Grabbing Our Attention: Week 4 in the BPL

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We drank some beer, watched some football, saw some highlights and even managed to sneak in some NFL this weekend.  In other words, it was just another weekend at the corporate office.  Without further ado, our thoughts on a relatively hum drum week in the BPL:

o Watching Chelsea play Everton made us realize Jose Mourinho thinks it's still 2006 in the Premier League. Frank Lampard and John Terry are not everyday starters anymore. David Moyes was under a similar impression at United, but someone finally mentioned to the new skipper that Ryan Giggs is nearly 40 years old these days....

o Laurent Koscielny is one of the most rash defenders in the BPL. Always one hare-brained decision away from either a red card or a penalty, the only other defender who rivals the Frenchman is Chelsea's own Sideshow Bob.

o Referee Martin Atkinson's poor decision making was illustrated brilliantly when he denied an advantage to Sunderland's Jozy Altidore on a play on which the American scored -- to helpfully pull the ball back for a free kick, which was promptly wasted by the home side. If ever there was a referee who needed to be relegated, it's Atkinson. The guy is a walking disaster.

o Alvaro Negredo is quickly learning the ins and outs of Premier League football. In his first start, the Spaniard was straightened right out by Referee Mark Clattenburg, who helpfully explained that while artfully pretending to be on the receiving end of head and facial injuries may be greeted with a wink wink, nod nod in Spain, playacting is generally frowned upon England.  With the notable exception of Ashley Young, of course....

o Is it just us, or does Manuel Pellegrini always look as if he's just walked out of a horror movie? Truth be told, that's likely how'd we feel, as well, after watching Manchester City play  these past couple of weeks. The kindest thing we can think to say of the new City head honcho is that his starting XI choices strike us as slightly naive.

Movement and Light: Round 23 in the BPL

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o While everyone's talking about Clint Dempsey's late late show against the League leaders, we prefer to focus on the goal that handed United an early advantage at White Hart Lane on Sunday -- and not just for the obvious reasons. What we saw was stupendous movement by Robin Van Persie, the kind you don't see from any other player in the League at the moment. One minute the Red Devil striker is carefully marked by Spurs' defensive pairing of Walker and Vertonghen, and the next -- don't blink or you'll miss it -- he's standing in acres of space, lit up all by himself. The striker is in imperious form right now and this week's goal demonstrates it clearly -- he's playing an utterly different game than the many mere mortals who surround him, and the timing of his runs is pure magic.

o And while a bunch of people were only too happy to criticize young David De Gea for his weak punch on Sunday, check out the replay before you make the accusation: the Spaniard was completely taken out of the play by his own Captain. Nemanja Vidic rushed straight into De Gea and basically submarined him - and not many players in the world are capable of surviving a collision with the big Serb.

o We're not big fans of whining Frenchmen here at farlieonfootie, but we have to admit that Arsenal bossman Arsene Wenger had a point on Sunday. Not a point from the game -- it was a toothless Arsenal side he sent out to meet the Blues at Stamford Bridge, after all -- but instead a point about Referee Martin Atkinson missing a clear foul by Ramires on Francis Coquelin (the former a dirty player if ever there was one) immediately preceding Juan Mata's opening goal. Compounding matters that involved the same parties, Atkinson doubled his gifts to the home side by awarding Ramires a penalty -- when the Brazilian clearly tripped untouched over Arsenal 'keeper Sczcesny's outstretched leg. We've harped on it time and time again on this blog -- Atkinson is a poor and obviously biased referee who is either not up to the task or on Roman Abramovich's payroll.

Give That Man a Hand: Week 12 in the BPL

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o Spurs fans: after watching the Gunners smash five past your team on Saturday, we have a suggestion for your Manager's new theme song.... Let us know your thoughts:



o Sign o' the Times: Juan Mata created more real chances in his first five minutes on the pitch than Fernando Torres created in over an hour.

o Chelsea with Juan Mata, Oscar and Eden Hazard are lacking only one thing: a real live striker who can put the ball in the net. If the Blues can persuade Radamel Falcao to sign on the dotted line, watch out.

o Carlos Tevez and Player of the Week Sergio Aguero manhandled an Aston Villa club that had given the Citizens' cross-twin rivals all they could handle the week prior. And ominously for future opponents, David Silva looked fairly good, as well.... But City's best player by far was wearing black: Linesman Adrian Holmes saw hand balls the way some actors see dead people -- imagining things that don't exist. With one fail swoop City were literally handed a game that not only gave them first place, but the resulting five goals they put past the hapless Villans also allowed the Sky Blues to take the lead on goal differential for the first time all season.

o And speaking of handing a result to the other side, Referee Martin Atkinson somehow managed to fluff yet another in a long career of missed penalties and imagined infractions. Atkinson's generous interpretation of Sean Morrison's arm save overlooked the act that the Reading player who stopped Nikica Jelavic's goal bound shot was not their 'keeper, and gave the Royals their very first win of the season.

Coming Up Trumps: Round 34 in the BPL

o Paul Lambert may be having a Manger Of the Season type year, but his Norwich City troops displayed a tactical naïveté when they came out playing way too open a game in their Saturday contest against Manchester City. It was just what the doctor ordered for the Sky Blues, as evidenced by Kun Aguero even managing to find the net --  for the very first time on the road this season outside of Manchester or London.

o Chant of the Week (sung by City fans -- note the irony): "He wants to go home, He wants to go home, Carlos Tevez, He wants to go home." And with his hat trick on England's east coast, the Argentine sausage-like wantaway is our Player of the Week.

o It's all coming up trumps for Andy Carroll as the season begins to wind down. Two late winners inside of a week's time.... I wonder if he'll choose to go out to and celebrate with Roger Johnson and Anderson, or just spend a quiet night taking in a Boyzone concert with the King.  My guess is that wherever he goes, Carroll won't be celebrating with a Kaliber.

o Gylfi Sigurdsson has turned into a helluva mid-season loan for Swansea City. Just when I had begun to write-off the Swans as undergoing a late-season wobble, up stepped the Icelandic midfielder to grab a goal and an assist to help steady the ship. I don't know what the terms of Sigurdsson's loan deal are, but I would suggest in the strongest terms possible that Swansea lock him up for next season -- although my sense is that a few other teams may also be interested in doing the same.

o Wolves and what appeared to be their seven traveling fans -- wait, does it really matter how I finish that sentence...?  Think about it -- seven people traveled from Wolverhampton to see Wolves take on Sunderland. That's preposterous, as were the three virtually empty sections of seats behind the Visitors' goal at the Stadium of Light on Saturday.

Questions and Answers from Week Seven in the EPL

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Quick question for you: if members of the armed forces wears camouflage in order to blend into the background, why does Tim Howard wear it for his Everton 'keepers kit?  Every other goaltender in the league wears loud, garish colors, all the better to stand out: flourescent pink for Jussi Jaaskelainen, day-glo yellow for David De Gea, etc., yet Howard blends into the pitch with his vaious shads of green. Maybe it's so the opponents don't see him, which would explain Luis Suarez' point blank header right into Howard's arms with the whole of the empty net in front of him early on in the Merseyside derby on Saturday.

o King Kenny was looking a bit like a baseball manager on the sideline, wearing his Liverpool practice kit for the derby. In very few sports other than basesball does the manager wear the same thing as the men he coaches. Perhaps Kenny thinks he could still be out there cutting it on the pitch -- He certainly wouldn't be much of a step down in goal production from some of his newer signings....

o I didn't think it possible, but Luis Suarez somehow managed to enhance his reputation as a cheat with his antics against Everton on Saturday, losing a race to the ball to Jack Rodwell, and rolling over and writhing on the pitch as if his ankle had just been surgically removed. Now known around the league for petulance as well as his cheating disposition, Suarez is quickly becoming the man everyone else loves to hate.

o Referee Martin Atkinson once again saw fit to insert his name into the headlines on Saturday rather than letting the players hog the limelight. This isn't the first time Atkinson has done so, nor will it be the last. If the FA had any bit of common sense in its decision making -- it's a bit like yelling into an empty pit here -- they'll examine Atkinson's proclivities for making a name for himself in the games he oversees. And not in a good way.

Spewing Venom (Ode to Martin Atkinson)

Martin Atkinson of the FA Referees Association
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By any stretch of the imagination, Martin Atkinson just bottled one of the biggest games of the year. Rather than let the players be the story, Atkinson and his extra large ego had to insert himself into the story yesterday at Stamford Bridge. And this, in the end, is what makes football so excruciating, painful and heartbreaking to watch. A single man, whose athletic dreams were never quite realized, who should be no closer to this game than sitting in a poor, dilapidated house watching it over a fuzzy, rabbit-eared, black and white television, is so vain that he has to place himself prominently into the storyline -- Look at me, Ma!  Look what I've become! -- and, by changing the game's outcome singlehandedly, become the game's talking point all by himself.

It's often said that the best official is the one you don't notice. The one who quietly operates behind the scenes, having a quiet word or two with the players in the heat of battle, stopping minor contretemps from flaring up into major brouhahas. The guy who unobtrusively goes about his business, letting the fans enjoy the players they paid to see. The one who takes command of a game, lays down the rules early and enforces them in a most consistent manner. Consistency -- that's the key. If you're going to call a game tightly or loosely, call it that way on both sides of the ball.

But the ones who are weak, who are cowed by the crowd, who harbor a secret desire to be in the limelight themselves -- unbreathed to anyone, even their wife and closest associates -- are the ones to fear. These are the ones who consistently make mistakes, who get calls wrong more often than right, who can and do change a game just by being in charge. You know who you are: Martin Atkinson, Mike Dean, and Lee Mason. You guys are bottlers, second rate, can't handle the pressure, and all three of you consistently make calls that are easily second guessed by both fans and commentators alike, and not one of the three of you deserve to be anywhere near a pitch for a match more important than a four year old girls' game.