Strike Force!

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In which Correspondent Ed drops in for a brief spell and imparts his pearls of wisdom on us:

Let me tell you something: it's not easy handing the boss-man a pricey beer at yet another staff party, thrown (as he would like us to believe) in his honor, when deep down your seething at his joy at watching yet another League title go to United, which in no small part was due to favorable refereeing like that we all saw this weekend against Reading.  Well, the rich get richer I suppose.  But other than two-handed shoves in the penalty area that are ignored, why exactly is United on top?

After seeing Spurs drop three in a row, the first against Liverpool after some ghastly mistakes, but this weekend against a pretty pathetic Fulham team, the answer seems pretty clear.  United is pretty much stacked with top class Strikers, to wit:  RVP, Rooney, Chicharito, Welbeck -- four players that could start on any team.  The rest of the squad is solid, but frankly lacking at some positions, particularly midfield and right back.  But United's strikers score like crazy, helping the team rack up 69 goals versus second best Chelsea at 58. 

In fact, if you look at the top of the table, it's almost a direct correlation between position and number of top strikers on the squad.  Man City has Aguero, Tevez, Dzeko and is in second.  Chelsea has Torres and now Ba, and has crawled back to third.  Spurs have Bale (he's the number 10 now, like it or not), a top European player, but that's it, so fourth.  Arsenal has Walcott (part time striker) and, maybe, Giroud, so fifth.  And Liverpool's resurgence -- the addition of Sturridge and a surging Suarez -- sixth.

Is it that simple in the EPL?  Is it just about assembling the best strikers to win?  Can you literally fill in the rest of the team with guys who are simply good enough?  Would Chelsea, for example, be in first place if you swapped Torres and Ba with United's four?  Well . . . . . what do you think?

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On a similar note, we've seen Spurs drop three in a row, and even the amusing writers at www.cartilagefreecaptain.com have now jumped to the conclusion that the reason is Bale is not on the left where he should be, like Ronaldo.  This followed an article about Parker being incompatible with Dembele unlike Sandro, who was just perfect.  I will admit that Bale is neither a traditional number 10 nor a particularly effective number 10 because he is not a distributor but more a player that can run at defenders, beat them, and score.  I also think that part of the reason he is put up top is because Spurs play him where he wants to play in an effort to keep him.  That said, he may be better as a straight number 9 (which he's kind of playing by default), and it may not be a terrible idea to put him there with Gylfi or Holtby behind him and the other at left back. 

But these musings are beside the point.  The problem with Spurs is and has always been their paucity at Striker.  I am a big Defoe fan, but he's run a bit cold lately and has found himself making or getting chances but putting them right at the keeper.  Adebayor has been a complete waste of time up front, never finding himself in the right place and always appearing to loaf without care.  One wonders if he is only able to summon the will to try when he's in a contract year.  Regardless, Spurs strikers don't score enough, and Spurs are completely reliant on their new number 10 putting it in.  This can win you games, but it's not going to be easy holding on to a top four position.  Arsenal, despite all the wailings of its fan base, is only four points behind and has both scored more and conceded fewer than Spurs.  Hopefully this Spurs team can put these losses behind them and rally for the last eight games.

Heartbreaker: Manchester United 1 - Tottenham Hotspur 1

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Spurs steal a point at the final whistle, as a determined United defense was finally breached.  Here's how a thoroughly gripping game unfolded:

Minutes 0-10: The snow is falling, but so far the players are managing to stay upright. Both teams look decent in possession.

Minutes 11-20: RVP heads it on goal at the 12 minute mark, but the soft effort is easily held by Tottenham 'keeper Hugo Lloris. Gareth Bale and Aaron Lennon test David De Gea at the other end, but the latter is correctly judged to be fractionally offside. Nemanja Vidic takes yet another knock on the head, and Spurs begin to take a slight edge in possession.

Minutes 21-30: Michael Carrick sees yellow as a cautious, cagey opening quarter continues. RVP gives United a one goal advantage with his second effort on goal, easily beating Lloris at the near post after Tom Cleverly whips in a cross from the opposite side. De Gea beats away Jermaine Defoe's low strike at the other end to preserve the lead.

Minutes 31-40: The ball moves freely around both sides of  the pitch, but neither side shows much ambition going forward. De Gea is forced into a foot save after Bale's shot glances off Rio Ferdinand, but United throw their bodies around the box with reckless abandon to shut down the threat.

Minutes 41-45: Danny Welbeck begins to make an impact playing from the left wing. Clint Dempsey forces a corner just before the half time whistle, but the ensuing corner goes out of bounds.

Ruh Roh! Trouble Ahead for Spurs?

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Ed is back with some thoughts on Spurs' slow start to the season:

Spurs have now played three games against only mediocre BPL competition and they haven't won once.  Worse, they've only looked good in one half of one game – the first half last week against West Brom – and even then they didn't seem to get enough really good chances.  And double worse, it's painful to say it, but they look startlingly similar to Chelsea last year when they were managed by AVB.  As Scooby Doo would say:  Ruh Roh.

So here are my questions for AVB:

1.                  Defoe.  The offensive 4-2-3-1 is certainly a formation that works and is popular internationally. However, Spurs seem to be playing this formation with Gylfi Sigurdsson deep, the two midfielders holding even deeper, the wingers wide on the lines, and the diminutive Defoe all alone front and center. Defoe is obviously not someone that's going to win and retain possession.  He's also too small to capitalize on any high crossing balls launched in by Bale and Lennon.  So is Gylfi playing too deep?  If not, why are you playing this way with Defoe in the lineup?  And why did you sign an extension with Defoe if you intend to play this way? 

2.                  Double D's.  Spurs picked up Dempsey and Dembele.  Both are attacking midfielders like Gylfi Sigurdsson. Where are they going to play?  Why have you gone three deep at one position?  Are you intending to change formation?

3.                  Van Der Vaart.  Why did you part with VDV?  It seemed clear in from game one, and it seemed confirmed by your starting him in game two, that VDV outplayed Sigurdsson in the attacking midfielder position.  VDV possesses the ball better, passes better, and put 13 in the back of the net last year. Granted, VDV isn't fast, but what did you gain by letting him go?

Mood Ring: My Minute-by-Minute Account of Round 38 in the BPL

Photo by Half Alive -- Soo ZZZ on Flickr

10:00 am EST/3:00 pm BST   Ring Color: GOLD – UNSETTLED/ MIXED EMOTIONS

As Survival Sunday kicks off, I’m a bundle of emotions – Sad, because it’s the last day of the season; Upset, because it appears as if Manchester United have thrown away the title after being up by eight points with only six games left; and Nervous -- Could this be the day of another stunning comeback from the Champions, who can never be truly counted out?  Only time will tell.

10:10am EST / 3:10pm BST   Ring Color: BROWN – RESTLESS

Stealing a page out of his mentor’s playbook, Sparky appears to have ordered his troops to play “Park the Bus” today at the Etihad.  But can they do it for 90 minutes?  It looks highly doubtful.  Actually, to this point in the match, it looks highly doubtful that QPR can even string two passes together.

10:12am EST / 3:12pm BST   Ring Color: PINK – FEAR / UNCERTAIN

Jonathan Walters has scored for Stoke.  Crap!  Now QPR don’t even need a result today to stay up.  What little bit of hope was there to begin with has been cast aside.

10:14am EST / 3:14pm BST

West Brom have scored for the second time in four minutes, and Arsenal have thrown away a one goal cushion.  Could Spurs really finish third…?!  I might crack a beer and settle in for the long haul….  It’s not too early, is it?

10:20am EST / 3:20pm BST     Ring Color: RED – ENERGY / EXCITED / ADVENTUROUS

Wazza’s got United on the board with a header past Mignolet to give the Once and Future Champions a 1-nil lead at Sunderland.  It’s good news, got me a bit excited, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves.  There’s a lot of football still to be played.  And let’s not forget -- it’s QPR on the pitch at the Etihad.  I’m definitely cracking a beer, though.

10:25am EST / 3:25pm BST 

An easy giveaway by Sean Wright-Phillips, gifting the ball to Ya Ya Toure, followed by a near hand ball just outside the box.  Once again, Wright-Phillips is the donor. Is he literally trying to hand the title to City?

10:30am EST / 3:30pm BST   Ring Color: BROWN – RESTLESS

QPR appear to be growing into the game, although you know City will still create their chances.  To borrow a trite phrase, QPR are defending like lions, but they’re draining my mental energy.  Come to think of it, they’re draining my beer, too.  Better get another.

And Now For Some Reader Mail

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Correspondent Ed dips into the latest mailbag:

Dear Corresp. Ed:

Love your columns!  Do you think Jose Mourinho has what it takes to take Real Madrid past Barcelona?

--Georgie T. (your number 1 fan), I’m in London, but you’re always in my dreams

Thanks for your support, Miss Georgie, and wow, I’m kind of blushing now....  To answer your question, I’m not sure that nutty face-pincher has what it takes to get past Barca.  The reality that is hitting the football world – or should be – is that the Barca tactical system is the most efficient  system in modern football.  Barca controlled the ball against a very good Madrid side a startling 73% of the time, and doubled the number of shots on goal taken by their opponent.  Barca is by far the better team, even though their talent is only somewhat better, and until Mourinho learns the Barca system he’ll never be more than second best no matter how many girlish slaps he puts on the oppositions assistant coaches.  But if you still don’t believe me, check out what the talentless Swansea team – the Barca of Wales – is doing in the EPL.  Spurs may be the most fun team in the EPL to watch, but Swansea isn’t close behind.

Corresp. Ed:

Keep up the great work!  Is it true that whenever there is a Copa Del Ray match, the offices of FOF allow tripping, pinching, and flopping?

--Donny K., California, USA

First of all, shut the frack up Donny!  (Sorry, man, I've been waiting for the opportunity to drop my favorite Big Lebowski line for a long time).  Second, it is true that on days of Barca v. Real matches the boss man declares “Copa Rules” and pretty much any kind of slapping, hand-stomping, face pinching, and hair pulling is permitted, but any kind of self-respecting retaliation or manly gestures are strictly forbidden.  And here’s something you probably don’t know:  no one can grab his face and drop better than the Corresp. Scott.  After pretending to take a thumb to the eye this week during a power point presentation, he flopped to the conference room floor and clawed at his face for a good 45 seconds with only occasional peaks at the boss man.  It was glorious to watch.  Glorious.

Corresp. Ed:

Do you think Jermaine Defoe has a legitimate complaint about not playing, considering he’s scored 11 goals in only 14 appearances?

Come on you Spurs!

--Jermaine, London, England

Well, uh, Jermaine, I would have to agree with you.  Opposing defenders have contended that Adebayor is an extremely difficult match up with.  That said, I think the reluctance to switch him out by Uncle Harry has almost as much to do with staying with what got you there as it has to do with ability.  I’ve never seen a player off-sides more than Adebayor, and he’s not that great a finisher.  Defoe, however, can finish inside a phone booth.  I expect to see him more as the season progresses, and a healthy Defoe could mean lots of goals for Spurs. 

Twenty Questions

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Just because Correspondent Ed is so damn curious....

1.  How does United go from great (start of season) to awful (lose to Swiss Miss) to great again (two 5-nil wins) to awful again (losses to Blackburn and Newcastle)?


2.  When did Everton and Bolton become Championship division teams?


3.  Why does no one appreciate how good Clint Dempsey is except Fulham?


4.  Could Joe Hart be the best keeper in the world right now?  Is it even close for second?


5.  Will Spurs actually squeeze ahead of Manchester United this year?


6.  Swansea's players are tiny tiny good, and aren't they the Blackpool of 2011 except that they will stay up?


7.  When did Liverpool become Aston Villa, and when did Aston Villa become Wolves?


8.  The best thing to happen to Everton lately was picking up Landon Donovan, but will that be the worst thing to happen to Landon Donovan?


9.  Shouldn't goals scored by the keeper -- like the one scored by Tim Howard this week -- count for 4 times as many points as goals by forwards?


10.  Is it mean to note that Fernando Torres now only has two more goals this year than Tim Howard?

Paging Jermaine Defoe

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Roving columnist Ed checks in with an analysis of where Spurs are and what they need to do to climb even higher:

SPURS LODGE, CHIGWELL, ENGLAND

Okay, so Van der Vaart, Modric, Bale, King, and Kaboul are all out with injuries.  And Defoe is so cold he gives me a shiver every time I see him play.  And they’ve got to win to keep pace with the big boys or lose their place in the Champions League next year.  So what will they do?  Keep winning, of course.

These are your 2011 Spurs.  It’s not like the old Spurs who crumble or disappear weak-kneed into the sunset.  Harry picks up Pienaar (hah) and puts in Kranjcar again and boom – an assist by Pienaar (hah), another big goal by Kranjcar, and a 2 - 1 victory, this time at Sunderland.

It makes me wonder – is Redknapp really this good?  Is he really pulling off success in the Champions League and competing for a top four place in the EPL with backups?  Or is it that he’s just lucky that players that are forced into the lineup are playing this well?  Probably some of both.

Topping the Group While Kissing Your Sister

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farlieonfootie's correspondent James checks in with his weekly take on yet another enjoyable Spurs game, this time from the Champions League match played in Enschede, also known as the Amsterdam of the eastern Netherlands. Although I don't often feel compelled to review James' rather lavish expense reports on a line item basis, he has spent some considerable time this week attempting to convince me that the credit card charge labeled "Red Light District" is actually related to a traffic violation:

It would be quite typical of this almost maddeningly but quite entertainingly inconsistent Spurs team to lose this match somewhere in the neighborhood of 4-3.  After all, they’ve already qualified to move forward in Champions League, they're on the road and, well, it would just be typical Spurs, especially after the weekend's frustrating second half collapse at St. Andrews. 

Much has been written recently about how appealing Spurs' wide open brand of football is for “neutrals,” and how, therefore, their realistic chances of winning a title here or, especially, in the Premiership, are pretty much nil. The primary reasoning behind this line of thinking is that the synonyms for words like “entertaining” and “wide open” are “injury ravaged" and "fright-inducing central defense.” 

Now, in Spurs’ defense’s defense, they have in fact been ravaged by injury (e.g., Woodgate, Dawson, King, Corluka, etc.).  Nevertheless, Gallas has been a rock until late in games, when he just flat runs out of gas and looks every one of his 33 years, Kaboul had become a pleasant revelation up until his injury two games ago, and the two primary two fullbacks – Hutton and Assou-Ekotto – are more attuned to the offensive end of the pitch in both skill and temperament, thereby further bolstering an attacking strategy, but putting further pressure on the middle.