what a game I saw. Right away, the game started off violently, as only 37 seconds into the match, Sunderland player Lee Cattermole got himself a yellow for a sharp tackle on Newcastle's Cheick Tiote. That would be one of 11 cards that were to be handed out at the Sports Direct Arena, on a crisp Sunday afternoon match chock full o' fouls.

In fact, five of the eleven Newcastle starters were handed a yellow. Those included Tiote, Demba Ba and the list goes on and on. Newcastle has had a card problem this year, and their agression really did show on Sunday. Actually, a yellow in the 24th minute by Mike Williamson happened in the box. And, as we all know when it happens in the box, the other team is awarded a Penalty Kick: even the fantastic Tim Krul could not stop Nicklas Bendtner and his powerful right foot!  

Inside Newcastle United

Sometimes in life you get lucky....  While on vacation in the Bahamas recently, I ran into an 11 year old footballing genius on a deserted island.  Herewith, the first column from a boy who will be a legend someday -- Columnist Connor on Newcastle United:

Inside Newcastle United

Established…………………….. 1892

Manager……………………….. Alan Pardew

Nickname…..…………………..  The Magpies

Stadium…….…………………..   Sports Direct Arena

English Premier League Titles… 0

Position………………………… 6^th

Coming into Saturday’s game against Wolves, the Magpies were sixth in the EPL. The last time the Magpies met Wolves, it went our way with a 2-1 victory back on October 1^st.

50, 671 people attended that game, and, well, they saw a pretty spectacular contest. First half goals from Demba Ba (17^th minute) and Jonas Gutierrez (38^th minute) started the game off with triumph. Though, in the 88^th minute the stellar Magpie defense got a little lazy and let Steven Fletcher score a goal.

Newcastle, who had a fourth round exit at this year’s Carling Cup (which Liverpool just won), is in a position to make a late run. If they make that late run they would be gunning for the Europa League bid the EPL has to offer. Saturday’s game against Wolverhampton, though, did not help the cause, as it ended in a  2-2 draw. 

It started in the 6^th minute when Papiss Cisse (who had his Newcastle debut on February 5^th against Aston Villa) sent home a rocket. And only 12 minutes later Jonas Gutierrez scored, putting the Wolves upset chance down.

As the teams went to the break Magpie fans began to celebrate victory, but Matt Jarvis and Kevin Doyle from Wolves had other plans. They both sent in goals in the opening minutes of the second half. With the equalizer given, Newcastle Manager Alan Pardew made some substitutions. Striker Shola Ameobi came on in the 80^th minute for Chiek Tiote, after Danny Guthrie came in for Ryan Taylor.

The Wrong Way Forward: Newcastle 3 - Manchester United 0

photo by opensourceway	via PhotoRee

Manchester United traveled to the North East of England and the stadium formerly known as St. James Park on Wednesday, to meet Newcastle in a game that many called a "must-win" in order for the Reds to keep pace with City at the top of the League table.  With Tottenham nipping at their heels from the other side, several United players spoke openly pre-game about how important it would be to get a result in the mid-week contest.  Instead, the Reds left Newcastle with their tail between their legs, well beaten and cursing their fate.  What follows are thoughts and observations on the critical 3-0 Tyneside loss :

o Newcastle is a club that will be badly hurt by the African Cup of Nations.  Not only is leading scorer Demba Ba heading off at the weekend, so too is Cheik Tiote, a key driver of the Magpies' defensive midfield. Some clubs -- the Reds included -- could withstand the loss of two starters without missing much, but for a club like Newcastle to lose arguably their two most valuable players at the same time could be a real problem. Ba looked absolutely lethal last night, and his first half tally was a striker's goal of the highest order; on the flip side of the ball, Tiote hassled and harried United into too many turnovers to recount.  It's unfortunate that United had to play Newcastle this week and not next, but that's how the schedule works.

o Fergie has no sentimentality -- none. Witness the current United striker situation: at the beginning of the season, Danny Welbeck was paired with Wayne Rooney to lead the line, in part because of Welbeck's form, and in part because of the injury Chicharito picked up during the US pre-season tour. Later, when Welbeck went down with an injury, it was the young Mexican who was preferred as Rooney's strike partner, while Dimitar Berbatov continued to languish on the bench.  But due to the Bulgarian's form over the past month -- with 6 goals in his last 4 games -- it was Berba who was handed the start again last night, while Chicharito now seems slotted in as fourth choice.  Never one to rely on history as his guide, Sir Alex is all about "What have you done for me lately...?"

o And despite all that, my guess is Sir Alex left the game last night wondering exactly who his best two strikers are at the current moment. Berbatov was largely ineffective -- to be fair, he didn't get much in the way of quality service -- necessitating the introduction of Welbeck. And when that wasn't deemed sufficient, Sir Alex also threw Chicharito into the mix. But with none of the four strikers finding the net, just who has the hot hand going into the City game?

o The penalty call on Rio in the home fixture may have been evened out by referee Howard Webb's non-call in the first half last night.  At the very least, Ferdinand's challenge which sent Demba Ba sprawling in the box was significantly clumsier than the challenge for which he was penalized at Old Trafford.  Alan Pardew was so incensed by the decision (and another non-call by Webb which followed) that he resembled someone Howard Webb would lock up in his day job more than he did the coach of Newcastle.