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| photo by Mzelle Biscotte | via PhotoRee |
Correspondent Ed dips into the latest mailbag:
Dear Corresp. Ed:
Love your columns! Do you think Jose Mourinho has what it takes to take Real Madrid past Barcelona?
--Georgie T. (your number 1 fan), I’m in London, but you’re always in my dreams
Thanks for your support, Miss Georgie, and wow, I’m kind of blushing now.... To answer your question, I’m not sure that nutty face-pincher has what it takes to get past Barca. The reality that is hitting the football world – or should be – is that the Barca tactical system is the most efficient system in modern football. Barca controlled the ball against a very good Madrid side a startling 73% of the time, and doubled the number of shots on goal taken by their opponent. Barca is by far the better team, even though their talent is only somewhat better, and until Mourinho learns the Barca system he’ll never be more than second best no matter how many girlish slaps he puts on the oppositions assistant coaches. But if you still don’t believe me, check out what the talentless Swansea team – the Barca of Wales – is doing in the EPL. Spurs may be the most fun team in the EPL to watch, but Swansea isn’t close behind.
Corresp. Ed:
Keep up the great work! Is it true that whenever there is a Copa Del Ray match, the offices of FOF allow tripping, pinching, and flopping?
--Donny K., California, USA
First of all, shut the frack up Donny! (Sorry, man, I've been waiting for the opportunity to drop my favorite Big Lebowski line for a long time). Second, it is true that on days of Barca v. Real matches the boss man declares “Copa Rules” and pretty much any kind of slapping, hand-stomping, face pinching, and hair pulling is permitted, but any kind of self-respecting retaliation or manly gestures are strictly forbidden. And here’s something you probably don’t know: no one can grab his face and drop better than the Corresp. Scott. After pretending to take a thumb to the eye this week during a power point presentation, he flopped to the conference room floor and clawed at his face for a good 45 seconds with only occasional peaks at the boss man. It was glorious to watch. Glorious.
Corresp. Ed:
Do you think Jermaine
Defoe has a legitimate complaint about not playing, considering he’s scored 11
goals in only 14 appearances?
Come on you Spurs!
--Jermaine, London, England
Well, uh, Jermaine, I would have to agree with you. Opposing defenders have contended that Adebayor is an extremely difficult match up with. That said, I think the reluctance to switch him out by Uncle Harry has almost as much to do with staying with what got you there as it has to do with ability. I’ve never seen a player off-sides more than Adebayor, and he’s not that great a finisher. Defoe, however, can finish inside a phone booth. I expect to see him more as the season progresses, and a healthy Defoe could mean lots of goals for Spurs.
