farlieonfootie's 3rd Annual Barclay's Premier League Season Preview

Ed is Taking farlieonfootie's Picks Right to the Nearest Bookie
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It's just about that time again, and since neither Correspondent Ed nor Correspondent Scott have been willing to stick out their respective necks, it once again falls upon your Editor-in-Chief to take one for the team.  Never afraid to make a prediction, and sometimes even making uncannily accurate ones, it's time for the third annual farlieonfootie pre-season picks for the 2013 - 2014 edition of the Barclay's Premier League.

We'll note, of course, that these prognostications are subject to revision if any of the much-ballyhooed late transfer moves come through -- moves involving Bale, Ronaldo, Rooney or the like certainly have the ability to shake things up, including even our vaunted predictions.  Unlike last season, when the transfer of the year was made relatively early (hint: Remember that one, Arsenal and City fans?), this year's top move could still be yet to happen:

 

2013/2014 Premier League Winners: This is a tough one for us to admit, but we believe Chelsea may have the talent on board to win the Premiership this season.  And by talent, we're not talking about the players on the pitch -- sure, they're important -- but more so the talent in the manager's office.  Combining Mourinho -- surely with something to prove, not only to the Chelsea fans who love him so dearly, but also to the Manchester United Board of Directors that gave him not even the merest hint of affection -- with names like Mata, Hazard and Oscar means that Chelsea's offensive creativity will now be married to the Portuguese bossman's steely pragmatism.  And where defense has been a relative weakness these past few seasons, we don't believe Mou will put up with mediocrity for long.  The major question at Les Bleus revolves around who will lead the line -- and if Rooney is out, then we fear that Jose will figure out how to unleash the beast that is Romelu Lukaku. 

 

2013/2014 Runner's Up: Manchester United.   We note that most of the so-called football pundits have picked United to finish third, behind both Chelsea and City, but we're not buying it.  If we were truly bold, instead of slightly nervous and only kinda-sorta bold, we'd be picking the Red Devils to win the league once again. Let's rememeber: this is a team that cantered to the League title last season -- a season in which they still lacked the much-discussed truly world-class midfield.  Unfortunately, though, the transition at the top has made us a bit less confident, and while we respect David Moyes, he's no Sir Alex Ferguson -- and that's not a slight.  Super Robin returns to lead the attack, and with Vidic, Rio and De Gea spending some considerable time together we think there will be more than enough goals to routinely outscore the competition.  The major questions at United would seem to be two-fold: What in the world will happen to Wayne Rooney, and will United actually bring in any summer transfer targets, or only flirt with them?  The lack of a clear answer to either of these questions heading into the season's opening weekend points only to one place: second.

 

2013/2014 Best of the Rest: Manchester City sure spent alot of money this off-season, didnt they? 

Lower Your Expectations

Ed Has Lowered His Expectations Ever Since He Supported For John Edwards for President
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Caution:  This article by Correspondent Ed was written under the influence of an adult beverage.  Or two:  

It's pathetically easy to be a fan of Manchester United.  At least it used to be.  David Moyes is a great coach, but will he have Fergie's touch?  Unlikely, because like him or hate him, Fergie was one of the top coaches of all time.  That's a tough bar to meet.  Look for United to remain in the top four due to their budget; but don't expect too many top finishes.  It's definitely going to heat up in Manchester when Pellegrini shows up at City.... 

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I've never hated Arsenal as much as I have this year.  Their perpetually annoying manager aimed for a top four spot, and despite embarassing themselves in the Champions League and playing pretty poorly most of the season, it looks pretty certain that they are going to make it.  This is a team with a poor goalkeeper, worse defenders, and some retread forwards and midfielders.  Great coaching?  I guess.  But anyone that has no answer to Olympiakos in the Champions League Group stage ought to be ashamed of themselves.  And guess what -- next year in the Champions League someone else is going to embarrass these guys.  Arsenal is flush with cash yet all they hope for is mediocrity.  This is pathetic and sad, and underserving of a Champions League position.

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Dodgy: Manchester United 1 - Arsenal 1

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Two dodgy officiating decisions from Referee Phil Dowd's crew were all that separated Manchester United from leaving the Emirates with three points on Sunday, the Champions held instead to a 1-1 draw in a chippy contest played at The Emirates. On a day which United received a pre-game Guard of Honor from their opponents to commemorate their title winning season, the post-game stories revolved around none other than the man who also dominated the the headlines leading up to the match: United's leading offensive light, and first-time League winner Robin Van Persie.  

It was Theo Walcott, though, who began the day's action and put Arsenal on the board inside of two minutes after an uncharacteristically sloppy midfield giveaway by Van Persie. The Gunners also benefitted mightily from a misjudgment by the line judge, who neglected to spot the Arsenal winger starting his run at least a half yard offside before emerging unscathed in the box and poking the ball under David De Gea's outstretched hands.

Arsenal played the first half on Sunday as if it mattered -- which it did for them, in spades -- while the champions began the game sluggishly, as if still working off their Tuesday morning hangovers. Eleven minutes passed before the visitors found themselves with the ball in the home side's box, and that it ended up high and wide in the stands only added comedic effect to the disastrous opening.

Phil Jones headed wide from Van Persie's cross to create United's initial threat on goal, but the vast majority of the first half was played with the game comfortably under the control of the Gunners' midfield.  The home side denied the visitors time on the ball, and the Reds struggled to feed the ball into their man man -- the yellow card near the half hour mark signifying that Van Persie may have been feeling the heat of a crowd that lustily booed his every touch.  That he was joined by three of his teammates in the referee's book before halftime was another obvious sign of an uncomfortable performance from the visitors.

De Gea was forced to beat away Lucas Podolski's blast as the game began to stretch, but it was United's Flying Dutchman who came even closer to putting the ball in the net -- denied only by Wojciech Sczcesny's face.  If Van Persie had been quiet to this point in the contest, things were rapidly beginning to change.

The scoreline was soon leveled, although the equalizer came only after Jones was off target with his second header of the half. Inevitably, it was Van Persie who did the damage, atoning for his earlier carelessness and scoring from the spot after being scythed down in the box by Bacary Sagna -- the Frenchman compounding his mistake by adding a penalty and a yellow card to an overly casual midfield giveaway.

Laughing Stock: Bayern Munich 3 - Arsenal 1

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o Did Gus Johnson just say on FOX that the teams were "feeling each other up" at the outset of the match?  I thought this was supposed to be family friendly entertainment.

o Manuel Neuer was awarded a free kick for falling over on his own accord.

o Bayern: 1 shot, 1 goal. That didn't take long.

o Theo Walcott's pace is bothering Bayern; then again, Walcott's pace bothers most teams. He's significantly picked up his game this year.

o 20 minutes in, two goals down. Time to admit I was wrong about Arsenal pulling off a surprise result tonight....

o Arsenal couldn't defend a corner if Arsene Wenger's job depended on it. Wait -- it does depend on it...?!

o Gus Johnson just turned Phillip Lahm into a Frenchman. Phillipe, I believe he called him.  Someone please stop this broadcasting farce.

o Apparently, what attracted FOX to Johnson is that he excels at repeatedly saying players names and stating the obvious. Except when he mispronounces names as in Lahm's case; in that event, he only excels at pointing out the obvious.

o Serious question: Which is funnier tonight?  FOX's announcing or Arsenal's defending?

Movement and Light: Round 23 in the BPL

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o While everyone's talking about Clint Dempsey's late late show against the League leaders, we prefer to focus on the goal that handed United an early advantage at White Hart Lane on Sunday -- and not just for the obvious reasons. What we saw was stupendous movement by Robin Van Persie, the kind you don't see from any other player in the League at the moment. One minute the Red Devil striker is carefully marked by Spurs' defensive pairing of Walker and Vertonghen, and the next -- don't blink or you'll miss it -- he's standing in acres of space, lit up all by himself. The striker is in imperious form right now and this week's goal demonstrates it clearly -- he's playing an utterly different game than the many mere mortals who surround him, and the timing of his runs is pure magic.

o And while a bunch of people were only too happy to criticize young David De Gea for his weak punch on Sunday, check out the replay before you make the accusation: the Spaniard was completely taken out of the play by his own Captain. Nemanja Vidic rushed straight into De Gea and basically submarined him - and not many players in the world are capable of surviving a collision with the big Serb.

o We're not big fans of whining Frenchmen here at farlieonfootie, but we have to admit that Arsenal bossman Arsene Wenger had a point on Sunday. Not a point from the game -- it was a toothless Arsenal side he sent out to meet the Blues at Stamford Bridge, after all -- but instead a point about Referee Martin Atkinson missing a clear foul by Ramires on Francis Coquelin (the former a dirty player if ever there was one) immediately preceding Juan Mata's opening goal. Compounding matters that involved the same parties, Atkinson doubled his gifts to the home side by awarding Ramires a penalty -- when the Brazilian clearly tripped untouched over Arsenal 'keeper Sczcesny's outstretched leg. We've harped on it time and time again on this blog -- Atkinson is a poor and obviously biased referee who is either not up to the task or on Roman Abramovich's payroll.

Wearing a Yankees Cap: Week 13 in the BPL

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o The West Brom run continues: Steve Clarke's boys comfortably dispatched Sunderland at the Stadium of Shite on Saturday, and after winning four in a row the question needs to be asked: is this a team that can challenge for a European spot this season?  Devoid of any true "big name" stars, the Baggies are succeeding by being a team in the truest sense of the word.

o One of the secrets to success in English football commentary appears to be screaming a player's surname every time he's about to shoot, hoping that you'll look like a genius for predicting a goal before the ball even ruffles the back of the net.  Although you'd think another lesson they'd teach at Announcing School these days would be that shouting "Torres!" when 'Nando's got the ball in the box is an utter waste of breath.

o It's a good thing Spanish is Rafa Benitez' first language, as Roman Abramovitch may now have a far easier time convincing the Blues' new boss that the Booing sounds which reverberated around Stamford Bridge as he walked onto the pitch are actually a particularly English form of affection.

o Chelsea and City played one of the more uninspired games of the recent Premier League era in their nil-nil draw on Sunday, a disjointed affair that featured zero goals and just about the same number of chances.  If we didn't know better we could easily have been convinced that this was a battle between two relegated teams marking time until the season's end -- there was little sign of passion or even the barest hint of a rivalry between the two clubs.  If this is the dawn of the Rafa era at Chelsea, Roman had better equip the seats at Stamford bridge with sleeping bags.

o Sighting of the week: The Drog.  At the Bridge.  In the rain.  With a Yankees Cap on, sitting in the stands.  What a difference a year makes....

The Observatory: Week 6 in the BPL

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o Chelsea 2 - Arsenal 1: Arsenal boss Arsene Wenger took a big risk by benching Per Mertesacker and starting Laurent Koscielny in central defense against Chelsea this past weekend, but was handsomely rewarded for his bold decision. Koscielny returned a goal and an assist during his terror-inducing minutes on the pitch. Now all Le Professor has to do is point out that it's the other net Koscielny should be aiming at....

o Manchester City 2- Fulham 1 : Has Vincent Kompany let success go to his (extra large) head? The Belgian looks a completely different player than last season -- and not for the better. Giving away cheap fouls and letting his temper get the best of him, Kompany also looks a step shy of the player who was the best defender in the English League last season and a major contributor to City's title run.

o Liverpool 5 - Norwich City 2: Congratulations to Chris Hughton for accomplishing something no other Manager has been able to this season: turning Luis Suarez into an accurate shooter and shaking Liverpool out of their torpid state. In a related development, don't be surprised when Hughton's Norwich City squad become the first team to be relegated this season.

Letting it Flow: Week Five in the Barclay's Premier League

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o Two things we learned while watching Everton tear Swansea apart limb-by-limb on Saturday: 1) The bloom may be off the rose for Manager Michael Laudrup and his boys from Wales -- the Swans' second loss in a row has seriously stalled their momentum and called into question just how strong the squad actually is; and 2) No such questions are being asked of David Moyes and Everton. Liverpool's top club looked fantastic once again this season at the Liberty Stadium, and only poor refereeing has managed to stop the Toffees from reaching 12 points after their first five games. So much for Everton's traditional slow start....

o Chelsea appear to be morphing into a La Liga side before our very eyes. Pretty to the eye -- except if you're Roman Abramovich, who appeared as if he was watching paint dry from his customary seat at Stamford Bridge -- but lacking a certain directness that is a hallmark of the English game, Chelsea step-overed and back-heeled it with best of them on Saturday but were less successful at finding goal -- only second half substitute Victor Moses seemed the least bit intent on blazing a path toward net for the Blues. On a bright note, however, along with their slim 1-nil victory over Stoke, Chelsea appear to have mastered the art of the Spanish flop, with Branislav Ivanovich and Oscar displaying perfect form in their attempts to con the referee.

o Note to future opponents: please make certain to mark Javi Garcia on set plays. I've lost count of the number of headers the City newcomer has managed to put on-target over the past three outings, and he just may be the most dangerous set piece player in the game right now.

o Like the turning of the leaves, one true sign of the nascent fall season was spotted this weekend as Le Professor broke out the sideline puffer jacket for the Gooners' game at Eastlands on Sunday. If only his counterpart Roberto Mancini had deemed the weather cool enough for his natty blue and white scarf, we could have officially declared the new season to be in full swing.

o Kudos to American Clint Dempsey for his first start in front of the home fans at Whitehart Lane on Sunday. Our view was that the midfielder looked energetic and dangerous against QPR, but may have been trying just a bit too hard to find the net. Here's some advice, Clint: relax and let it flow. The goals will come.

o While we appreciate that Hatem Ben Arfa and the rest of the boys at Newcastle were attempting to restore Papiss Cisse's confidence by letting him take a penalty at home against Norwich City on Sunday, man oh man, we wonder how far the resulting miss may have set back the Senegalese striker. While Cisse may have made the Geordies wonder if his fellow countryman Demba Ba was expendable with his form in the latter half of last season, the shoe is now firmly on the other foot. And that's the same foot that brought about a moonshot of a penalty that should be passing by the International Space Station any day now....

The Zombie Hunters: Round 36 in the BPL

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o It was a weekend of big scores and clarifying futures.  Newcastle, Fulham and QPR got crushed, and Blackburn basically threw in the towel on their relegation fight at the Lane, handing in a meekly comfortable 2-0 loss for their weekly effort.  QPR and Bolton fans are feeling the heat, and Aston Villa fans aren't feeling very comfortable, either.  But the big game of the weekend is being played today, and because of that we're going to delay handing out the Player of the Week award.  If one player comes up big on Monday, the title race could be over and done: more and more, it's looking like Winner Take All.

o Luis Suarez and Fernando Torres both turned in hat tricks, and Kevin Davies added a brace to his season total.  The Zombie hunters are on red alert with so many notorious strikers coming back from the dead and buried.

o What in the hell is going on in Wigan?  And where were these guys earlier in the season??  Wigan looked like the English Barcelona after shredding the Newcastle back line repeatedly in the Saturday contest on their way to a four goal victory.  Playing with only three defensive backs and two wing backs to bomb forward and flood midfield, the rugby townies taught the Toon Army a footballing lesson on Saturday.

o The importance of today's Manchester derby can't be understated. For all those United fans buoyed by the knowledge that City still has to travel to Newcastle next weekend, realize this: the Magpies will be playing their third game in eight days by the time that fixture is contested, and could be coming off two road losses in a row -- not exactly a huge confidence booster.

o Apparently you can handball it as much as you want if Mark Clattenburg is in charge of the game.  Denying West Brom a stone wall penalty and Villa more two other penalty shouts of their own, the man in the middle of Saturday's gamedid his fair share in contributing to yet another 0-0 draw for Villa. It's a point, but that still may not be enough for the Villans to escape the wicked grasp of relegation.

o By the way, if the final few minutes of the Villa - West Brom game were any indication of what were going to see these final few weeks as teams attempt to avoid being relegated, we're in for a real treat this season.

o Chant of the Weekend: "Let's All Do the Wenger," from the loud and rowdy Stoke City crowd located right behind the Arsenal Manager, as a highly agitated Professor was unsuccessful in his attempt to conjure up a winning goal from the sideline of Saturday's 1-1 draw at the Britannia.

o Gotta love the Chelsea fans: booing Anton Ferdinand for being a victim of racial abuse, before proudly applauding Ferdinand's abuser as he scored the game's second goal on Sunday. Pure class, all the way around.  Chelsea and Terry: They deserve each other.

And Then There Were Two: Manchester United 2 - Arsenal 1

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With Manchester City's dramatic late win over Tottenham in Sunday's early contest, it was left to the other team from Manchester to make up the weekend's point deficit all by themselves. United trotted out in their lucky blue and black away kits needing three points from behind enemy lines to keep ground with the League leaders. For their part, Arsenal entered the game with a less than full-strength squad, in a season beset by injuries, as Head Gunner Arsene Wenger handed 18 year-old Alexis Oxlaide-Chamberlain his full League debut.

The game began a cagey enough affair, with both sides sniffing the other out like a pair of dogs. Aaron Ramsey, Theo Walcott and Oxlaide-Chamberlain saw the best opportunities in the early going, although Jonny Evans and Anders Lindegaard proved up to the task when called upon.  Meanwhile, Arsenal were content to sit back and allow United to build from within their own half, but the visitors' patient interplay failed to showcase much in the way of attacking intent.

Somewhat worryingly for the away side, Phil Jones was stretchered off at the game's 15 minute mark, the victim of an ankle roll replaced by Rafael Da Silva after being added to United's lengthy injury worries. After the substituion United began to look a bit more threatening -- more like the ominous clouds hanging over the darkening skies above the Emirates -- but were unable to navigate their way past the makeshift Gunner defense.

It was the 25th minute before Danny Welbeck caught the eye, but the young Englishman's first streak forward was interrupted at the last minute by Laurent Koscielny's pacey defending. Ryan Giggs was one of United's few bright spots in the game's first half hour, with his jinking runs through the middle of the pitch providing some few looks at the never-aging Welshman's peerless wizardry.

United's pressure built as Luis Nani was stopped by Arsenal 'keeper Wojciech Sczcesny, the young Pole denying the winger at the near post. Arsenal was reduced to applying pressure through the counter attack, a 180 degree role reversal in the two teams' typical behavior in the encounter. Mike Dean refused a penalty on Wayne Rooney -- although it was more scant hope from Wazza than reaction to a sharp elbow which accompanied his fall in the box. Nani blazed in on goal as the interval drew near, but the wide man's decision making proved as frustratingly off target as his eventual shot.

In final half stoppage time it was Giggs yet again, combining with Antonio Valencia for some late drama. The Ecuadorian netted off Gigg's arcing cross for one of his most meaningful goals of the season, providing a powerful hammer blow to the Gunners' hopes.  The timing of the half was unfortunate: the visitors now had the lead and were in the ascendancy, but with a new 45 minutes still to play there was only the slimmest of winning margins separating the two sides at the break.

Another Saturday...Down the Drain

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Despite the cold, rainy weather, a large contingent of Blackburn fans endured a  pre-game march Saturday to demonstrate against Steve Keane continuing as their Manager. "We need an experienced manager," said one of the protesters. He's right, although never mind that Rovers already had a perfectly good one in Big Sam before they jettisoned him to make way for Keane.  "I don't blame [Keane] for taking the job. I'd do the same if they offered it to me," said another marcher. Good point -- So would I!  How 'bout it, Venky's?

o But while Steve Keane is feeling the heat -- perhaps temporarily relieved by his team's 4-3 home victory on Saturday over Arsenal -- how hot is the water beginning to get for Arsene Wenger?  That Arsenal lost again yesterday isn't really news at this point.  What is news, though, is just how bad the Gunners managed to look while losing.  I haven't previously been in the "Arsene Must Go" contingent, but even I'm beginning to doubt Le Professor after this most recent loss, in which the Gunners' defense most closely resembled a packet of Swiss Cheese.


o Arsenal's shape continues to be terrible. The defense, even with the addition of Andre Santos and Per Mertesacker -- or maybe because of the addition of Santos and Mertesacker -- couldn't hold a straight line if they were tied together to a ruler. They looked completely panicked and disorgnaized at the back yesterday -- "at sixes and sevens," as the Brits like to say -- and Laurent Koscielny in particular looked completely out of his depth trying to guard Chris Samba on set pieces.

o Arsenal's current form is poor -- and I mean really bad. The quality of their football has noticeably and truly dropped. It's as if the disappearance of Cesc Fabregas and Samir Nasri has turned them into a team which would struggle to stay on the good end of a relegation battle.  And yet we know that the team wasn't this bad when Fabregas and Nasri were out last season -- which they were a fair bit.  I think it's safe to say that in addition to missing their two best players the London side is struggling from a real crisis in confidence right now, and it must come from the very top.  I've long believed that any organization comes to resemble the person in charge, and if this is the case, then Arsene Wenger is not the calm, cool, professorial person he resembles on the outside, but a frightened, disorganized and incompetent man on the inside.

And They Have a Plan

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By Correspondent Ed

I remember with great fondness my deep foray into the world of Battlestar Gallactica (new series) with the new and improved, wicked hot cylon ladies.  I also remember the shows great tagline, repeated at the beginning of each episode just to set the tone:

"The cylons were created by man. 

They evolved. 

They rebelled. 

There are many copies." 

[Then an ominous pause before ……]

"And they have a plan."

Ooooooo, that still makes me shiver a little bit, that whole evil plan stuff.  I mean, they're not just out there trying to get us, they've got a plan, too!  And we don't know what it is!  In the immortal words of Bill Paxton's Private Hudson from the movie Aliens: "Game Over, man!!  We're all gonna die!!"

After watching the beat down of the team formerly known as Arsenal this past Sunday, and after watching Arsene Wenger excuse it at least in part on account of fatigue (so sad), even the most loyal fan of the current manager must be wondering "Does Arsenal have a plan?"

Beatdown

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Manchester United showed no mercy yesterday, issuing an historic beatdown to an undermanned Arsenal side, and inflicting the worst defeat their North London rivals have suffered in 115 years of playing football.  8-2 only begins to tell part of the tale, as the game's final scoreline could easily have been much worse.  United dominated the Gunners from whistle to whistle, and goals flew in from every which angle and player: Rooney (3), Young (2), Welbeck, Nani, and Park all added their name to the scorer's sheet in a match that inflicted a significant psychological blow to Arsenal and their beleaguered manager, Arsene Wenger, damage from which it could take the Londoners some significant amount of time to recover.

Playing as if they were concerned the local headlines would revolve around their Noisy Neighbors' 5-1 victory over Spurs earlier in the afternoon, United dominated possession against their rivals and time and again displayed the lightning quick pace and breathtaking offensive moves for which the young side is quickly becoming noted.  Indeed, it's difficult to note any even insignificant deficiencies in the Champions effort on Sunday, with the only disappointment in the match for United fans certain to be Danny Welbeck's hamstring pull midway through the first half.

Highlights from the contest are numerous, so instead of rehashing what would be a very  lengthy list I'll leave you with some general impressions from the match:

On a Dull Knife's Edge

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A Cesc- and Samir-less Arsenal played a Alexi-less Udinese at the Emirates last night in a Champions League qualifier that stood out solely for its lack of finishing. Although the English domestic league opened for business this past weekend, the action in Italy doesn't open for another week and a half, so theoretically the home side should have had a distinct advantage heading into the match.

o That theoretical favoritism turned into a real life boon in less than five minutes, as the Gunners' Theo Walcott volleyed a pinpoint Aaron Ramsey cross into the back of the net for a quick 1-nil lead. Ramsey had better be up to repeating the beauty of that first cross a bunch this season, as the London side is going to need to have a heckuva season out of him if they hope to maintain their Champions League qualification. Note that I didn't say "...hope to win a trophy."

o Anyone else thinking Gervinho is pretty much going to fit in perfectly at Arsenal?  He looks great on the ball, but almost always makes the wrong move or pass right at the critical juncture. I haven't seen enough of him to make a final judgment, but what I've seen so far hasn't been too convincing.

o Arsenal's defense last night, despite keeping a clean sheet, looked as porous as a sponge.  Udinese cut the Gunners' back four to shreds on the counterattack on more than one occasion, and their domestic rivals, including Liverpool and United, must be licking their lips in anticipation, especially given that Sir Alex's favorite style of slaying the Londoners involves absorbing pressure and then striking hardest when Arsenal gets caught too far up the pitch.

o And if the defense was bad, it has to be said the offense -- bar Walcott's early goal -- was not much better, looking as impotent as a roomful of eunuchs during the game's second half. Luckily for Arsenal, Udinese displayed a profligacy in front of net that had to be seen to be believed, as well.

Blackpool Up(and Down)date and Other Thoughts

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Ed's a busy man, as he's continuing to cover Blackpool while also taking back Spurs' responsibilities.  When will he sleep?

Blackpool lost again, this time 5-3 to Everton on the road. The Tangerines fought back twice and took a 3-2 lead with about twenty minutes to play on a great Charlie Adam run ending in a punctuating headed goal. For most teams, the game would be over at that point, but not for Blackpool. Despite Coach Holloway subbing a defender in to go five across at the back, and putting one man forward, Blackpool couldn’t even slow down the attempts of Everton. A few quick goals later and he was forced to go back on offense, which ultimately led the the fifth and final goal.

One might conclude that Blackpool’s skid is a result of their lack of depth, and in part it is. But sadly it’s also just a result of their lack of talent. It used to confuse me when Holloway attempted to keep the pressure on the other team even after putting up leads. Now it is clear to me that his defenders aren’t so much getting caught up field, but rather just aren’t very good at defending in the first place. It makes sense, then, that the his strategy is that it is imperative to put his team in a position to score early and often.

Goon Squad

Three of Arsenal's Defenders Take a Break at Half Time
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One of the most gripping games of the season deserves another look, so we'll spend a moment or two dwelling on each of the eight goals that led to Arsenal ripping up two points and setting the pieces on fire:

• Theo Walcott opened up Toon like a can opener in the game's first minute, splitting the Newcastle defense right down the middle. Walcott has turned deadly with his finishing this season, and his 11th goal of the season showcased two of his many talents: pace and composure.

• Less than two minutes later it's Djourou on the scoreboard, steering Arshavin's dangerous cross into the back of the net. The game can't have started much worse for Pardew's boys, as Arsenal are two goals to the good before the game hits the three minute mark. The Magpies appear shellshocked, but they ain't seen nothing yet.

• Before ten minutes are elapsed it's 3-nil. This time it's Van Persie doing the damage, found through a sweet Walcott cross pulled back into the middle of the box. Alan Pardew claps his hands as if to wake his team up, and to this point in the game Arsenal are absolutely ripping the Newcastle defense to shreds. 

When It's Time To Change

  The Heart of the Arsenal Central Defense 
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I suffered through Wigan playing Arsenal the other night; it wasn't exactly the most exciting game to watch from a neutral's perspective, although I did enjoy the ending. [Ed. Note: can I count myself as a neutral if I was actively rooting against Arsenal?  In fact, is there really such a thing as a neutral?  I look at neutrals the same way I view "Undecideds" in politics. Either you care, or you don't; and if you don't care, why are you watching?]

The Wigan side was composed of four players and seven interchangeable avatars: Charles N'Zogbia, Tom Cleverly, Hugo Rodallega, Ben Watson (who stood out mainly for his bright red hair and penalty kick) and seven "Who's that?" guys.  Give them credit, though -- they played their hearts out and obtained a result against an Arsenal side that should have been flying sky high after their recent victory over arch-rival Chelsea.

Regarding the Arsenal side they tied, though, one must address the elephant in the room:


If Mick McCarthy, Ian Holloway and others face the FA's music for squad rotation, surely Arsene Wenger must be nervously staring a fine in the face after replacing eight of the men who began Monday night's game against Chelsea?  Le Professor must have suffered calendar confusion, and mistakenly assumed that Wednesday night's EPL match was an early round League Cup encounter, to make as many changes as he did. 

Things We Saw at the North London Derby

Spurs correspondent James joined farlieonfootie to report on a wild and wooly North London derby.  Although James was near despondent at the end of the game's first half, his theatrics and ebullient joy could not be contained in the second half, resulting in a rather annoying one-game ban from the Emirates press box.  Herewith our thoughts, as they actually occurred:

• The game's first goal, off the foot of Samir Nasri, is absolutely crazy.  Assou-Ekoto was victimized like a 98 pound weakling in the state penitentiary, which must be a worrying development for Spurs fans with more than 80 minutes left in the game. How in the world did Sammy Nasri get the ball to go sideways and then make a left turn into the goal from such a tight angle?  That's just ridiculous, which brings us to our next topic.

• Have you seen Flappyhandski's pink goal jersey and socks?  It's not a good look.  While James lays the blame on Nike, "the great Satan of sports marketing," I prefer to think of Fabianski as a missing member of Everton's away squad.  Either way, it's a little scary.

• What's up with Marouane Chamakh and the faux-turtleneck look?  James beleives that Chamakh looks as if he's dressed to take a stroll down a Parisian boulevard, but is looking for his missing poodle. In the US, we call that piece of clothing a dickey. I'll just leave it at that. 

Same Old Arsenal: Le Prof's Experiment with Turning Up Le Pressure on Chelsea Explodes in His Face

photo by gordonflood.com	via PhotoRee

Chelsea vs. Arsenal: the big fixture finally arrives as the last game of the weekend. How appropriate that Mike Dean is in charge of the game. I wonder how much Roman paid for his selection....

The game starts with an almost immediate bang as the Gunners miss twice from close range inside the match's first minute. Arsenal play aggressively right from the opening whistle as they press Chelsea high up the pitch. Obviously Le Professor Wenger has a very different gameplan in mind for this season's fixture at the Bridge.  Arsenal play extremely  physical football, crashing into tackles in an attempt to disprove their own coach's assertion that smarts matter more than brawn in today's game.

Chelsea respond and crank up pressure of their own after about 15 minutes, using long passes and corner kicks to threaten Fabianski's goal, which he does his best not to defend. Luckily for Gunner fans, Arsenal's defenders appear not to have received the memo and bail Fabianski out of trouble several times.

By the 25 minute mark Chelsea appear to have two to three more players on the pitch than Arsenal, as the Gunner's pressure strategy has opened up acres of space in the midfield.   Arsenal grab back some of the momentum with a dangerous long shot from Arshavin, and after half an hour the possession is evenly split, with each team holding the ball 50% of the time.

Both Arshavin and Drogba prove wasteful with chances as a remarkably open game unfolds. Le Prof Wenger seems to be be willfully ignoring last week's lecture from the visiting Italian expert, Professor Mancini, on beating Chelsea with a defensive counter-attacking style of football.

Chelsea's goal when it comes is well deserved, Ca$hley Cole assisting on Didier Drogba's 13th goal in 13 games against the Gunners to give the Blues a 1-nil halftime advantage. The goal is painfully reminiscent for Machester United fans of Joe Cole's backheel into the net against the Red Devils last year; after 40 minutes of going toe to toe with the Champs, the Gunners undone by a slick move from a striker at the top of his game.

Well into the second half Arsenal re-apply the pressure as if sunscreen on a Florida summer afternoon, but once again come away with nothing to show for it as their final ball lacks quality virtually every time.  Chelsea are content to play as if City on the counter, and Arsenal miss chance after chance with Chamakh continuing to head the ball usefully away from Chelsea's goal when he isn't busy dropping in the box as if shot by bow and arrow.  Despite Arsenal's dominance, Chelsea almost score again and put the game out of reach with a half hour to go as Squillaci becomes momentarily confused about which team's name appears on his bi-weekly paycheck.  Although he delivers the ball wrapped up in a shiny box with a bow, Anelka inexplicably misses a wide open net to take the three points.

It doesn't matter.  Apparently confusing the battle of the Bridge with a pre-season friendly against Hereford United, with 10 minutes to play and the game still on the line Arsenal bring on the shockingly dangerous Jay Emmanuel Thomas for his first appearance of the season.  The game comes to a conclusion soon afterward with  a fantastic strike by the British Army as an Alex howtizer sends Arsenal fans scurrying for cover and the exits.

Same old Arsenal.  Depsite bossing the game for long stretches, the result is a familar and unwelcome sight for Gunner fans: Chelsea 2- Arsenal nil.  And that's farlieonfootie for October 3rd.