Headlines

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In case you were under a rock the past couple of days:

o First, Caros Tevez, now Samir Nasri....  It's bad enough that City already had one player banned from driving for six months this week -- but two?   Seriously -- are they unable to afford a driving instructor? 

Q. What did City's star midfielder say when offered a four year contract worth £45 million?

A. Ya ya.

o Is anyone the least bit surprised that Joey Barton is embroiled in yet another controversy?  Having worn out his welcome in England, Barton is well on his way to becoming a persona non grata in France, as well.

o The very definition of false bravado: Andre Villas-Boas confidently declaring that the ankle injury sustained by Gareth Bale last night "will not derail their season."  Oh, ok -- thanks for clarifying.  We were under the apparently false impression that Spurs were largely a one man team this season. Maybe two, if you count their other top scorer of late, Jan Vertonghen.

o False bravado, part II: Fernando Torres will fire on for the rest of the season -- or so says Rafa. Perhaps a cautionary note is called for: a brace by the Lone Ranger -- or is it Fernando Zorres? -- against a middling European team does not mean the Spaniard is back.

This is farlieonfootie for April 5.

Hazard Warning

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I was going to write an entry on how excited I was that Manchester United were linked with Robert Lewandowski, when I realized it would be relatively short.  Like about this long.

Primarily because I have no idea who Robert Lewandowski is other than what I read in the papers yesterday.  Apparently, he's a Polish Striker who plays his Club football with Borussia Dortmund in Germany, and is linked with a move to United, in exchange for Dimitar Berbatov going the other way as a makeweight.  Lewandowski's good in the air, and he's just what Fergie needs to play the style of football he's creating -- or at least that's what I've read.  Regardless, the guy scored 22 goals in all competitions this season for the team that won Der Bundesliga, so he's got to be pretty darn talented.

Or possibly I could expound on the creative qualities of Shinji Kagawa, also of Dortmund club fame.  That article would be only slightly longer than the one about Lewandowski -- I don't think I saw Dortmund play more than once this season, and I'm by no means an expert on the Bundesliga -- at least not yet.  I do know that Kagawa's got a bunch of people on Twitter in a lather.  The Japanese national had 13 goals to his credit this season, alongside 11 assists -- and those are rather gaudy numbers for a midfielder, whatever league he plays in.

As to the veracity of the reports on either player, who knows.  Much the same for the reputed signing of Eden Hazard, with unofficial "sources" claiming yesterday that Hazard had spurned Chelsea and City's advances in favor of the tradition of Old Trafford --  but again, who knows what's real and what's a negotiating ploy at this juncture.  [Ed. Note: In all honesty, I find myself saying to an extent "Who cares?" about Hazard.  I don't remember a player's future being played out so coyly in the media since LeBron James announced "The Decision " (His term, and his capital letters, NOT mine)].

But what I decided to write about in the end was none of the above -- but instead about how much this off-season is beginning to remind me of last season's -- and United's "pursuit" of Wesley Sneijder.  While the papers were getting all hot and bothered about United and Wesley, Sir Alex was busy attempting to sign Samir Nasri (and ultimately did come to a handshake with him, apparently, only for the deal to be hijacked at the last minute by City brass, who proceeded to offer the Frenchman 50% more than United in terms of personal wages).

The Magic of BPL Round 29

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Round 29 combined BPL action with the weekend's FA Cup bouts, leading to a mishmash of football, and many teams playing twice in a very short period of time:

o I've got to say I was impressed with referee Michael Oliver, who oversaw a testy match on Saturday between Wigan and West Bromwich Albion. Showing maturity well beyond his 26 years, Oliver did a masterful job of straddling the very fine line between being a disciplinarian and letting the players play the game. In the process, he certainly didn't please either team -- but the mark of a fair deal in my book is one in which both sides feel a little aggrieved. There are big things in store for this kid: mark my words.

o The scenes out of White Hart Lame on Saturday were distressing and terrifying to witness, and made me realize -- once again -- that it's just a game we're watching. Full credit to the players, fans, officials and announcers who immediately grasped the impact of what they were viewing -- you could see the shock, terror and worry etched in their every face. Howard Webb's decision to abandon the game was the proper one, and greeted with great respect by the fans, who could easily have reacted differently. Our prayers go out to Bolton's Fabrice Muamba, and we wish him only the best, and a speedy recovery.

o It was the weekend of the misfit: how else to explain the fact that Fernando Torres and Stewart Downing both found the net on Sunday...?

o I tried to watch Sunderland at Blackburn, but I have to be honest: the contest just seemed devoid of life. There were fan scattered around empty seats, and the general crowd din was so low you could practically hear individual voices. All in all, it kind of reminded me of watching a Florida (Miami?) Marlins game, and trust me -- that's not a glowing recommendation for the BPL.

o I'll say this only once this season: Without Junior Hoilet, Blackburn's season would be in the toilet. But thanks to the best Canadian export to the BPL since a certain fragile midfielder in Manchester, Rovers look as if they may indeed beat the drop.

o It was great to see Fernando Torres returning to his unassuming life as Clark Kent mid-week against City, after a quick weekend cameo as Superman against Leicester City.  Misjudging balls, displaying the touch of a deaf, dumb and blind man, and seemingly afraid to shoot -- yup, that's the Torres we've grown to know and love.

o When in doubt, resort to cantenaccio: City went with their vaunted three holding midfielder offense, featuring Nigel De Jong, Ya Ya Toure and Gareth Barry all on the pitch for the second half against Chelsea.  With Samir Nasri also playing, it made for quite a crowd in the middle of the pitch, but in the end it got a result. And wouldn't you know that the play which kept City's title hopes alive would involve the only two men on the side who haven't been played to death this season by Roberto Mancini: Samir Nasri and a certain Carlos Tevez.  And for that very play, we are awarding our Player of the Week title to Sami -- you didn't think it was going to Tevez, did you?

o Meanwhile, I thought Chelsea set up even more negatively than City, and were lucky to get even their single deflected goal.  Sticking the aforementioned 'Nando up front all by himself, and leaving him there to provide "offense," RDM's plan must have involved shutting City out at home. Either the guy is brilliant and has brass balls, or he's a complete and utter idiot -- and the manner of City's 2-1 win made Di Matteo appear rather foolish in the end.

o The Arsenal - Everton game, which began so brilliantly, eventually settled down into a rather drab and dour 1-0 affair.  People can talk all they want about what a great job David Moyes has done, but with his record of producing goals at Goodison this season, I hope he moves up into second place on the BPL's list of longest-tenured coaches after Sir Alex retires....

o Sight of the week: Spurs' fans leaving White Hart Lane with their team down 1-nil in the 85th minute. Talk about fair weather: too bad they missed Rafael Van der Vaarts's dramatic stoppage time equalizer, which kept Tottenham's Champion League hopes alive -- by a thread. With the Blues' loss on Wednesday, the game this weekend between the two London clubs is shaping up into a Champions League six pointer.

This is farlieonfootie for March 23.

The Transfer Market Hall of Shame, Class of 2011

farlieonfootie's newest hire has demanded that his wages be paid entirely in craft beer.  Herewith, Columnist Randy:

With a new year comes a new transfer window and the excitement is building. Rumors are flying fast and furiously as fans anxiously wait to see if their favorite team has upgraded their talent or lost what talent they had (stay tuned, Blackburn fans). With all the transfer excitement building, we thought it a good idea to look back on last year's transfers to see which have been the worst so far. While there have been some great ones --  Demba Ba to Newcastle, Juan Mata to Chelsea and, of course, Sergio Aguero to Manchester City spring to mind -- we’re going to look at the five worst transfers of 2011. My criterion, while very subjective, basically takes into account two things: 1) How expensive was the player in question; and 2) have they produced and lived up to expectations. With that said, on to our top, er, bottom 5.

5 – David De Gea  - Manchester United

Transfer - £18 million from Atletico Madrid

De Gea arrived at Old Trafford as the heir apparent to the legendary Edwin Van der Sar . Coming off a successful U-21 European Championship he initially seemed up to the task. Alas, De Gea has been tentative in the box of late, and susceptible to costly mistakes all season long. His play so far has earned him time on the bench, and it appears as if he has been replaced by Anders Lindegaard for now. Since De Gea is only 21 there's still plenty of time for him to turn it around and become United’s goalkeeper for the future.

4 – Stewart Downing – Liverpool

Transfer - £20 million from Aston Villa

After 20 games in the League this season, Stewart Downing has produced absolutely nothing, save an arrest for allegedly punching his ex-girlfriend. He has zero assists and zero goals in Premier League play, but finally managed a point with a goal against Oldham in the FA Cup. Anyone who has watched Liverpool this season has seen Downing has had more than his fair share of opportunities to tuck away goals. At least now he has the same amount of goals as he has arrests.

3 – Samir Nasri – Manchester City

Transfer - £22 million from Arsenal

Nasri has appeared in only 12 league games, while making the starting XI only nine times. In those games, while he has netted two goals and seven assists, he has often seemed lost and out of place. With David Silva and Yaya Toure anchoring the City midfield it has been hard for Nasri to get on the pitch, especially as he has also been outplayed by James Milner. With Yaya Toure off the African Cup of Nations, thoughm Nasri should have a chance to play and show his worth.

Like a Fish Needs a Bicycle: Week 13 in the EPL

Photo by Gareth D. Jones on Flickr

Tottemham's Benoit Assou-Ekotto is doing his singular part to bring the Jackson Five back into style. Circa 1974 style. He's beginning to remind me of Correspondent Ed back in his school daze....

o I don't rate Arsenal.  Sure, I know it's the  "in"  thing to do, bowing down at the Altar of Wenger with the Gunners having won 11 of their last 14 after their draw on Saturday, but I just think they've played weak competition. End of story.

o I heard the announcers talk about Samir Nasri during the Arsenal - Fulham game, and it reminded me: Samir who?  Even the  Frenchman's critics could not have predicted his demise would come this quickly. Last season at this time he was gliding silkily through Premier league defenses, pulling the strings for the Arsenal offense.  This year, the only thing he's pulling is the water cart for David Silva, and he only sees the pitch when mopping up for Mario Balotelli or Edin Dzeko -- mostly he's been seen this season watching longingly from the bench.

Nasri is a fish out of water for City. He's best used to create offense in the middle, but with Silva already filling that role, Manchester City needs Samir Nasri like a fish needs a bicycle.   He may be part of a winning team but I wonder how satisfied he's feeling right now.

Rumors and Speculation

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Some thoughts on activity (and inactivity) so far in the summer transfer window:

o I'm going out on a limb here, but I think David De Gea is going to be a wonderful 'keeper.  I've been banging on about him on this website for almost a year now -- I was impressed from the first time I saw him play live for Atletico Madrid, handing Barcelona their only La Liga defeat of the 2009/2010 season.   His long, lanky frame covers a ton of ground, and he's one of the best shot blockers in Europe.  He's young and likely still learning, but I'm confident he'll be able to handle the pressure cooker that is Old Trafford, and that he's going to be United's rock in front of goal for years to come.

o Arsenal should pay whatever it takes to sign Chris Samba.  He's exactly the kind of imposing physical player the Gunners need to be competitive.  I don't rate Gary Cahill nearly as much -- he may be a fine player, but Arsenal need someone with some size, bite and presence.  They need someone opponents fear.  I hope they don't sign him.

Transfer Daze

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"Will he, or won't he" fills the news void: Will Phil Jones sign with United?  Why, he already has!  No he hasn't, there was a last minute snag with Venkys that's holding up the deal. Will Ashley Young sign?  He's getting married this week, and will sign when he comes back.  How about Nani?  He's trade bait for Inter, to be offered in a player-and-cash deal for Wesley Sneijder. Luka's not going anywhere says Harry, but much to Arsene's dismay, Samir is playing footsie with Sir Alex.

I've written about all this transfer nonsense before, but this past week has revealed the truth once more: there's part fact, part fiction, and part pure fantasy and negotiating leverage at play here -- Welcome to Silly Season, in which the fans and "In the Know" pundits play football manager as they critique, criticize and attempt to cajole their teams into action or inaction in the summer transfer market.

In part this happens because something needs to fill the gaping maw that claims the term "news" during the slower summer months. With the hilarious and appropriately-named "Weinergate" hogging the headlines over here in the States, and no League games occurring to grab a true fan's attention, rumor and speculation suffice just fine. So to add to the witches brew of speculation, fact and opinion, I'll add a few thoughts of my own to the mix:

Things We Saw at the North London Derby

Spurs correspondent James joined farlieonfootie to report on a wild and wooly North London derby.  Although James was near despondent at the end of the game's first half, his theatrics and ebullient joy could not be contained in the second half, resulting in a rather annoying one-game ban from the Emirates press box.  Herewith our thoughts, as they actually occurred:

• The game's first goal, off the foot of Samir Nasri, is absolutely crazy.  Assou-Ekoto was victimized like a 98 pound weakling in the state penitentiary, which must be a worrying development for Spurs fans with more than 80 minutes left in the game. How in the world did Sammy Nasri get the ball to go sideways and then make a left turn into the goal from such a tight angle?  That's just ridiculous, which brings us to our next topic.

• Have you seen Flappyhandski's pink goal jersey and socks?  It's not a good look.  While James lays the blame on Nike, "the great Satan of sports marketing," I prefer to think of Fabianski as a missing member of Everton's away squad.  Either way, it's a little scary.

• What's up with Marouane Chamakh and the faux-turtleneck look?  James beleives that Chamakh looks as if he's dressed to take a stroll down a Parisian boulevard, but is looking for his missing poodle. In the US, we call that piece of clothing a dickey. I'll just leave it at that. 

From Russia With Love

Actual View from farlieonfootie Correspondent Ed's Accomodations in Siberia
photo by diasUndKompott	via PhotoRee

November 15, 2010/ Minsk, Russia

It’s a cold one today here in the former USSR, and as I finish up my research for a future three-part docu-drama blog for farlieonfootie on FC Dynamo Minsk, I thought it might be about time to publish the first quarter All-Ed team.  What does it take to be a member of this coveted group?  Well, great play, style, toughness, and as regular readers of my columns already know, more than one name. 

So these are the guys I want to go to battle with for the rest of the EPL season.  We’re a little weak at the back – as is the whole of the EPL this season – but hey, no one likes watching those nil - nil games anyhow.  My guys are going to play attacking footie, and put some numbers on the board.  And at while my coach wants to go with the 4-3-3, we’ve got to do what matches our talent best, and go with the 4-4-1-1:

1.    The Tick.   One might at first think that Didier Drogba would be the obvious choice for striker – the size, speed, stats and ominous name would seem to put him over the top.  But I prefer Carlos Tevez -- the little guy who tells Man United he’s the best striker on the team and then goes out and proves it.