Inter-Office Memos: Round 27 in the BPL

photo by Michael Cory	via PhotoRee

Memo to Kenny: Spot kicks are something that Liverpool should work on in practice. A 60% failure rate is nothing to write home about.

Memo to Luis Suarez: One thing Liverpool don't need to work on is diving  -- you've got that one down pat.  But when are Scousers fans worldwide going to wake up and realize the incredible damage you're doing to their reputation...?

Memo to Bolton:  Thanks for trying something new at The Etihad -- taking a first half shot on goal. As for City, they may as well have been sleepwalking through the match, which -- in fact -- several of their players did. Although they beat you easily in the end, and recorded their 19th straight home victory, Saturday was the third game in a row in which the Citizens were never really tested.  It kind of makes you wonder what might happen if the opposition ever manages to score first....

Memo to David Luiz: Your socks were hiked up so high this weekend that it appeared as if you were wearing a pair of tights against West Bromwich Albion.  With the hairdo, you're now only a plié away from the ballet.

Memo to AVB: It doesn't take a genius to see that the Chelsea players completely quit on you -- even Roman spotted this one.   There's very little to no effort coming from many of the men on your team. When the season began there were defensive lapses; now, an offensive malaise has set in, as well. All of this only goes to prove the famous Roman mathematical formula, named after a certain Russian mathematician: No offense + no defense + few wins = no job. It's that simple.

Memo to Fernando Torres:  I wonder what kind of odds you could have received at the beginning of the season on you lasting longer at Chelsea than AVB?


Memo to Mike Dean and Martin Atkinson: After months of whining about the referees, and a couple of them on particular, it's our duty at farlieonfootie to give credit where credit's due. You both had decent games on Sunday, overseeing major clashes.  It took a brave (or foolish, by another word) man to call a first half penalty on Newcastle at home in the Tyne-Weir derby, although the hold in the box by Williamson was clear. Later in the game, Dean was in perfect position to see Stephane Sessignon's backhanded face smash on Ciech Tiote.  Likewise, Atkinson took some major heat from the home fans at Three Point Lane for denying Emanuel Adebayor a first half goal, but on replay it was clear than the man from Togo handled the ball before back-heeling it into the net. Both of you still deserve to be relegated, but on Sunday you got it right -- something we shouldn't have to celebrate.

Memo to Demba Ba: You killed me, buddy. All you had to do for me to win my fantasy week easily was to hit your pen. Instead, you offered up a seriously poor effort. If you're not careful, with form like that you may end up at Liverpool next season.

Memo to Fulham fans: I heard one of those stats the other day that absolutely shocked me.  Other than Spurs, no team in the league has a better record since January 1 than  Fulham. I never would have guessed....

Memo to Clint Dempsey: Could someone please give you some love?  The Brits fall all over themselves to dismiss your talent, because you're "American," but the man from Nagadoches is clearly one of the top midfielders in the BPL this season. Your two goals on Sunday were an exclamation mark on a great week -- and for that you're our Player of the Week.

This is farlieonfootie for March 7.