Abject and Powerless: Sunderland 2 - Manchester United 1

Is that all they got?
photo by Phillie Casablanca	via PhotoRee

Unlike Sir Alex and Sir Bobby, we had to find ways to keep ourselves amused last night watching the very latest drab display of football from Manchester United.  So, to match the modicum of effort put out by the players in a 2-1 loss to bottom-of-the-table Sunderland, we condensed our usual player reviews to only one word per each half played, viz:

De Gea: Beaten and Spotted. 5.0

Rafael: Useful but Mouthy. 4.5

Vidic: Upset and Heady. 5.5

Evans: Blocked and Covered. 5.0

Evra: Hand-y and Unimpressive. 4.5

Valencia: Missing and Predictable. 4.0

Carrick: Deep and Puzzling. 4.5

Cleverley: Useless and Again. 2.0

Giggs: Offside and Fading. 4.0

The Winter of Our Discontent: Five Thoughts on Manchester United 1 - Swansea City 1

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As the calendar turned to the Winter season, Manchester United traveled to Wales yesterday to see if they were able to reclaim the three points lost with Manchester City's late, dramatic win at Eastlands on Saturday.  Here are five things we saw that may have made the difference in a frustrating draw that saw the lead at the top shaved to four points:

In Tom We Trust...: It appears that young Tom Cleverley has earned the Gaffer's trust enough to nail down a semi-regular spot in an extremely unsettled United midfield. True, the likes of Anderson, Nani and Kagawa are all still out injured, and their return will complicate Sir Alex's task, but for now the young Englishman appears the Manager's choice to pair with Michael Carrick in midfield -- although he was unable to inject much dynamism into the match at the Liberty on Sunday.

For a Team that Used to Suck at Corners...: ...as recently as a season ago, United have dramatically improved their scoring capability on set plays. It could be the quality of the corners -- RVP vs. Nani, 'nuff said -- or the fact that so many United players appear capable of scoring this season -- stand up, Patrice Evra! -- or that they were playing against Swansea on Sunday -- a team that has conceded 12 times off corners to date this year -- but it should have come as no surprise that the first time the ball ruffled the back of the net came off a Manchester United corner kick.

Michu...!: Nor should anyone have been shocked when the Swansea midfielder (forward?)  leveled the score from directly in front of Big Dave's net. The Spaniard is in the form of his life this season, and was perfectly positioned to tap in the equalizer. That's where the biggest goal scorers almost always are: right time, right place....

Opportunity Knocked in the Second Half...: ...but no one was home -- likely because the game was played away from home for Manchester United.  We can't remember a game in which the visitors spurned so many one-on-one opportunities, with Wayne Rooney and Robin Van Persie equally guilty in sending the final final pass awry or taking one too many touches to sustain the offensive advantage.  A sharper United could have (should have?) had a two or three goal advantage heading into the final 30 minutes. Instead, the away fans were left slowly simmering, wondering what might have been....

Five Thoughts We Had While Watching Manchester United 3 - Sunderland 1

Photo by WoodleyWonderWorks on Flickr

Buzzing: Old Trafford was buzzing like a bee yesterday. As the club enters a December holiday period glutted with games, there was the very real sense -- palpable even on television from across the Atlantic Ocean -- that we are entering a most important time of the year. The season will be made or broken over the next few weeks, and given City's deserved victory over Newcastle in the early Saturday kickoff, United needed to out the pedal to the metal. So would they?

Rampaging: The Reds overwhelmed Sunderland in the game's early going, with Ashley Young, Tom Cleverley and Antonio Valencia gutting the Mackem defense like a fish. After weeks of frustrating the fans, Young has been a revelation the last two games: he's been pacy and incisive.  And Cleverley is beginning to make the central midfield position his own -- playing with boundless energy and determination.  He's adding goals to his game, too, which is a massive bonus.

Assisting: Not only is he scoring, he's adding assists to his game. Who? Robin Van Persie, of course. Some strikers do nothing but shoot -- Daniel Sturridge, we're talking 'bout you! -- while others appear selfish almost to a fault. Van Persie strikes the perfect balance -- up near the very top of the League scorers' table, but also setting the table repeatedly for others --Wayne Rooney first and foremost.  RVP is sharp as a razor right now, and if he can keep injury free this season you've got to believe the Reds are the odds-on-favorites to be lifting the BPL trophy come May.

Wingless: Manchester United 3 - Newcastle United 0

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Manchester United traveled to the northeast of England in search of vengeance for the 3-nil hiding the visitors received the last time they played yesterday's opponent at the venerable St. James Park. Sir Alex sought to stir the pot by returning David De Gea to goal against Newcastle United, and playing an extremely attacking lineup in front of him, one that featured exactly zero natural wingers but did include Robin Van Persie, Wayne Rooney, Danny Welbeck, Shinji Kagawa and Tom Cleverley. 

Contrary to the wish of many, however, the Scot stuck with Patrice Evra at right back, complementing him in defense with Rio Ferdinand, Jonny Evans and Rafael.  Michael Carrick once again lined up deeply to begin the game, attempting to control the tempo of the game and keep the United back four from being overrun by a marauding Geordie lineup that included the red hot Demba Ba, the newly rejuvenated Papis Cisse, Hatem Ben Arfa, Cheik Tiote and Yohan Cabaye, among others.

United began the game in penetrating form, but Danny Welbeck scuffed an early opportunity for the away side, while RVP's initial attempt was turned away by the Newcastle 'keeper Steve Harper.  Inside of eight minutes, though, Jonny Evans outleapt all other comers to turn a United corner kick into a deserved 1-nil lead.

Danny Welbeck generously contrived to miss a gift from Harper on a giveaway inside the box, the goal agape and RVP lurking dangerously alone in front of net, and the opportunity for a quick 2-nil lead went begging.  When Rooney was denied on a free kick, however, the disappointment was short-lived. Proving that he can score goals, as well, the beleaguered United Captain Patrice Evra doubled the visitors' lead on 15 minutes when he scored the afternoon's second goal by a defensive player.

Newcastle found their sea legs 20 minutes too late, urged on by the home crowd and turning the game into a contest at long last.  Challenges turned feisty as both teams got stuck in, the fouls and the play hot and heavy, and Referee Howard Webb was forced to go repeatedly to his pocket for a card matching the color of his bright yellow shirt.  By half time it was Newcastle giving as good as they were getting, and the Reds could hardly be comfortable despite the two goal advantage.

The Return: Manchester United 2 - Newcastle United 1

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It was a young and inexperienced Manchester United side that welcomed Newcastle to Old Trafford for the Capitol One Cup on Wednesday night, albeit one significantly buttressed by the return of forward and team talisman Wayne Rooney, as well as heavyweight Brazilian midfielder Anderson. For their part, the visitors featured a young side as well, one that included ex-United man Gabriel Obertan among others. On a night featuring several notable returns, however, none was more celebrated than Darren Fletcher's inclusion in the United starting lineup after a ten month absence for health reasons. And so it was in a rather spirited mood that the game's kick off was greeted despite the fair number of empty seats which oversaw the players on the pitch below.

If the game began in spirited style, once the action was underway things quickly became rather more subdued. Anderson had the home side's best opportunity in the contest's opening twenty minutes but somehow contrived to miss his opportunity, as if to remind the Old Trafford crowd that he was still in need of regular games to shake off any rust resulting from his long-term layoff. For their part, the visitors' first half attacking efforts were led by Shola Ameobi, with Alan Pardew's decision to omit both Demba Ba and Papiss Cisse from the starting lineup in advance of the weekend's League contest telling you all you really needed to know about the Magpies' true commitment to the League Cup.

Tom Cleverly should certainly have scored prior to the break after Javier Hernandez single-handedly carved his way through the Newcastle defense with a scything run, but the Englishman's shot fell inches wide of its intended target. If Cleverley's effort was close, Anderson did him one better just a few minutes later, curling his effort In between the Newcastle keeper's outstretched arm and the post to give the home side a deserved 1-nil advantage heading into the break.  Watching from the Directors' Box, Sir Alex would have been pleased not only with his team's lead, but even more so with the tempo control that his midfield trio of Fletcher, Anderson and Cleverley managed to impose on the evening's affair.

The Incredible Shrinking League

Columnist Ed and his smaller friends like to taunt McDonalds
photo by david_shankbone	via PhotoRee

 

Despite what he says, Columnist Ed is not 5 foot nine:

 

Five feet nine inches is an imaginary height for men.  The only men that are five foot nine are those that claim they are five foot ten.  Everyone else who makes the claim is five foot seven on a good day.  With lifts.  And big hair.

Which brings us to Eden Hazard, Tom Cleverley, Shinji Kagawa, Joe Allen, and Santi Carzola.  None of these guys are five nine, although a few claim to be.  Some are about five six.  And a few of them can fit in your girlfriend's large Prada knockoff handbag.  “Com'ere Shinji...jump right in here...that's it, Santi...yep....good boy....”

But oh how they play!!  Short passes, brilliant footwork, elegant finishes.  They're going this way, then that, then back altogether, then the ball is . . . . gone....

Whoops, it's back!!  I hardly knew it was gone and he's got it again, but wait, now it's gone again!!Amazing!!!!!

This is the new face of the BPL.  The days of guys like Vinny Jones and of direct English football have become a novelty item, found only in ancient towns like Stoke City.  I mean, I admire what Stoke does -- very counter revolutionary, very old school, very vintage.  Tony Pulis might even consider dressing up like Elvis during games.  Couldn't hurt, right?  Well, let's put a pin in it, as the young people used to say about three or four text messages ago.

Looking back one might suggest that the new BPL all started with David Silva.  But of course, he wasn't really the start. The real start was Barcelona.

“We want to be like Barcelona,” said Liverpool's Jose Enrique yesterday, rather bluntly.  But Jose means it, especially after watching his manager's former team beat the mighty Citizens into submission last year, possessing the ball over sixty percent of the time with a line up that consisted largely of guys who used to work at the Petrol and Zip off the M-180 near Scunthorpe. 

Like it or not, the BMC's (Big Money Clubs) in the BPL all want to be like Barcelona, because if you're like Barcelona you win and win and win some more.  As Manchester City's Sheikh Mansour bin Zayed Al Nahyan might say: “It's not fun to spend Three Hundred Million Pounds and then watch the guys you just bought for Three Hundred Million Pounds chase the ball around the pitch like a bunch of drunk Florida hillbillies trying to swat flies with rusty cans of paint.” 

Or if you're still not convinced, just look to that cheek-pincher Jose Mourinho.  You know, the guy that just paid Thirty Three Million Pounds for a tiny Croatian that ballerina'd his way through Spain (a/k/a Barcelona Light) in the Euro's.

One Bridge Crossed: Manchester United 2 - Ajax 0

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Sir Alex and the boys traveled to the city of bridges, Amsterdam, for a Thursday night Europa League clash against Ajax FC. While not the Champions League by any stretch of the imagination, at least the thought of playing a world famous European opponent gave United fans some small sense of satisfaction -- and the thought of heading to a city full of hashish dens and red light sex shops probably didn't hurt the attraction for the traveling fans, either.

Regardless, the most exciting news coming out of the United camp pre-game was the midfield pairing of Michael Carrick and the returning Tom Cleverley. Injured since November, Cleverley has in his absence become a savior of sorts, the answer for whatever ails the club -- in fact, United's lack of advancement into the Champions League knockout stages would clearly have been different "if only Cleverley had been available," or something like that. Off to see if the reality would come even close to living up to the hype, farlieonfootie's crack team of reporters invaded Amsterdam to turn in this report:

It's a new anthem and unfamiliar teams in the pre-game highlights, but the packed stands full of 50,000 enthusiastic home supporters seem to care little, as they experience the joy of a mid-week European clash -- Manchester United's first such match outside of the Champions League since 1995.

The contest began cagily enough, both clubs longstanding veterans of the conservative approach required to succeed in pan-European football.  As the clock ticked toward 15 minutes, though, the game began to open up ever so slightly, with the home side seemingly the primary beneficiary of the increasing amounts of open space showing on the green grass of the Amsterdam Arena pitch.

Both teams battled for supremacy in the middle third, and the lack of substantive penetration of the final third on either end was primarily due to the teams' conservative opening gambits rather than a lack of accurate passing or strategic indecision.

Javier Hernandez gave the hosts something to think about as he was slipped behind the Dutch defense, but Ajax 'keeper Kenneth Vermeer was alert to the danger and responded well by smothering the ball before the Mexican could inflict any further damage. For their part, Ajax seemed content holding the ball, as if possession alone could guarantee them a result, while lacking the true cut and thrust shown by United, even if the end result was the same. The hosts did finally call on United 'keeper David De Gea as the clock hit the half hour mark, although the embattled Spaniard's full stretch more than covered the open net behind him.

The vaunted Cleverley effect was little noticed by the interval, which ended on a small note of controversy as Ajax pleaded for a non-existent foul just outside of the box.  That their pleas were correctly waved off by Italian referee Gianluca Rocchi was confirmed by television video evidence as the two teams trotted off the pitch.

A track meet broke out to begin the second half, as if the coaches' halftime instructions included a change to the two teams' pay structure, with new compensation measured in terms of a taxi cab, payable according to the number of miles traveled. The feeling of a goal grew near, with United laying siege to the hosts' goalmouth, but it wasn't until Ashley Young poked home a misdirected cross near the hour mark that the seal was finally broken and the visitors took a deserved 1-nil lead.