Pinch This

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Ed is back, and even Pep Guardiola can not escape his withering glare:

 

WTF with Pep avoiding the Timbers coach after the MLS All-Star game on Wednesday night and refusing to shake his hand?  The coach isn’t out there tackling people, the players are.  And is it a surprise that MLS players after being summarily rejected by their European counterparts have a bit of an inferiority complex and want to come out strong against Bayern?  I always thought Pep was the good guy in the Bizarro World run-ins with the Special One (the face pinching incident is particularly repulsive and mind-blowing reminder of how European soccer coaches can behave) but now I’m beginning to wonder.  Especially after his “we will prepare more next year” comments, as is the MLS all-stars have been sequestered at a compound reviewing tapes and preparing sets for the All Star Game.  What it does scream, in no uncertain terms, is “Sour Grapes!”  Here’s the deal, Pep:  you lost 2 - 1 against a team that was better than you yesterday – partly because they were in full season form, partly because they gave more of a damn about the game, partly because some of those guys are good**, and partly because neither Ribery nor Robben were playing. 

 

Plus, losing this game might actually be a good thing for you to do.  Remember Pep, America is an ATM for clubs like yours as many of the GM’s in Europe have attested to.  But can you really be surprised or outraged at two tough tackles?  When your club took the substantial jingle to come here it did so with the knowledge that it would have to play a competitive soccer game, too – see the last ten or so years of this game – and that it wouldn’t be a mere roll-over for your players to waive their hands and walk away with a 5-0 victory.  Playing the part of the petulant child who turns his back to an MLS coach doesn’t go over well in the GDUS of A.  If you want to get into it with the other coach, we expect you to go all Jim Harbaugh on him, not to just present your back or pinch the assistant coaches face.  We are honestly so shocked at that kind of wimpy adolescent behavior that we usually respond with bewilderment rather than anger.  Losing sucks, we all know that, but you ought to get used to it because the USA is starting to wake up to soccer in the same way it did for the Olympics, and I think you know what happened there.

Ricky Van Wolfswinkel and the Champions League Semis

Ed finds that honky-tonk piano music inspires his creativity
photo by Epiclectic	via PhotoRee

 

Ed dishes on Pep, Bayern Chelsea, Atletico, and even Ricky:

 

Pep Guardiola may not have won the Champions League this year, but I think the hysteria regarding his possession based system and his being "outcoached" is comical.  Bayern won the Bundesliga in record time.  They've also made it to the final of the German Cup.  And to top it off, Bayern made the final four in the Champions League.  Pep is not exactly a Spanish David Moyes.

 

I did find something interesting -- the possession style was undone first by Atletico Madrid against Barcelona and then later by Carlo Ancelotti and his suspended left eybrow playing the part of the copycat.  Both teams used the 4-4-2, and both teams countered with aggression and purpose.

 

In the case of Madrid, Bale and Ronaldo did the damage.  And let's not kid ourselves -- these are the best left/right combination in modern football, and arguably ever.  Bale is simply built for the counter, leaving defenses with pressing outside backs extremely vulnerable on both sides of the pitch.  You simply cannot double or triple both of them, and to take your defenders out of the attack makes it difficult to have any width going forward.  I wonder where Real came up with this idea?  Oh, that's right, it was from Bayern Munich!   Playing the role of Ribery on the left is Ronaldo, and playing the role of Robben on the right is Bale.

 

So what did happen to Bayern?  I think the answer is simple -- Ribery hurt his buttocks and didn't return to form on time.  This allowed Real to triple cover Robben and to worry little about the Frenchman.  I think the American commentators to the game got it all wrong when they said Robben was the guy that really carried the team.  Robben was forced in this case to carry the team -- which he couldn't do -- because the guy that used to carry the team wasn't ready to go at all in the first game and was merely an echo of himself in the second.

 

Regardless, I don't shed any tears for Bayern.  While I like former Spurs' Modric and Bale (how about that, two guys on Real going for it all!), I have no patience for Pepe and his painful brand of petulance, flopping, and feigning injury to delay games.  I also never like the trophy squasher Ramos and his enormous ego.  But hey, Real is looking, well, real.

The David Moyes Experiment: Bayern Munich 3 - Manchester United 1

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The David Moyes experiment rolled on, lowering expectations across the globe, and convincing a vast majority of Manchester United fans that having 20 percent of the ball and only the barest of opportunities to score with it somehow showed progress in a season full of reverses.  Its chief adherent seemingly believing in minimalist football as the way forward, Moyes managed to pull the wool over the eyes of a large number of United supporters, many of whom now appear content to blame the players for their repeated failures and vastly reduced horizons -- a world where "trying" is the moral equivalent of winning, and a game in which opponents are hoped to be "contained" rather than nails to be hammered down.

The latest chapter in the experiment saw United fans flush with success at a 0-0 halftime draw, on the heels of a 1-1 draw at Old Trafford eight nights ago, even though their team had only recorded a single shot taken in anger on the opposition goal in their latest endeavor.  Pulses were further raised when Patrice Evra lasered an unstoppable shot into the upper corner of the goal to hand his side a 1-0 lead on the evening, 2-1 on aggregate -- a lead that lasted a bare 23 seconds before Mario Mandzukic, playing Lucy to Moyes' Charlie Brown, snatched the ball and the lead with a stunningly quick equalizer.  Not content to sit on their goal, Bayern added two more in relatively quick succession, as the United end was swarmed by the home side in the contest's last half hour.  Not wanting to appear rattled, Moyes waited until the game's 75th minute to work his Plan B, bringing on Chicharito and later young Adnan Januzaj, the latter after Bayern had put the contest's final result beyond any doubt.

If the Moyes' experiement is ended soon, he can be satisfied he went down being loyal to those who got him here: an injured Wayne Rooney being Exhibit A.  Clearly showing the effects of a recent layoff and a painkiller shot in his foot, the Englishman was a ghost of his best self tonight, squandering some of the few half-opportunities his side were able to scratch out.  Yet he remained on the pitch, limp aside, for the full 90 minutes, as both Darren Fletcher and a pacy Danny Welbeck were sacrificed.

While many are quick to criticize the players, and some of them rightfully so, it is this author's belief that the effort put forth tonight is the best the manager is capable of coaxing out of his squad -- a group of people who -- unlike many sheep-ish fans -- largely stopped  believing in him a long time ago.  And without a head a body is -- what?  A corpse.

It's time to face facts: 7th in the League, and out of all competitions in record time.  The man is just not good enough for this team.  David Moyes needs to go, and the sooner the better, so the club can begin to rebuild after the appalling disaster in which this experiment has resulted.

A Parting Gift? Manchester United 1 - Bayern Munich 1: Game Recap and Player Ratings

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Defying the critics at home and abroad, Manchester United played a rope-a-dope first half before showing more of their teeth after the break in a 1-1 Champions League draw at Old Trafford Wednesday night.  Fully embracing what could be the club's last European contest for quite some time, the hosts withstood a brutal frontal assault from their German visitors in the first half, with the Munich holding nearly 80% of the possession prior to the interval.  Nevertheless, it was the home side in the form of Danny Welbeck who missed the best chance of the half to go in front prior to the halftime whistle.

 

After the break was a completely different story, with both teams taking turns attacking the others' goal, and real chances were created at both ends.  United Captain Nemanja Vidic was the first to find the net, with his unmarked header gifting his club an unexpected 1-0 lead.  As should have been expected, however, Bayern fought back to tie the contest through a finely worked play that ended with Bastian Schweinsteiger putting the ball into David De Gea's goal. 

 

Although neither side will be disappointed with the outcome, in general the Germans will be pleased to have scored their away goal, a tally which leaves United needing to score on their trip to the Allianz Arena in a little over a week's time.  The surly nature of the contest was underscored by the  high number of rough tackles, yellow cards and a final red for the Bayern goalscorer, which will mark him as ineligible for the return leg.

 

Herewith, the individual player ratings from a spirited night at Old Trafford:

 

De Gea: Pinpoint clearance and a fine save to deny Ribery before the break.  7.5

Jones: Filled in at right back and was there when he needed to be. 7.5

Ferdinand: Was right in the mix tonight.  Looked like the old days.  7.5

Vidic: Looked nervy at the outset but gradually settled. He may have been unguarded, but it was still a clutch header from a very tough position to give his side the second half lead. 8.0 

Büttner: Appeared overmatched right from the get go, but gradually settled down and played his way into the match. Should be renamed Hoofner. 7.0

Valencia: Early yellow and lucky to stay on the pitch after a bone crunching second half tackle. Moved to right back to accommodate Ashley Young with 15 minutes left. 7.0

Carrick: Decent distribution when he was able to touch the ball. Forced to stay way back for most of the night. 7.0

Fellaini: Just not good enough to play in a holding role. Gifted the ball repeatedly to the visitors and lost his man for the Bayern equalizer. 6.0

Seeing is Believing

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The tremors from the Champions League match between Manchester City and Bayern Munich should still be felt throughout the football world.  The question continues to arise as to whether this was tactics or talent.  The answer, of course, is both.

Pep Guardiola is changing the course of football history by changing the game.  This is unlike the self-proclaimed Special One who is effective but never works outside of the box.  In the City game, Pep did what he used to do at Barca and flooded the midfield with his 4-1-4-1.  There was simply no room for City's midfield triangle in their 4-2-3-1 (though to be fair, City really had 2 at the top as Aguero rarely tracked back to help on Lahm).  But it wasn't merely formation, it was the suffocating tracking and pack hunting of Bayern.  When a City player go the ball on the outside he was immediately pressured and every one of his outlets was marked tightly.  The only ball would have to be a perfect ball or a dangerous cross field long ball.  But there was no time for either.

It has been reported by players like Cesc Fabregas that Barca works much harder in training than he expected.  And all the talk of the system.  But as pointed out well in the Guardian by Gary Neville (the former United player is, I believe, one of the best tactical commentators out there, as well as very entertaining broadcaster), it's also largely hard work.  That is, Pep demands intense pressure and tracking in addition to intelligent marking of outlets.  And it would seem his offense anticipates that the same will happen to him, so he floods the midfield with triangles and outlets.  Four players is not enough -- Lahm is behind the midfielders as well as the defenders to allow for even more ways out of trouble.

Bayern has a dramatically different style and set of players than Barca.  Muller, Schweinsteiger, Ribery, Robben -- none of these players have ready counterparts at Barca.  Indeed, people questioned whether his system was workable with this style of player or whether he would have to adapt and bring in smaller, quicker players.  All of this would take time -- the time that David Moyes seems to be begging for these days.  But instead, Bayern quickly adopted to the new style and has done so emphatically.  They embarrassed City with possession, at times passing it through the City midfield without purpose as if to taunt them.

I remain constantly shocked that there are fewer copycats of Pep.  I expected the same of Liverpool from Brendan Rodgers.  His prior team, Swansea, played a similar possession game though with less of the defensive pressure.  And they did so to great effect with marginal talent at best.   But now at Liverpool his teams look similar to almost all BPL teams, playing with much more directness and relying on Gerrard cross field passes as well as the speed and intensity of Suarez and Sturridge.

The End of Tiki Taka

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Ed is back with some thoughts on the supposed "end" of Barcelona's reign: 

Journalists have been hitting the “Spain is Done and Germany Has Taken Over” narrative pretty hard the last few days after the all-German final which followed Bayern’s drubbing of Barca in the semis.  But is this really the end of tiki taka?  Or are these journalists just kind of hoping it’s the end?  Unfortunately, I think it’s more of the latter than the former.  Let’s face it, it’s not fun to watch your team play Barca and have the ball only about 20 minutes during a game if they’re lucky.

Here are the facts:

Barca, and not all of Spain, is pretty much the only team that plays the tiki taka.  Real Madrid doesn’t play it – and plays much more of the Bayern style with fast wingers and fast break football.  Ironically, in the second leg of the semi’s against Dortmund they reverted more to that style when they leaned on Luka Modric, and this was really the only time they had substantial success against the Germans.

As for Barca, they didn’t exactly have a bad season this year.  Their goal differential in La Liga was +80 (second only to Bayern’s) and they won the league.  Plus they came in fourth in the Champions League, after reaching the finals last year and dominating though ultimately losing against “Park The Bus” Chelsea, and after dominating Manchester United the year before at Wembley.  This with lots of injuries, a new coach, and the loss of the best player in the world for the semi-finals.  I think, therefore, it’s a bit early to pronounce them dead.

It's Gonna Be a Long, Hot Summer

Ed Couldn't Write This Week Because His Vehicle Broke Down
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It's Sunday of a holiday weekend and Correspondent Ed's gone missing again -- so it's back to the slave quarters to churn out some more drivel for the masses.  At least we hope Ed is enjoying himself....

Regular readers of this blog will remember that we traditionally head into a more relaxed publishing schedule as we go into football's "off-season."  Sure, we could cover every one of the hot transfer rumors out there, or report on Barcelona signing yet another much-hped, bad-haired starlet, or even discuss Manchester City and Chelsea's money-grabbing American tour, but we prefer to focus on keeping it real, giving our readers some inspired, slightly off-beat coverage of the happenings in world football, and throwing in a beer review every few days or so.  So if you don't see a new post each day, don't stress: we'll be back publishing regularly when the football heats up.

As a parting gift, here are a few thoughts on Bayern Munich's pulse pounding 2-1 victory over Borussia Dortmund in the Champions league final yesterday, a game played at the New Wembley Stadium in London, England:  

o The newspaper articles are full of praise for the players on both sides, and for the men from Bavaria in particular, especially one Arjen Robben.  But let's be honest: Bayern should have been playing the final 20 minutes of the match with 10 men -- and possibly nine.  The evening's referee was correct to give a spot kick for Dante's kick in the box -- but his reluctance to show yellow for the same infraction is a bit curious.  A second yellow would have shown the stadium Dante's backside during a long walk to the tunnel, and was clearly deserved.  We can't help but wonder what the final score would have been in that scenario.  

o Contrary to many reports, with Bayern fielding both Arjen Robben and Frank Ribery at the same time, an entirely new generation was turned off from German football.  Talk about despicable characters....

Things That Sound Good But Aren't

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Like Ed's thoughts today, for starters:

I'm excited that Borussia Dortmund is in the Champions League finals. I've always enjoyed their attacking style of play, their talented midfielders, and of course Robert Lewandoski. I'm also a fan because I know they're not a big budget team like Manchester United -- just to throw out a name -- a team who last year bought one of their players and if rumors are correct tried to buy two. Bummer to be Shinji Kagawa at this point I guess.

I'm also pleased for Bayern Munich, not so much because I'm a fan, but more because they fought so hard for it and are (regardless of outcome) the best team in Europe this year. The way they pressed high but backed off once beaten, the way they played a physical man-to-man defense on Xavi and Iniesta, they way they countered fast with width -- none of this was that new, but I expect everyone to do it against against the diminutive Spaniards now that we know it works. Plus Bayern were probably unjustly robbed last year when they lost to an inferior Chelsea squad who played above their ability throughout the tournament. I also remember Bayern beating up Manchester City in the group stage. At the time I thought City was weaker than I thought; now I think it was Bayern that was tougher than I thought.

But yet, but yet, despite all of this I'm not that excited about the final. These two teams know each other very well and play each other often. Advantage Bayern, therefore, even though Dortmund has gotten the better of them in the past. Plus, it would seem this battle has already been decided in the Bundesliga (I could say that over and over even though I don't like watching it much) over a 38 game season. Playing it again, even if for a different trophy, just doesn't seem right.

* * *

Wow, was that really Barcelona that Bayern played the other night? I've never seen that team look so positively meek. Some time ago I wrote an article questioning whether it was personnel or tactics that made Barca so good. Well, Barca without Messi and several others looked so very ordinary, it would seem an argument in favor of personnel. That said, their coach missed much of the season, and the team also looked sloppy tactically or at least positionally. Either way, I'm still shocked that Bayern put them out of the tournament 7 to 0. They lost their will and their pride. And now Bayern has their old coach? Egads!

Bundes-bludgeoned: Bayern Munich 4 - Barcelona 0

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Ed weighs in on a very bad day at the office for Barcelona:

Well, now we know the difference between the World Cup teams and the club teams.  Barcelona with a weakened Messi really looked a lot like the Spanish national team would have looked against Bayern Munich.  Possession, possession, possession; great passing and great control.  But pretty much no threats on Bayern's goal.

Bayern pressed all game, and they did so aggressively.  Javi Martinez blanketed Andres Iniesta and roughed him up all night, forcing him to play backwards and sideways.  The same was done to Xavi, who had no time to look up and peruse the field.  And without Lionel Messi able to charge at the defense, Barca was pretty much bludgeoned out of the Champions League barring a miracle at the Nou Camp.

After a first half which saw Bayern threaten, it was odd that Barcelona didn't try something different.  The Blaugrana could have been down by more at the time -- a clear and obvious hand ball by Pique was somehow missed.  I am constantly wondering exactly what the back judge is doing in these instances.  The hand ball was so obvious and intentional to block a shot aimed at the corner that the proper call could have been a sending off.  Regardless, Barca survived but didn't adjust, and so suffered the same fate in the second half as the first, only worse as they pressed and tired.

To be fair, Bayern also had one or two goals allowed that shouldn't have been.  Arjen Robben's goal was benefited by a Thomas Muller pick -- a play legal in hoops but called obstruction in soccer.  Again, what was the back judge looking at there? Or the head referee in this case.  Not even a close call.  The Mario Gomez goal was also offsides, but not by much so missing it was defensible.

Laughing Stock: Bayern Munich 3 - Arsenal 1

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o Did Gus Johnson just say on FOX that the teams were "feeling each other up" at the outset of the match?  I thought this was supposed to be family friendly entertainment.

o Manuel Neuer was awarded a free kick for falling over on his own accord.

o Bayern: 1 shot, 1 goal. That didn't take long.

o Theo Walcott's pace is bothering Bayern; then again, Walcott's pace bothers most teams. He's significantly picked up his game this year.

o 20 minutes in, two goals down. Time to admit I was wrong about Arsenal pulling off a surprise result tonight....

o Arsenal couldn't defend a corner if Arsene Wenger's job depended on it. Wait -- it does depend on it...?!

o Gus Johnson just turned Phillip Lahm into a Frenchman. Phillipe, I believe he called him.  Someone please stop this broadcasting farce.

o Apparently, what attracted FOX to Johnson is that he excels at repeatedly saying players names and stating the obvious. Except when he mispronounces names as in Lahm's case; in that event, he only excels at pointing out the obvious.

o Serious question: Which is funnier tonight?  FOX's announcing or Arsenal's defending?

Blue Man Group: Chelsea 1 - Bayern Munich 1 (4-3 Extra Time)

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I'm still trying to work out exactly what Chelsea's stunning penalty kick victory over Bayern Munich in the Champions League Finals on Saturday means.  I won't solve all of the world's problems in this column, but I have come up with the following conclusions:

o Roberto Di Matteo deserves and will likely get the Head Coaching job at Chelsea.  I know Roman loves big names, but he also had a fetish about the Cup.  Now that RDM has won it for him -- forget about the FA Cup, that was a nice extra that doesn't count for much in the World According to Roman -- I don't see how the Russian oligarch could turn his back on the Italian.  Di Matteo did a masterful job of reversing the psychological damage inflicted on the club by the disastrous appointment of Andre Villas-Boas, and turning the Blues' entire season around.  His appointment may have come too late to save Chelsea from a 6th place finish in the League, but with the victory on Saturday, even that sin has been overcome -- Chelsea are back in the Champions League next season. 

o Didier Drogba just placed his name front and center on the Chelsea Legend list.  Overlooked and underappreciated at the season's start, the big Ivorian topped all of his accomplishments with the 88th minute header that changed the course of a Bayern Munich victory, stunning the opponent and the heavily home-team-oriented crowd, and switching the game's momentum inexorably and irreversibly in the visitors' favor.  The fact that Drogba also gave away a penalty that led to Arjen Robben's failed attempt to win the game, and then scored the fourth and final penalty to win it outright only seals my belief: this game -- nay, this Championship -- was all about The Drog.

o Yesterday's result was very harsh on Spurs.  After being denied entry into next year's Champions League tournament by Chelsea's victory, Spurs fans know the feeling felt by fans of Manchester United the weekend prior: you cannot put yourself in a position where you need to rely on the result of another team.  In the end, much like United again, Spurs have no one to blame but themselves.  The late draw against Villa -- a team that narrowly escaped relegation, and only because they ran out of games -- was an absolute killer, the kind that could see name-brand Tottenham stars such as Luka Modric and Gareth Bale head for the exits.  Uncle Harry, after being passed over for the England job, will see his vaunted man management skills tested to the max this Summer while trying to keep his team together.

Shootout at the Bernabeu: Bayern Munich 2 (3) - Real Madrid 2 PK

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Columnist Scott offers a final word or two on his second favorite team's late departure from the Champions League on Wednesday night:

As the goalies get better, advancing technology allows in-depth study of opposing players' tendencies, and rules have evolved allowing lateral ‘keeper movement prior to the kick, penalty kicks are far from the given goal we grew up believing.  Even more difficult is conversion when the pressurized glare of a Champions League semi-final is blinding your eyes and threatening tachycardia.

Admittedly, I did not get to see the majority of the Real Madrid - Bayern Munich second leg game. But I did catch the last 20 minutes of extra time, during which I saw Real Madrid pressing relentlessly and creating the better of the chances, with only Gonzalo Higuain's slightly ill-timed touch wasting a near sure goal created by Marcelo's sublime 3/4-field dribble then pass. It should be noted, however, that my observation is notwithstanding a clearly unbiased impression to the contrary, of all the action prior, by a certain burly Bayern Munich fan in my acquaintance.

As a result, I'll leave the regular and extra time commentary to others and, instead, focus briefly on one of the most thrilling, if disheartening, penalty shootouts I've ever witnessed.  All the elements were there: world class field players, world class goalies, Champions League Final on the line, dramatic saves, all hope lost, hope restored, crushing miss and, finally, emphatic closure.

Just before the expiration of extra time, Ronaldo is seen to confidently motion to himself, clearly an indication that he will take the first kick. So, after David Alaba scores first for Bayern, I watch with anticipation as one of the best players in the world, indeed the 2008 FIFA World Player of the Year, will surely put Los Blancos on level terms.  But Manuel Neuer is of another mind, getting down quickly to his right to block the Portuguese’s hard-hit but too-centered shot.  Ronaldo had made 26 of 27 penalty kicks for Real Madrid before this effort.  Confidence erodes to mere hope.

The Final Four

Columnist Ed, with some thoughts on the Champions League Final Four:

The best league in Europe -- the one that doesn't feature either Manchester A or Manchester B -- is down to the final four.  And as all readers of this site know, Bayern took down Real Madrid in the first leg of their series last night in Munich by the score of 2 to 1.  Here are my thoughts.

-- Gomez is much better than I realized.  I never thought much of him, as I beleived it was Ribery and Robben that do most of the work for Bayern's offense.  While it is true that they do all of the delivery work, Gomez played with tons of energy Tuesday night, challenging defenders with the ball and bullying his way forward.  He is not necessarily quick, but he is certainly fast.  Plus, he anticipates the hard snap crosses they put into him remarkably well.  He had one goal but could have had three.  I can see now why he has 40 goals.  This was the type of player that Liverpool foolishly believed they were getting when they signed Andy Carroll.  There is still room for the big holder and finisher in modern football.  There aren't too many better than Gomez.

-- Ribery is a fantastic player who gives all he has on the field, but the flopping he did the other night was shameful.  He certainly fooled Howard Webb on a more than one occassion, and his flop in the penalty area should have been carded.  Ribery's behavior screams for post game yellow cards or fines.  When will this happen?  Some day please?

--  Ronaldo was also no stranger to the flop.  Ronaldo, I think, is used to being the Michael Jordan of his league, and getting the call any time anyone touches him.  Last night he was treated by Webb in the same way as a reserve teamer on Wolves.  Shoving is a part of the game also, Ronaldo.  Remember the BPL?  While Barcelona brings an elegance to the game that is unparalleled, there is also a diva quality to their game and it's found, as well, in Ronaldo -- something that is tough to swallow for an American like me.

-- The Bayern v. Real game was interesting on a tactical front as both teams have very similar styles of play.  Their formations, their conservatism upon scoring, their personnel -- all strikingly similar.  Neither of these teams are like Barca.  This was a battle of traditional tactics between old rivals.  Are these teams the last of this era, and will the possesion game eventually take over? 

The Week In Football

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Columnist Ed with some thoughts on the week that was:

1.  Champions League – Barcelona v. AC Milan:  AC had a chance in this one, just not a good one.  Barcelona’s players are so quick they simply make good teams like AC look incredibly average.  In fact, many of the teams they play seem to panic under the Barcelona defensive pressure.  At some point in the game, AC Milan gained some confidence and started to move it more effectively; however, they still looked a bit clumsy compared to their counterparts.  As for the “talking point” that was the second penalty kick, I think Fox Sports commentator Warren Barton had it at least partly right:  it was a penalty and should be called.  That said, it rarely is so I can sympathize with Milan’s angst.  With respect to all the holding that occurs in the penalty area, it just doesn’t make sense to me how a league that wants more goals doesn’t enforce it more.  A simple tug of the shirt easily keeps someone from getting that step or jumping into the air.  If you enforce it a few times at the beginning of the year, people will get it quick, and conceding corners will be far more dangerous than they are now.  A good thing, I think.

2.     Champions League – Bayern Munich v. Marseille:  Bayern is a considerably better team than Marseille, and showed it in both legs of the tournament.  All the talk this year has been about the two Spanish powers, Real Madrid and Barcelona.  But Bayern is a force, and I think they may be the most likely team to win the Champions League.  Ribery is a force down the wing, and Robben on the other side makes an extremely dangerous pairing.  I would love to see a Barca/Bayern final.  I think only another astonishing performance by Messi – certainly not out of the question – would be enough for Barca to come out on top. 

3.     BPL -- Liverpool:  What’s wrong with Liverpool?  These days, everything.  Though I think my opinion is slightly different than others.  That is, I don’t think it’s all about a lack of talent.  This week’s game is a good example, as are the games they’ve played against top teams.  Liverpool doesn’t get run out of matches, or cede control in matches to the other team.  Instead, it would seem that Liverpool plays most teams at least evenly, and sometimes as in this past weekend’s game, better than the opposition.  That said, they aren’t good at scoring, and they give up more goals then they score pretty routinely.  I think the problem they have was described well in the Guardian Weekly Monday podcast:  they don’t seem to have a plan as a team.  I think you see this especially in midfield, where Charlie Adam seems to have no idea where to go with the ball, and on the wings, where Stuart Downing and Henderson or sometimes Bellamy, seem to be without a thought as to the offensive strategy.  Now this could be the players, but I have this suspicion that if Downing and Adam and Carroll were still on the teams that they came from, they’d be playing much better than they are at Liverpool.  I think no player typifies the team performance more than Luis Suarez.  Lots of good stuff, but seemingly little plan and surprisingly few goals.  King Kenny does, I think, have to answer for this.

Broken

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Correspondent Ed has returned from celebrating Oktoberfest in Munich, during which time he also managed to file this report:

Bayern Munich is a heavy blunt instrument made of steel which has at its front a menacing pike, and that pike is Franck Ribery.  After enduring – or perhaps permitting -- Manchester City to frolic about for the first 15 minutes of their Champions League match on Tuesday at the Allianz Arena in Munchen, the heavy gears of Bayern churned into motion and slowly and cruelly ground one of the EPL’s most feared teams into a wailing and bickering hoard.

Throughout the match, Bayern controlled the center of the pitch, and relentlessly beat back any attacks that came from the seemingly talented front line of City.  While David Silva still shone above the rest, Kun Aguero was a never a factor, routinely flicked aside by the larger and faster defenders of Bayern.   For some time Gareth Barry was able to hold his own, but ultimately his resistance proved futile.  And Ribery controlled the left side of the pitch, beating City’s defenders with quickness and bullying them unmercifully.  In one challenge for a 50/50 ball, City’s Kolo Toure found himself scrambling to find his legs as he stared in shock at the scarred face of his French tormentor. 

Now on Tap: German Fußball

photo by Ivan C	via PhotoRee

Managed to watch yet another Bundesliga game on GolTV the other night. Don't worry, I know what you're thinking: this is sliding dangerously toward an addiction. You're right. My name is farlieonfootie and I've got a problem.  On top of my first love, the EPL, I've already acknowledged a Spanish mistress in the form of La Liga. I don't know where to fit the Germans, but I may have to figure that out sooner rather than later.

Spanning the Globe

I Wonder if the Insurance Policy Covers Excrement?  Turns out the pipe that exploded above the United locker room at the Stadium of $hite wasn't a water pipe, but a sewage pipe.  Hello?  My new Armani suit, ruined?  And you wonder why the United players  seemed distracted for the first half of the game against Sunderland on Saturday?  Poor guys had to play about 10 minutes just to earn enough to buy replacements....

How Much More Does Adam Johnson Need To Do To Earn a Place in City's Starting 11...?  The guys scores his team's only goal in the mid-week Europa League clash against Juve, and then comes on in a 19 minute cameo against Newcastle yesterday to score the winning goal (and, I'm glad to say -- solely for the sake of my Fantasy League Team -- pick up all 3 bonus points for the match).   And this for a team that is not exactly lighting up the scoreboard with goals....  I'm guessing he's going to need to score at least two to three times per game instead of his usual one in order to replace the deadly-boring Gareth Bale or WWF escapee Nigel de Jong. Apparently Roberto Mancini prefers stacking his side with holding mid-fielders than guys who are actually capable of providing offense.

Another Week, Another Broken Leg. Seems par for the course in the EPL this season; I'm beginning to wonder if it's contagious, like the flu.  This past weekend it was Newcastle's Hatem Ben Arfa who sustained a  serious and unfortunate injury. Like Antonio Valencia and Bobby Zamora before him, it looks as if another emerging star has been cruelly cut down just as he was beginning to capture the public's eye. Let's hope the scene with the stretcher is not the last we see of Ben Arfa in the EPL, although there's a good chance it will be as he is currently on just a one-year loan to Newcastle from Ligue 1 side Marseille.

With Friendlies Like This, Who Needs Enemies-lies?  The tackle on Ben Arfa came courtesy of City's Nigel de Jong, and caused an almost five minute stoppage in play to get oxygen and a stretcher onto the pitch and Ben Arfa off it. This is the same Nigel de Jong who tatooed his treadmarks on the chest of Xabi Alonso  during this summmer's World Cup final, and earlier broke American Stu Holden's ankle with a heavy tackle in a pre-World Cup "friendly."  How many more bones does this guy need to break before attracting the referees' attention?  Although City Assistant Coach Brian Kidd apparently saw nothing wrong with de Jong's tackle, I'm glad to report that Dutch Coach Bert van Marwijk did, branding the tackle "wild and unnecessary," and refusing to recall de Jong for this week's Dutch international matches.  Well done, Bert.


photo by The Real Darren Stone	via PhotoRee

What?  No Photos with Hotties in Dirndls?  Bayern Munich's start to the season has been so poor that the team cancelled its annual outing to the city's Oktoberfest and instead handed the players extra training sessions. Lying in 13th place in der Bundesliga, with three losses in seven games, apparently caused panic and sobriety to break out in the capital of Bavaria. I'm glad to report that team management is focused on the root causes of Bayern's poor play and not looking petty or appearing to grope for answers to the team's poor recent play.

Who Played the Part of Emmanuel Adabayor?  Bahrain hosted the country of Togo in a recent international friendly, and won easily, 3-nil.  One possible reason for the Bahraini's semi-famous victory is that  the Togo squad was filled with impostors who ran out of gas in the second half.  Yup, that's right: everyone on the pitch for Togo, from the manager on down, was a fake.  And to think I was unable to come up with a viable reason for Togo's poor play as I watched the match.  Goes to show you that you need to approach this week's coming international matches with a slightly jaundiced eye.  And that's farlieonfootie for October 4th.