Cut Adrift: Manchester United 0 - Everton 1 -- Game Recap and Player Ratings

Photo by Madhu Babu Pandi on Flickr

Everton finally overcame Manchester United at Old Trafford and David Moyes was around to see it; unfortunately for the Scot, he viewed it from the home team's bench, as the Toffees out hustled, outplayed, and most importantly outscored the Red Devils in a midweek Barclay's Premier League match on Wednesday night. The result left United 12 points adrift of Arsenal at the top of the table and virtually out of contention for the title after only 14 games -- this occurring in the season immediately after they galloped over the rest of the field and coasted to the wire 11 points ahead of their closest rival.

Marouane Fellaini once again drew the ire of  the home fans, although truth be told the blame could easily have been spread much further -- from the players on the pitch right on down to the entirety of the United coaching staff. Once again, the home side played an especially narrow brand of football, and missing their talisman Robin Van Persie, turned in another listless performance that left the home supporters fit to be tied. 

Herewith, the individual player ratings for what can best be described as a disastrous result for the Red Devils:

De Gea: Denied Kevin Mirallas before the break and creatively used his knees to stop another Everton shot.  Came up big to blank Gerard Deulofeu from point blank range in the second half. Finally beaten with five minutes to go -- not a fair result for the Spaniard, who deserved a better fate. 6.0

Rafael: Appeared more than a bit rusty after his lengthy time off. Failed to impact the game in any material way. 5.0

Smalling: Pulled off a crucial block on a Lukaku cross and denied another shot by the Belgian with his head. Will not be happy with Valencia for putting him under pressure on the late concession. 4.5

Vidic (C): His typical commanding self in the air but was outmuscled on the ground by Lukaku on several occasions before the break. 5.0

Evra: Energetic presence and strong defending on the left. Required a great Howard save to keep him off the scoresheet. 5.5

Valencia: Appeared more reluctant to take on Everton when he had the ball, perhaps because of increased defensive responsibilities. Rash challenge on Seamus Coleman almost led to an Everton goal, and then totally switched off while at right back for Coleman's winning tally. 4.0

Fellaini: On the plus side, he moved the ball quicker and helped out defensively on a number of occasions. On the minus side,  remind us why United paid £27 million for him? The Belgian ould easily have been red carded for his late game challenge on James McCarthy.. 4.5

Freefallin'

In which Columnist Ed channels his inner Tom Petty:

For many years I've been hoping that Manchester United would come back to earth, but I just didn't expect such free fall and to be honest it's not very fun.  One could make the argument that Southampton is better than United this year.  Wait, that's not an argument that's a truth -- at this point in the season Southampton actually IS better than United this year.  Uh oh.

I find the use of Marouane Fellaini to be the most interesting.  Fellaini was not a very effective holder for Everton; he was physical enough but he didn't have the speed or quickness to close people down.  He also lacks the fine passing ability that top holders have.  Compare, for example, Sandro or Paulinho or Dembele or Capoue.  Each of them close down with speed, and with the exception of maybe Sandro -- who is a far better defensive player than Fellaini -- each of them also are better at distribution.

Fellaini did, however, do very well at the number 10 position for Everton.  His size and strength made him tough in the box.  His footwork and leverage were good, and he and Nikica Jelavic made a team that could bully many if not most teams' center backs.  But unfortunately for United, he's inferior by a long stretch to all of their number 10's, which forces him to the holding position, which once again raising the question "Why Fellaini?"  To me there's no way to get around the fact that this was a desperation move by a GM who needed to show that he got something.  Look for them to move him next season.

#    #    #

Spurs returned to form this weekend and saw Roberto Soldado put in his first goal during the run of play.  Soldado played well, though he still hasn't played to the level of his price.  Ultimately Spurs are still a team that lacks a top tier striker.  This will come to haunt them during the season if Soldado comes around.

Panic Stations: Manchester United 1 - Shakhtar Donetsk 1 -- Player Ratings

Photo by Memphis CVB

The visitors rode an 18^th minute poacher’s goal from Danny Welbeck to a 1-1 draw against Shakhtar Donetsk at the Donbas Arena in Champions League action on Wednesday night.  It was a result that manager David Moyes would likely have settled for pre-game, and could become a game to build on for the Reds’ new boss, who will be pleased that his team managed to hold off a late onslaught from the home side.  Although the English champions appeared calm and composed in the first half, a worrying trend re-emerged as a confident performance turned into a bit of panic stations as the game drew toward its nailbiting conclusion.  Once again, the visitors failed to create much in the way of offensive opportunities, but did manage to hold on long enough for a vital point on the road.

Herewith, our take on the individual performances in a gritty road draw:

De Gea: Precious little to do in the first half despite Shakhtar gradually coming into the game after a slow start.  Made a crucial stop on a deflection to deny the home side a late winner. 8.0

Rafael: Less attacking play than usual in the first half.  Got beaten badly near the start of the second half to allow the home side a real chance. 7.0

Smalling: Should’ve put his first half header on target, and rose high on defense when called upon. 7.5

Vidic: Energetic presence in the back who made a crucial second half interception to snuff out a threat.  Drew a professional foul to claim a yellow, and was unlucky that his late game clearance fell straight to Taison. 7.5

Evra:  Appears to be one of the few players this season that relishes going forward at speed. 7.0

Valencia: Worked hard defending but given little room to go forward – and got his feet tripped up over the ball when he did. 6.0

Carrick: Played even deeper than usual, which didn’t help his link up play.  A smart player who held up the ball when he needed to do some work on the defensive side of the match. 6.5

Fellaini:  If he wasn’t busy giving the ball away he was being called for a foul; a horrendous hour of action for the Belgian. 5.0

Ten Questions for Moyes

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We're only three games in, and although not a lot of time to draw strong conclusions, there has been at least enough action to warrant a few questions regarding Manchester United's current campaign:

o When will David Moyes start winning the big games?  Sure, it's nice to get three points on the road at Swansea, but the Manager still does not have a "signature" victory over a top club that will ease up the pressure.  Surely it will come, but when?

o Where is Shinji Kagawa?  Does he fit in David Moyes' plans, or will he remain on the outside looking in?  How do you say "angry and confused" in Japanese?

o Ditto Chicharito.  This guy has got to be worried about getting playing time in a  World Cup year -- providing Mexico can actually qualify for the Big Dance.  Will the Mexican see more playing time going forward, or will he remain the team's fourth striking option -- or worse..?

o Who will Marouane Fellaini knock to the bench?  What does his arrival mean for Tom Cleverley and Anderson?  And are we now saying Darren Fletcher's career is, in fact, over?

The Gang That Couldn't Shoot Straight

 

 

o It's ironic, isn't it?  A summer-long transfer saga that began simmering over Wayne Rooney's disheveled mindframe has boiled over after a frutratingly inept transfer window closed yesterday, leaving many Manchester United fans in the very same state that their number 10 found himself: angry and confused.

 

o When was the last time you heard Manchester United referred to as a "laughing stock?"  We'll bet most fans can't recall that far back -- before yesterday's events reared their ugly head.  The reputation for shrewd business dealings and disciplined, tactical efforts in the transfer window lies in tatters now as the United front office managed to turn the present champions of England into the Gang That Couldn't Shoot Straight in a little over two months time.  We won't go so far as to apportion direct blame -- we'll leave that to others to decide, as things in our experience are never quite as they appear -- but we will say that Messrs. Woodward and Moyes had to expect that their first transfer window would be an event by which their behavior and results would be judged.

o In this blog we will more closely examine the pathetic situation which occurred over the past several weeks, a situation that reached its apogee in a fiasco-laden effort to secure a fax from Real Madrid as the clock ticked menacingly toward 11pm BST -- a fax that ultimately failed to arrive at its destination. [The cheap and easy thing here would be to make an analogy to Ed Woodward's failure to arrive at his destination after the United Chief Executive left the pre-season tour of Australia on "urgent transfer business" BACK IN JULY, but we wouldn't be so cruel and callous as to do that.]

 

o First off, a quick question for all of you out there, especially those of you who operate in what is commonly known as a "business" (a term the United front office may want to investigate): Does anyone still use a fax machine?  Has the front office at United heard of PDFs?  Adobe is a rather large software company, one with a global reach, and most professionals use its Portable Document Format to scan and send documents and signature pages by e-mail these days.  Here's a tip for the front office: you may want to look into this newfangled technology. It's a bit complicated, but we think you might ultimately get the hang of it.
 

On Why We're Angry and Confused

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You think Wayne Rooney is angry and confused?  Here's a couple of things we've been dying to clear up, as well:

o David Luiz plus any amount of cash as a makeweight for Roo?  Please.  We'd rather see Luis Suarez walk through the tunnel at Old Trafford every week than be forced to cheer for Sideshow Bob.  If we're going to take a horse's ass, at least let's take one who knows how to play football.

o Did the Special One become so unhinged in Spain that he thought he could get one over on his rivals by publicly unsettling a player curently under contract?  Credit to David Moyes and the new press-friendly Manchester United PR department for leaking the inclusion of Juan Mata or Luiz in the proposed deal.  True or not, Moysie returned Chelsea's aggressive serve with a bullet aimed directly at Mou's ankles.

o Hmmm, let's see: Cristiano or Fellaini?  Thiago....or Fellaini....?  Fabregas.....OR Fellaini....?  ANYONE or Fellaini??!!  Why can't Moyes just admit he wants his former fro-laden hitman to follow him to Old Trafford?  Perhaps it's because he knows this now highly-likely move will be greeted with a massive sigh of resignation from the club's worldwide fanbase.

Workmanlike: Manchester United 2 - Everton 0

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It's the home side with the early pressure, as Manchester United welcome a quality Everton side to Old Trafford. Sunday's contest was likely one Sir Alex circled on his personal calendar on the day the schedules were drawn after last year's disastrous 4-4 draw cost the Reds their 20th top flight title. United is energized in the game's early going, neatly personified by old boy Ryan Giggs sprinting down the touchline and young gun Phil Jones busily man-marking the ever dangerous Marouane Fellaini.

Unsurprisingly, it's the Reds with the game's first real opportunity: Robin Van Persie fluffs his opening lines, however, denting the post after faking Tim Howard out of his jock in a move that left the goalmouth begging. But the score does not remain level for more than a few more minutes: RVP makes up for his uncharacteristic miss by squaring the ball to a wide open Ryan Giggs, who batters the post himself but gets a kinder rebound than his Dutch teammate was treated to. The game's opener marks the Welshman's first goal of the Premier League campaign, a statistic that means Giggs has now scored in every single season of the Premier League's existence -- a record that can never be broken.

Although United look dangerous on almost every foray forward, Everton offer stubborn resistance, with midfielder Kevin Mirallas generating several early corner kicks through a show of sheer grit and determination. The Toffees seek to use their height and physicality as weapons to strike the Reds, but in particular Jones, Nemanja Vidic and Jonny Evans appear well up for the challenge.

The visitors seize the initiative after the home side's opener, and Leon Osman offers David De Gea his first real test of the afternoon.  The Spaniard's outstretched arms are equal to the test, however, and Vidic's sacrificial block puts an end to the threat. Everton amps up the pressure after the half hour mark, and it takes a timely intervention from right back Rafael to steer the ball away from the bruising Victor Anichebe and out of harm's way.

United change to more of a counter-attacking style to see out the first half, although RVP is repeatedly flagged for being offside -- until he no longer is. Philip Neville's deep lying position means the Flying Dutchman is onside near stoppage time, and despite valiant efforts by both Everton 'keeper Tim Howard and Center Back Johnny Heitinga, the League's leading scorer is not to be denied, and United's lead bulges along with the back of the net to two goals just before the half.

The farlieonfootie Halfway-To-Home BPL Team of the Season

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With half of the BPL season now done and dusted, it's time to announce our editors' picks for the all-BPL starting XI.  This may be a slightly unbalanced side with no pure wingers, but these guys are so good they may even give the all-Spanish FIFA XI a run for their money.   Interestingly, only two sides (Manchester United and Everton) managed to get more than one player in the team, and Arsenal got no one at all:

o Goalkeeper: Asmir Begovic, Stoke City. The big Bosnian narrowly edges out Sunderland's Simon Mignolet for our pick in the nets.  Ably assisted by his well organized defense, Begovic has been stingier than Scrooge in conceding opposition goals this season.

o Right Back:  Pablo Zabaleta, Manchester City.  Not only is he a fine defender, but the Argentine shoots like a cannon and is capable of popping up on the scorer's sheet when you least expect him.

o Center Back: Ryan Shawcross, Stoke City.  Shawcross just re-upped his contract with the Saints, and you can see why Tony Pulis and the Stoke fans love him: big and rangy, the Englishman has become one of the more complete center halfs in the League today.   He's also a threat on set pieces in the opposition box.

o Center Back: Jan Vertonghen, Tottenham Hotspur.  He plays with such ease that it's easy to forget that this season is the Dutchman's first in the League.  He's currently holding only the narrowest of advantages over Norwich's Sebastian Bassong in our minds, but if we were forced to pick between the two of them we'd take the Tottenham man.

o Left Back: Leighton Baines, Everton. The Fifth Beatle may have started the season slowly, but he's come on like the freight train force of his free kicks and penalities.

o Midfield: Michael Carrick, Manchester United.  Criminally underated for much of the past few seasons, the Englishman's standard has been so high this season that he's impossible to ignore.  Pinpoint passing was only one of the many outstanding facets of Carrick's play in 2012.

o Midfield: Michu, Swansea City.  The Spaniard is the buy of the season, and he just can't seem to stop scoring.  A wonderful addition to his team and the League, Michu's fine club form may even see him force his way into the Spanish national team -- and that's saying a lot.

Patience, Please (Hell Yeah!)

Ed Promises That Good Things Come to Those Who Wait
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Ed is never short on opinions, some of them even correct: 

I recall some time ago asking whether Liverpool FC would have the patience required when changing over to Brendan Rogers.  Could they get through a season of pure mediocrity or worse as he transitions from one system to another?  Like it is in politics, personnel is policy in football, and so far Brendan has been able to bring over just a few players who dwell in the tiki taka system.  Joe Allen being one, and I'm actually not sure who the other one is.

Yet despite the mismatch of personnel, Liverpool have been able to dominate possession.  The problem has been, of course, their inability to score.  The reality is that Liverpool is still recovering from the monstrous gap from their overspending for West Ham's Andy Carroll, and are left with a deficit and a single striker.  Kind of like Chelsea, except without the supporting case of Hazard, Mata, Oscar, and the like.

Give Liverpool some time, fans.  They've gotten the possession part down, and will start to move up the table as the season progresses.  More importantly, if they could spend 50MM pounds on Carroll, they'll be able to spend it again in the future.  How much better would they be, for example, with Berbatov or Chicharito or Ibrahimavic?  Maybe they won't be able to shell out the money necessary for this guys this year, but wouldn't be surprised to seem them do it next year.  Then we'll see how things go for them.  But until that happens, take a deep breath and when you exhale…...lower your expectations (aaaahhhhhhhhhh…….).

# # #

I've heard that there is some consideration to managing the wrestling that goes on during corner kicks following the Fellaini head butt.  I think it's high time for this.  Clearly, this can be difficult to call for an official as there are so many players in the penalty area during corners.  One would think, however, that the fourth official should be able to assist.  But also, aren't we really only concerned about the player trying to head the ball?  If players are warned that holding will be called, and if a few calls are made, defenders will start to hold less.  This will result in more goals and make corner kicks more appropriately threatening.  It's time to phase in this simple change, even if it seems hard at first.

Butthead: Round 17 in the BPL

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It's difficult to be too lighthearted in our remarks on the weekend's returns given the tragic events in Connecticut this past Friday, but we'll do our best to keep the focus on sports:

o For as meekly as fourth place Spurs played on Sunday, they looked positively buccaneering compared to the pale imitation of Swansea that turned up at White Hart Lane. Offering a 90 minute effort devoid of shots on goals -- their novel game plan evidently involved giving Hugo Lloris the day off -- Swansea played as if they believed their aim was mid-pitch possession, with each sideways and backward pass representing another scoring opportunity. Unfortunately for the men from Wales, the only pass that counted was Jan Vertonghen's into the back of the net, which is why Spurs find themselves occupying the fourth and final Champions League spot at week's end.

o Who said Chelsea's Fernando Torres couldn't score a last minute, big-time goal in a game with a trophy on the line, just like his predecessor Didier Drogba...? Wait.... He was offside? Never mind.

o We couldn't be bothered to watch any of QPR's victory over a flaccid Fulham side -- let's be honest, did you? -- but we did see the highlights. Two things stood out in our minds: Fulham made it 88 minutes into the game without doing a single thing -- a single thing! -- that the producers of Premier League Week in Review found noteworthy, and the most unlikely of images came in the immediate post-game aftermath, as Uncle Harry roamed the sideline looking to hug anything that moved to celebrate Rangers' first win of the season and found....Martin Jol. Naturally, the stolid Dutchman hugged back.  We guess there... is a heart in there after all....

Remember When: Week 15 in the BPL

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o Chelsea finally showed some signs of life on Saturday, scoring their first goal in three games under new coach Rafa Benitez. Unfortunately for Rafa, West Ham scored three of their own and were deserved winners at Upton Park. The Hammers looked a constant threat during the second half, and after 2 points from a possible 9 for the interim Bossman, here comes the inquest....

o And in reflecting on West Ham's magnificent performance, remember when Venky's decided that Big Sam wasn't the right man to lead Blackburn?  We wonder how that decision's working out for them....

o Marouanne Fellaini's fantastic goal against Manchester City this weekend cements his status as the best player of the season to date. The Afro'd one's drive and determination -- not to mention his physicality -- were all on display as he never gave up on a ball that was whipped in by Leighton Baines to earn his side a draw. Another draw for the Toffees -- this is beginning to get a bit repetitive....

o And add City super sub Edin Dzeko to the growing list of Premier League play actors. Dzeko' dramatic fall may have conned referee Lee Probert -- whose decision may also have been influenced by Fellaini's deserved "who me?" reaction -- but television replays confirmed that the contact in the box was minimal at best, and the resulting City penalty and point can most charitably be described as fortunate rather than earned.

Goose Eggs: Week 10 in the BPL

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o Could someone please tell us why Theo Walcott is sitting on the Arsenal bench, especially with the Ox out injured...? Wethinks Arsense Wenger knows more than he is saying about the Englishman's long-term future....

o After re-watching the highlights of United's 2-1 victory over Arsenal on Saturday, we're still scratching our heads at how the Reds failed to match last year's 8-2 victory -- certainly the scoring chances were there for the taking.

o Only time will tell if the Citizens nil-nil draw with West Ham United was two points dropped or a point gained. Both sides passed up multiple chances to win in a scoreline that was unlucky to finish knotted at goose eggs.

o Spare a thought for poor old Chelsea. As if a trip to Wales to play the Swans at the Liberty wasn't hard enough after the week they'd endured, Chelsea's slim 1-nil lead was greeted with...hailstones. Are you kidding us?!

o Andre Villas-Boas has gone for a much simpler look this season: gone is the multi-pocketed Inspector Gadget trench coat, replaced by a cleaner-looking simple rain coat. Although if we were being unkind we might say he looked a bit as if he mistakenly borrowed his much smaller brother's coat this weekend.... And the collar on the Potuguese bossman's shirt may be getting a bit tighter, too, after his curious decision to remove Jermaine Defoe from the field of action with his team down a second half goal at home. Can anyone see Sir Alex or Roberto Mancini making a move like that...?

Waiting for Van Persie: Manchester United 0 - Everton 1

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Q. So, did Robin Van Persie start against Everton on Monday?

A. This is the real world and not a movie. Of course he didn't start. The guy played about 30 minutes in total this pre-season, and with his injury history, you can expect Fergie to bring him along slowly.

Q. Ok then, did Shinji Kagawa at least get the nod?

A. Yes, in a squad that featured no less than eight offensive players, United's shiny new midfielder saw his first League start.

Q. Did it help?

A. Not really.  Kagawa played some nice through balls, but overall the offense looked slow, unjointed, and in largely the same form that we saw for much of the pre-season.

Q. Did anyone from United have a good game?

A. Yes, David De Gea was at his spectacular best in the first half, and kept the Reds in the match, when they could have easily been 2-nil or 3-nil down.

Q. Were there any images from the game that stand out?

A. Why, yes, there were.  Marouanne Fellaini winning virtually everything in the air, for one.  The Belgian looked about eight feet tall as he repeatedly towered over both Nemanja Vidic and makeshift center back Michael Carrick, unfortunately.  Fellaini was a beast, almost unplayable on Monday.

Q. Anything else?

A. Yes: Nani's consistent failure to take a corner that cleared the first defender. It's a miracle that Fergie left him on for 70 minutes.

Q. Could United have done anything to stop Fellaini?

A. Sure.  We could have bought him in the off-season, along with Van Persie and Kagawa.

Last Rites: Round 35 in the BPL

o Arsenal came out for the Cockney Derby looking more like the side that spent mid-week going toe-to-toe with the current European Champions rather than the side that spent Wednesday watching that game from their couch. Which only goes to prove that tired minds can be worse than tired legs.... The nil-nil draw likely suited both sides: Chelsea's hopes of finishing fourth are still alive, as is their momentum going into Tuesday's key clash with Barca, and Arsenal are still looking fairly comfortable in the race for a Champions League spot.

o Hatem Ben Arfa is a difference maker at this time of the season. The Frenchman made something from nothing, turning a routine out ball into a dangerous cross that ultimately led to Newcastle'a first goal against Stoke. Call me cazy, but between Ben Arfa, Yohan Cabaye and Papiss Cisse, I'm beginning to believe the Magpies may nip the final Champions League spot.

o Who would've thought in January I wouldn't be including Demba Ba in that prior sentence?  It's a funny old game....

o Stoke is mind numbingly poor on offense: 32 goals in 35 games, and not a one added to that total on Saturday. Personifiying the Potters' stupefyingly poor performance, Cameron Jerome came on as a mid-game substitute, and dribbled the ball into a complete dead end down the left side of the pitch no less than 3 or 4 times in his time on the pitch.

o Sunderland 0 - Aston Villa 0. Does this surprise anyone? Two poor teams with little to play for....

o Brad Freidel looked every one of his 40 years of age on Saturday when he was slow to react to a free kick that even our own Columnist Ed could have outrun. No doubt the shot was well placed by QPR's Adel Taraabt, but Friedel evidently must have been suffering from some severe arthritis as he creaked toward the ball.

Coming Unstuck: Manchester United 4 - Everton 4

Everton begin the game on the front foot, denying United easy possession in their own end, and pressing the ball as if they are impersonating a certain team from Catalonia. United respond with a catalog of errors and miscues, surrendering the ball time and again, which leads to a number of chances for the visitors in the contest's opening ten minutes.

Nani appears one of the few Reds awake for the early Sunday kick off, cutting in from his left hand position to test Everton 'keeper Tim Howard. Paul Scholes offers a long-range bomb that misses the mark as the home side finally engages the opposition after fifteen minutes has passed.

Half way to the interval and the statistics show United with 54 percent of the possession -- but statistics can lie. Everton have had the majority of the game's true opportunities and United have been wasteful with the ball. Danny Welbeck bears the brunt of much of the early frustration, dribbling into crowded situations and reliably popping up at the post opposite from the one at which crosses are being directed.

Nikica Jelavic opens the scoring for the visitors, directing his header off Tony Hibbert's cross well beyond David De Gea's grasp for a deserved opener for the visitors, and the flat home side have no one to blame but themselves.  Paul Scholes' impression of Darren Gibson nearly equalizes minutes later, tipped by three bodies during its trip through the box, but Tim Howard's extended foot keeps the ball from hitting the back of the net. It's none other than Wayne Rooney who does equalize five minutes before the break, nodding Nani's cross past Howard to haul the Champions back to level terms.

In truth, United are fortunate to head to the locker room tied at one, and the only person who's had as poor a half as the home team is the man in charge of the proceedings, Referee Mike Jones -- failing to recognize an ankle stamp on Evans, a clear foul on Rafael in the box and much more on his way to dishing out only a solitary yellow card.

And Now For Some Reader Mail

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Correspondent Ed dips into the latest mailbag:

Dear Corresp. Ed:

Love your columns!  Do you think Jose Mourinho has what it takes to take Real Madrid past Barcelona?

--Georgie T. (your number 1 fan), I’m in London, but you’re always in my dreams

Thanks for your support, Miss Georgie, and wow, I’m kind of blushing now....  To answer your question, I’m not sure that nutty face-pincher has what it takes to get past Barca.  The reality that is hitting the football world – or should be – is that the Barca tactical system is the most efficient  system in modern football.  Barca controlled the ball against a very good Madrid side a startling 73% of the time, and doubled the number of shots on goal taken by their opponent.  Barca is by far the better team, even though their talent is only somewhat better, and until Mourinho learns the Barca system he’ll never be more than second best no matter how many girlish slaps he puts on the oppositions assistant coaches.  But if you still don’t believe me, check out what the talentless Swansea team – the Barca of Wales – is doing in the EPL.  Spurs may be the most fun team in the EPL to watch, but Swansea isn’t close behind.

Corresp. Ed:

Keep up the great work!  Is it true that whenever there is a Copa Del Ray match, the offices of FOF allow tripping, pinching, and flopping?

--Donny K., California, USA

First of all, shut the frack up Donny!  (Sorry, man, I've been waiting for the opportunity to drop my favorite Big Lebowski line for a long time).  Second, it is true that on days of Barca v. Real matches the boss man declares “Copa Rules” and pretty much any kind of slapping, hand-stomping, face pinching, and hair pulling is permitted, but any kind of self-respecting retaliation or manly gestures are strictly forbidden.  And here’s something you probably don’t know:  no one can grab his face and drop better than the Corresp. Scott.  After pretending to take a thumb to the eye this week during a power point presentation, he flopped to the conference room floor and clawed at his face for a good 45 seconds with only occasional peaks at the boss man.  It was glorious to watch.  Glorious.

Corresp. Ed:

Do you think Jermaine Defoe has a legitimate complaint about not playing, considering he’s scored 11 goals in only 14 appearances?

Come on you Spurs!

--Jermaine, London, England

Well, uh, Jermaine, I would have to agree with you.  Opposing defenders have contended that Adebayor is an extremely difficult match up with.  That said, I think the reluctance to switch him out by Uncle Harry has almost as much to do with staying with what got you there as it has to do with ability.  I’ve never seen a player off-sides more than Adebayor, and he’s not that great a finisher.  Defoe, however, can finish inside a phone booth.  I expect to see him more as the season progresses, and a healthy Defoe could mean lots of goals for Spurs.