Friday, August 31, 2012

Premier League Transfer Madness: Going Out on a Limb

photo by turtlemom4baconvia PhotoRee

In which we go out on a limb to analyze the latest transfers -- both fact and gossip:

Dimitar Berbatov to Fulham: We've spoken early and often of our admiration for the languid Bulgarian, so it will come as no surprise that we think this will be a great pick up for Fulham.  As one Twitter wag stated yesterday, Martin Jol must be an absolute transfer genius to have picked up Mladen Petric and Dimitar Berbatov solely with the funds he received from offloading Bobby Zamora.  We can't wait to see Dimi receive the regular football he deserves, and believe he will once again be near the top of the League in goals by the end of the season.  If Berbatov does what we think he can, Manchester United may be glad they've already played Fulham once this season.

Andy Carroll to West Ham United (on loan): Could this be a marriage made in heaven?  Sure sounds like it to us.  Big Sam loves kick and run football -- and whose head is better to aim at than the ponytailed Geordie?  We don't see Carroll ever being worth anything close to £35 million in this lifetime, but if his form revives in a system that suits him, this could be a rather shrewd loan move by the scousers.

Clint Dempsey to Aston Villa: Seriously?  If this move comes off, Clint Dempsey's agent ought to have his hearing checked: Dempsey expressed a desire to play in the Champions League -- not the Championship next season.

Moussa Dembele to Spurs: A nice acquisition by Spurs, who may be shedding themselves of a midfielder or two in the next couple of  hours (see below for more).  We've always liked Dembele, and his fine form from last season has continued into the current campaign.  Spurs need more directness in their attack, and Dembele could be just the man to supply it.

Fernando Llorente to Liverpool: Sorry Liverpool fans, as much as you'd love it, it's just not happening.

Scott Sinclair to Manchester City: [Yawn.]  Someone had to replace Adam Johnson on the bench at Eastlands.

Julio Cesar to QPR: Someone check this man's age.  The calendar may show 32, but he's already showing signs of severe dementia, claiming that he believes QPR will win the League.  Mark Hughes' strategy seems to involve buying anything that's not nailed down at the current moment, and we believe this is a move that the club will soon regret.  Isn't Robert Green good enough for the Championship next season?

Edin Dzeko to Arsenal: If this one is true, Arsene Wenger should step down for the good of the club and its fans.  If he were to acquire Dzeko, Wenger will have officially jumped the shark.  To clarify, when we were saying Arsenal should be a bit more physical, we were talking about the defense and midfield, Arsene.

Rafael Van der Vaart to Hamburg: This one is really going to endear AVB to Spurs' fans.  It's not easy to replace 13 goals a year, but AVB is sure he can find just the man to do it.  His dismantling of a team that was in the top four for much of last season continues, and one thing is clear: this is not your Uncle's (Harry) Oldsmobile.

That some of these moves may happen will only enhance our pleasure as the clock ticks down toward 11pm BST.  We can't wait to see what the League looks like when all the dust settles on Jim White's handwritten notes tomorrow evening.

This is farlieonfootie for August 31.

1 comment:

  1. Pretty much right, except Dzeko is a much better player than you think, you silly, silly, man.

    -- Edin D.