Unless: Italy 2 - Germany 1

photo by Ed Yourdon	via PhotoRee

So, Germany had never beaten Italy, but as this column right here clearly told you, and in language that would be familiar to any student of economic bubbles worldwide, this time things were going to be different.  Sure, Germany had never -- not once -- beaten Italy in a major football tournament, but we all saw the raw power, the sheer athletic might of this current squad from Deutschland.  You couldn't help but notice it and be suitably impressed.  And who were these Italians that faced them, other than a less than potent version of their predecessors, a team without an effective striker, that had a tough time finding the net, a group that had won only one of its tournament games to date in 90 minutes, and only two years removed from the bunch that failed to qualify for the knockout round of the most recent World Cup...?  So this game had no chance of even being close, did it?

Unless.

Unless a certain Andrea Pirlo -- a 33 year old, six years removed from being the most valuable player at the 2006 World Cup, who has undoubtedly been the player of this year's Euro tournament -- is there to block a ball off the line in the game's first seven minutes, a ball that has already evaded a haplessly waving Gianluigi Buffon, that is headed into the back of the net to provide an early German lead and begin the rout.

Unless Italian striker Mario Balotelli could lose his marker and capitalize on a pinpoint accurate Antonio Cassano cross, nodding it past German 'keeper Manuel Neuer to give Italy a surprise 1-nil lead halfway through the first 45 minutes, a lead that would represent the inaugural German deficit of the entire Euro qualifying campaign and tournament.

Unless minutes later, Balotelli were to split the German center backs, and take dead aim at the opposition net, rocketing the ball past a shellshocked Neuer and creating a two goal advantage for the Italians, sowing havoc in the German defense and creating serious problems for the Teutonic game plan heading into the interval. 

Unless Gigi Buffon were to find a way to rewind the years and stretch every inch of his long, lean body to stop a laser-like Marco Reus free kick from slipping just under the bar and keep the Germans off the board and the shutout intact at the hour mark.

Unless the Italians could make the German midfield look more like England's midfield, negating such big-club superstars as Mezut Ozil, Sami Khedira and Bastian Schweinsteiger for a full 90 minutes, allowing the men from der Deutschland possession but not penetration, keeping the danger well at bay and looking nothing more than comfortable throughout the entire match.


Unless every well struck German ball were to sail just over the bar, time and again ending up behind the goal instead of in it, frustrating both the players on the pitch and gradually sapping the spirit of their countrymen in the stadium and the millions of fans of German football watching the match round the globe.

Unless Buffon were to deny Mats Hummels from close range as regulation time wound down, the latter man scuffing his foot into the ground rather than getting some power into the ball and providing a desperate boost to Germany's late comeback effort.

Unless even a handball in stoppage time that led to a well struck Ozil penalty and a German goal is not enough to deny the Italians a victory they so richly deserved by this point.

So, unless all of the above were to happened -- a far-fetched scenario, that -- the  game was pretty much in the bag for the Germans, negating the need to even watch the match. And that would have been a lot to ask for, by any stretch of the imagination.... 

Surely, there's no way it could have happened like that  -- could it?

This is farlieonfootie for June 29.