Comfortable: Manchester United 2 - West Ham United 0

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Manchester United rode two Wayne Rooney goals to victory over West Ham United in a game that meant little to either team, but did manage to keep United's momentum moving forward before the Manchester derby early next week.  The first Rooney strike, from nearly 50 yards out, easily recalled the exploits of the watching David Beckham, with the United forward spotting the West Ham 'keeper off his line before volleying home from near the center line.  The Englishman's second goal was a poacher's delight, Rooney the recipient of a poor clearance attempt and able to slot the ball into an open net after shuffling his feet to corral the errant pass.

Although it was true the Reds' offense looked more fluid today in a game that saw Rooney supported by both Juan Mata and Shinji Kagawa, the visitors were unable to capitalize on their lead after the break, flubbing several opportunities to widen their margin of victory on a day that saw no lack of quality goals in the League.  Herewith,  the individual player ratings on a relatively comfortable away win.  

De Gea: Needed to stop Carroll's early header and did so. A little indecisive on a late cross, but didn't have much else to do tonight. 7.5

Rafael: Early yellow and beaten by Downing; aways looks one rash decision away from a red card of late. Improved as the game wore on. 7.0

Jones: Outleaped by Carroll on occasion, but had help keeping the Hammers' big man in check. 7.5

Carrick: Great distribution from the back and a confident performance in defense from the midfielder.  7.5

Büttner: Did well enough filling in for Evra, although did not face the same kind of test he will endure in the Champions League.  7.0

Mata: Great touch, fluid movement and beautiful passing.  7.5

Yawner: Manchester United 3 - West Ham United 1 -- Game Recap and Player Ratings

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Manchester United gained the first of twelve much needed points over the Christmas festive period, dispatching a listless West Ham United squad 3-1 at Old Trafford on Saturday.  So complete was the Reds' latest win that even Sir Alex Ferguson was yawning from his seat in the stands, as the game felt comfortably in hand from the 20 minute mark.  Danny Welbeck, Wayne Rooney and Adnan Januzaj proved more than the West Ham defense were capable of handling on offense, while the defense handed David De Gea a virtual vacation day bar a late mental lapse that prevented a fourth consecutive clean sheet in the League.

Herewith, the individual player ratings on a game that saw the team improve their home goals record by more than 30%:  

De Gea: Won't need his uniform laundered after the game, so little did he move. Shutout spoiled late on by poor positioning from substitute Alexander Büttner.  7.0

Rafael: Beautiful understanding and interplay with Valencia. 7.0

Evra (c): Stuck mainly to defending, ceding the left side attack on the day to Januzaj.  7.0

Evans: Sacrificed the body to protect his goal on numerous occasions and was denied at the other end by Mark Noble. 7.5

Smalling: Rock solid at the back. 7.5

Januzaj: His first half penalty shout may have been denied, but there was no stopping the Belgian starlet just a minute later for the home side's second goal of the afternoon. 8.0

Valencia: Upside: another industrious effort on the right flank. Downside: consistently inconsistent with his crossing. 7.0

Jones: Not afraid to drive forward when in possession and broke up play well. 7.0

Cleverley: Was nearly in the net after only a minute and kept the ball on the move all afternoon long. 7.0

Blow Me: Manchester United 2 - West Ham United 2

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Manchester United drew 2-2 with West Ham in a mid-week trip to Upton Park, salvaging a point on a day when the visiting side played less than their usual best.  Hauling themselves back from two separate deficits, the Reds were unable to take the final step and find a late winner against a physical and determined West Ham United side.  Antonio Valencia and Robin Van Persie matched goals with Ricardo Vaz Te and Mohammed Diame, although it was Andy Carroll’s name that United fans found themselves cursing most after the conclusion of the spirited contest.

The home side began strongly, a not unexpected result amid the cauldron of noise at the Boleyn Ground, with Carroll narrowly skimming the post under gloaming skies.  West Ham passed the ball crisply and ten minutes passed in a blur with the theme of the game not yet apparent, as both sides suffered from turnovers and found themselves unable to impose their respective gameplans.  By the 15 minute mark, though, the theme of the contest was beginnign to come into focus: Matt Jarvis using pace to beat Rio Ferdinand to the end line, and Carroll outleaping his marker to head the ball into the path of Vaz Te’s for the opening goal – the Hammers’ speed and physicality getting the better of a diffident United defensive effort.

The away side seemed to be suffering through the general malaise that has plagued virtually all of their recent games, the end product bedeviled by passing that was not accurate enough, pace not quick enough, and movement not wily enough – through 25 minutes and the ball was still unfamiliar with the gentle caress of West Ham ‘keeper Jussi Jaaskelainen’s hands.

Although Jaaskelainen’s gloves were still unsullied five minutes later, the scoreline was leveled when Shinji Kagawa outplayed the entire West Ham defense to pick out an unmarked Valencia in front of goal, the winger finding himself left with only a tap in for the equalizer.  The goal was the first of the season for the Ecuadorian, and it changed the complexion of the contest: for the first time in the half it was the visitors looking the more fluid of the two sides.  If Sir Alex planned to pull out his famed hairdryer at the interval to castigate a largely uninspired performance, however, the final corner of the half offered him a golden opportunity to warm it up, with the Scot absolutely incandescent at the non-call on Carroll’s dangerous foul on United ‘keeper David De Gea just prior to the whistle.

Perched in Third: Tottenham Hotspur 3 - West Ham United 2

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Correspondent James' current form on the keyboard is almost as good as Gareth Bale's current form on the pitch:

There was a ton of tension and drama last night as Spurs took on West Ham at Upton Park. Of course, West Ham's home is one of those wonderful old English football stadiums like White Hart Lane.  And there was a nice pre-game tribute to England hero and former Hammer Sir Bobby Moore.  And there was Spurs desperately needing three points to maintain their four point gap on Arsenal, and West Ham needing the three points to help stay up.

Of course, in the midst of all of that, it may be unnecessary but nevertheless important to note, the fans of the respective clubs hate each other.  The Hammers, in the panoply of Spurs' bitterest rivals, are somewhere just behind Arsenal and juggling with Chelsea for second place, depending upon which of the two clubs’ retrograde Neanderthal groups of fans has lodged the most recent round of gas chamber hissing, Nazi salutes or other assorted anti-Semitic abuses at Spurs fans.

Yes - we do hate the Spammers.  And with a North London derby approaching in only six days’ time, the aforementioned perilous four point gap over Arsenal, the fortuitous opportunity to hop Chelsea into third with three points, the ESPN commentary of the inane Steve McManaman and the incredibly pedestrian play of Spurs' midfield (and by "pedestrian" I mean literally walking - Spurs midfield has been walking) yesterday's match shaped up to be an all-around rant inducing stress-fest for this correspondent.

It did not disappoint. For Spurs fortunes were once again saved by the Greatest Player In The World™ with two more simply ridiculous long range strikes balanced between a garbage goal picked up by someone not named Bale:  the seemingly resurgent Gylfi Sigurdsson.  The Hammers' goals came in ways that were almost as maddening as the horrific play in Spurs' midfield in the first half.  The recently lambasted Scott Parker stupidly slid into Andy Carrol in the box and the same obligingly slotted the ball into the top left corner of the goal on the ensuing free kick.  And, mid-way through the 2^nd half, West Ham burned Spurs' high line in a shambolic display not seen since late summer with Joe Cole of all people punching an angled shot past Hugo Lloris into the far corner.  This put West Ham up 2-1, and with Jussi Jasskelainen making incredible saves under waves of pressure from Spurs, this correspondent was left thinking of other recent and painful Spurs’ February collapses.

A Narrow Victory: Five Thoughts on Manchester United 1 - West Ham United 0

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Five thoughts on the Reds' victory in the FA Cup replay:

o Ch-ch-ch-changes: Swapping ten of the eleven men that saw off Liverpool over the weekend, Sir Alex saw fit only to hand Rafael a repeat start. As stated, the Gaffer may want to win the FA Cup, but clearly he wants to win the Premier League even more. Fortunately, Sam Allardyce entered the contest in a similar frame of mind, preferring to save his veteran heads for matches in which the Hammers stand a better chance of emerging victorious, and came to Old Trafford with a weakened side that featured neither Joe Cole nor James Collins.

o Wazza-licious: It didn't take Wayne Rooney long to begin making up for lost time, tapping a slick Chicharito pass into an empty net to record his ninth goal of the season inside of the 10 minute mark.  If Rooney can use the three week rest to his advantage -- saving his legs during one of the season's most energy-sapping periods --  and come out firing rather than shooting blanks, look out. Robin Van Persie, Chicharito and Wayne Rooney all hitting form at the same time would be a very scary proposition for the rest of the League.

o Turnabout: For large portions of the match the two sides took turns attacking, with only one club at a time showing they were intent on finding the net.  The other side played largely in a defensive shell, as the two teams appeared to rotate which one would take its foot off the pedal. After United scored the opener, West Ham refused to press forward, dropping deep and ceding acres of space on the middle of the pitch to the home side. In the second half the shoe switched feet: it was Allardyce's men who displayed the attacking intent, and United who lost their way and looked happy just to hold onto their one goal lead.

Twenty Questions: Manchester United 2 - West Ham United 2

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20 questions (or thereabouts), to celebrate goal number 20 for United's number 20:

o If De Gea starts in the Cup, when does Anders Lindegaard play?  Or is he still in Sir Alex's doghouse from his last performance?

o With Chicharito scoring 11 goals in his last 14 games, does Rooney automatically go back into the lineup when he returns?  If so, for whom?

o If Danny Welbeck can't score more often than once in 23 games, how long will Sir Alex keep the faith?

o Is Joe Cole's fancy footwork at a predominantly kick-and-run West Ham side the football equivalent of putting lipstick on a pig?

o If a striker such as Chicharito can cross the ball like he did for Tom Cleverley's goal, which gave the visitors a 1-nil lead after 22 minutes, why have United's wingers had such difficulty putting in deliveries of similar quality this season?

o Why is it that, despite Vida's return, the United defense still looks weaker in the air this season, as it did for James Collin's equalizer just before the half hour mark?

o Did it ever dawn on the United midfielders that they should stop giving away free kicks to West Ham, as it appeared the only way the Hammers were capable of threatening the United goalmouth?

o Did Welbeck's lack of goals this season cause him to be more selfish than usual when he chose to shoot rather than pick out a wide open Chicharito on one of the Red Devils' typical lightning quick counterattacks?

o Was Shinji Kagawa actually on the pitch in the first half, or did someone from the stands borrow his kit and jog around in his stead?

Here We Go: Liverpool 3 - West Ham United 2

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Scott is thankful for narrow victories:

Things could be worse for a team with only one experienced striker. After being 18^th in the table not that long ago, some may complain about being 10^th now, but I say we are headed in the right direction and, with only 4 points between us and 4^th place, I would say the January transfer window has become increasingly important. Finally in the top half of the table, albeit only on point differential, Brendan Rodgers is starting to put his mark on this Liverpool team and they are responding. The headlines may be splashed with Manchester shades of red and blue right now but, come April/May, Liverpool will command Champions League respect, if not a place at the championship table.

That said, there was the not-so-little matter of West Ham to deal with last Saturday. Sans Suarez, how would the Reds do against the Caroll-less Hammers? Well, a bright start yielded a spectacular goal from Glen Johnson who proved again that Liverpool has some of the most dangerous fullbacks in the league. Glorious is how my notes describe the upper left corner strike that gave Jussi Jaaskelienen no chance at all.

West Ham upped the pressure after that and, after a couple of yellow cards, one deserved (Steven Gerrard) and one not (Jonjo Shelvey), an unintentional handball by Joe Allen at the edge of the box gave West Ham their equalizer. It was clearly unintentional but it was clearly a handball. People get this wrong all the time – it doesn’t have to be intentional to be a handball. If the hand or arm is away from the body and the ball strikes it, giving the defender an advantage from said strike, it is a handball, intentional or not. The guys at our Monday pickup game could use a lesson in this.

Eight is Enough

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If Correspondent Scott has three ideas, Correspondent Ed wants eight:

1. Dimitar Berbatov, the bossman's never-ending man-crush, is the reason to watch Fulham. He directs traffic, he calmly holds and distributes, and he scores. It remains unknown why no one other than Fulham made a run at Berbatov. You think Liverpool would benefit from him? How about Spurs? The guy led the league in scoring a few years ago for United and it turns out it wasn'tvv just because he had a good team around him. This should be obvious from anyone whose seen Bulgaria play -- Berbatov runs the show there just like he does for Fulham right now. Martin Jol is getting a lot of credit for Fulham's play this year; he's a good manager, but let's face it, it doesn't hurt to have one of the best strikers in the league on the squad.

2. Wait, what just happened at Chelsea? DiMatteo out and Rafael Benitez -- the Desperate One -- in as "interim" coach? What's the point of this again? Chelsea has all the resources in the world, but their wealthy and determined Russian kleptocrat is hurting his team with the constant changes. DiMatteo may not be one of the best coaches in the league, but he deserved a full season at least after winning the Champions League and setting his team on the right path. Benitez will be little if any improvement, and then he'll be gone. Wierd way to run a team.

3. Liverpool isn't getting too many breaks this year, and that continued against Spurs on Wednesday. The team is improving, and probably deserved at least a point in the game. But unfortunately you can say that often about the team. At the end of the day, I stand by my thoughts of an earlier post. As Bill Parcells used to say, "you are what your record says you are." I think Brendan Rodgers, Liverpool's player apologist, might want to hit his team with a little more tough love to jump start them for the rest of the season. To be honest, the BPL is more fun when Liverpool is good. Heck, it would be most fun if all the teams were good. Salary cap anyone?

4. Zlatan Ibrahimivic's goal against England is getting a lot of replay. I don't think it's as well deserved as all that. Granted, it was a bicycle kick from distance, but it was more or less lucky insofar as he was simply trying to get something on goal. Rooney's goal against Man city -- a bicycle kick volley off a corner kick, was far more impressive.

Grinding it Out: Manchester United 1 - West Ham United 0

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Q. Any notable changes to the Manchester United starting lineup to face West Ham on Wednesday?

A. Well, Sir Alex said Anderson had basically picked himself due to his performance on the weekend, and he wasn't lying. Chicharito also received a recall, joining Roo and RVP in attack. Chris Smalling partnered Jonny Evans at the back, with the two youngsters given the task of reining in West Ham's Andy Carroll.

Q. Did the home side fall behind early again?

A. Not yesterday. In fact, the two sides were only level for the first 31 seconds of the game before RVP separated them with a wonderful spin move, fancy footwork, and a fortunate deflection which looped the ball over Hammers' goalkeeper Jussi Jaaskelainen and into the net for a very quick 1-0 lead.

Q. Did the goals come flying in after the quick start?

A. Not quite. Instead, the game settled into what you might have reasonably expected at the outset: United with much of the ball and West Ham playing on the counter attack for long stretches, using their flanks to loft in crosses from the wings.

Q. Beside United lacking width to their attack, what else did you notice about the action?

A. In a week in which Anders Lidegaard said that the game needed more homosexual heroes, the multiple Movember mustaches appearing on both players and coaches lent a bit of the air of a gay porn convention to the evening's festivities.

farlieonfootie's 2nd Annual Barclay's Premier League Season Preview

Correspondent Ed Searches for His Betting Slip
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It's the middle of August, and although the European Championships and the London Olympic games took some of the edge off, real English football can't begin soon enough in our opinion.  We waited until the last possible minute to file our predictions for the upcoming season, so as not to be 'surprised' by any late moves.  Although the transfer window will remain open another two weeks, we believe the biggest move of the summer has already been made with the announcement that Manchester United finally landed their man in the person of Robin Van Persie. 

First through fourth, we'll pick them all, and we'll also take a stab at relegation and some other intriguing predictions:

2012/2013 Premier League Winners: Manchester United (did you really expect us to pick anyone else)?  Last season's runners up were nicked at the line, although you would never know this by reading the popular press, in which United finished embarassingly far off the world-beating pace set by their nosy neighbors.  The signing of the Premier League Player of the Year, as well as the Bundesliga Player of the Year, and the return of Nemanja Vidic to the starting lineup can only mean that this United squad has been significantly strengthened from the one that lost the title solely on goal difference.  And while City is strong they've largely stood pat this off-season, making no significant moves at all.  Advantage United, and we think that's more than enough to bring Fergie's men back to the top of the heap.

2012/2013 Runner's Up: Manchester City.   Despite making virtually no off-season moves, the Citizens boast the League's hardest working midfield, as well as a certain Argentine want-away who should be around for all of the club's games this season.  Combining Tevez with Aguero, Balotelli, Toure and Silva will produce more than a few fireworks both on and off the pitch, and City's All-Star lineup will be enough to see off all but the sternest of challengers.  We admire their firepower, but don't think it will measure up to a revamped United this time around.

2012/2103 Best of the Rest: Following their European triumph, Chelsea has flexed their financial muscle with the addition of Eden Hazard, Marko Marin, and Oscar.  While the midfield has been significantly strengthened -- and may now, in fact, be on par with City's -- it remains puzzling to us that the Blues have done so little to bolster their strike corps.  While Fernando Torres may indeed come good this year, what happens if he's suspended or injured?  Chelsea may need to emaulate the 'striker-less' Spain squad that won the Euros, but it's a risky strategy on which to pin your championship hopes. 

If Chelsea's third, then surely Arsenal must be fourth, correct?  Why, yes in fact, we do think Arsenal will finish fourth this season.  Sure, The World's Best Feeder ClubTM may see some growing pains -- not to the tune of 8-1, mind you -- but we've always admired Lukas Podolski, and think that Santi Cazorla might just turn out to be the second best signing of the summer.  Wenger hasn't missed a Champions League spot in years, and we don't see him doing it this time, either -- even if he does lose Alex Song to Barcelona.

Bubbling Up: West Ham United 2 - Blackpool 1

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The biggest game of the year.  More than $100 million dollars at stake for the winner.  Pressure, and lots of it.  A tremendously long and sad off-season for the loser.  The Champions League Final, you say?  No, we're talking about the Championship Playoff, which ended yesterday with West Ham fans blowing bubbles all the way back to the Premier League, overcoming a fanciful and determined Blackpool side which could easily have won the game, 2-1.  To Wembley for our Game Day Report:


o Blackpool's Matt Phillips will long regret flubbing his lines in the game's early going. The Tangerines should really have been up 2-nil before the Hammers had even a sniff of goal, but Phillips was less than cool under the big game pressure cooker, offering only a tame roller that could have doubled as a safe back pass, and then missing an open corner of the net with his second attempt. With the ageless wonder Kevin also on the pitch, Tangerine Coach Ian Holloway must have been upset that the opportunities ultimately fell to the wrong Phillips.

o By the game's half hour mark, West Ham had worked their way industriously -- if not quite as entertainingly as their opposites -- back into the game, having survived Blackpool's initial salvos. Despite finishing 11 points below the Hammers in the league table, the Tangerines looked more comfortable on the ball, confidently knocking it back and forth, and found themselves able to put it into more dangerous positions. By contrast, West Ham looked more at home on set positions -- albeit their first corner didn't come until the half hour mark was breached. Although three more followed in quick succession, West Ham found themselves unable to score, despite Blackpool 'keeper Matt Gilks doing his best impression of the Queen's royal wave as the ball flew past him in the air.

o Much maligned West Ham striker Carlton Cole did well to control the ball that led to the game's opener. Not known for his touch during his prior appearances in the Big Leagues, Cole showed every bit of composure and touch that Matt Phillips lacked in giving the Hammers a lead and growing confidence heading into the locker room.

o Paul Ince's son, Thomas, showed his footballing bona fides shortly after the re-start, showing none of the fear in front of goal displayed by his teammate earlier. Tucking the ball safely by Robert Green, Ince put a serious crimp in the plans of West Ham fans that were planning a second half-long celebration.

Upson Downs




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 As the season opener draws nears, Columnist Ian returns to our pages with some thoughts on West Ham United in general, and on a certain former Captain in particular :

A couple of years ago, in one of the transfer windows, my brother and I were discussing who we thought would be leaving West Ham. The discussion came around to Matthew Upson. “I don’t know about him,” I said to my brother. “He just doesn’t feel like a West Ham player to me.” My brother asked me what I meant by that comment. I couldn’t explain it at the time; I couldn’t quite put my finger on what it was. The best that I could explain was that I felt that he wouldn’t be a West Ham player for much longer. A couple of years later, now that West Ham’s skipper is moving to a new club, I feel like I can highlight some factors from the last couple of seasons that justify my original comment.

I would like to move on from last season and start thinking positively about the future of the club but there is still a residual bitter and angry feeling that I need to get off my chest. What is about to follow may seem like a rant and an unfair written assault on one player, but I keep trying to understand what went wrong last season. How could a group of such talented individuals get relegated? (My previous column gave some indications of the team’s failings but it still bewilders me that last season’s squad finished bottom of the pack.) To me, Matthew Upson epitomised the problems. Clearly the blame can’t be laid entirely at his feet but I feel like he, as Captain of the team, is more at fault than the majority of the other players. When something is rotten at the core, it is generally rotten throughout.

Despite him being handed the role of club Captain, there was no evidence (at least to the public) of any leadership from Matty. The following comment has been pointed out before in several other forums but how innocuous a job must Upson have been doing as cCptain that almost the entire football press referred to Scott Parker as West Ham’s Captain? Parker was widely reported to have given a rousing half-time speech that led to an unlikely comeback in the game against West Brom last season. Admittedly, Upson was unavailable for that game but was there any evidence of that kind of spirit and inspiration in any of the other games where we needed that sort of attitude and leadership? Not that I saw or read about. Some of you might argue that it was the management team’s job to motivate the team but sometimes you also need your Captain to rally the troops. He just didn’t seem to care about the club. If we were relegated then he could always just go to another club next season.

Mistakes Were Made

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In which I own up to the times when my prediction radar was slightly off:

Despite nailing the fact that Wigan would just edge out Brum in the relegation battle all the way back in mid-January, in the very same column I didn't quite manage to see how the bottom of the table would play out.  Witness this gem:

"West Ham will not be relegated.   Maybe they deserve to be, and maybe it’s just my latent sympathy for Avram Grant and our farlieonfootie columnist Ian, but I don’t think the Hammers are going down."

Umm, the worst team in the League usually gets relegated, and Hammers happened to be bottom of the table.  Guess you can't win them all.  Grade: F

Or  how about this terrific piece of football insight, from the very same column:

"...[D]espite my genuine affection for Mick McCarthy, I don’t see Wolves staying up..." 

Wrong again!  Mick's boys managed to get hot at the right time and prove me wrong.  But surely, you note, that's only two things from that fateful column you got wrong.  You didn't miss another, did you?

Popping Bubbles

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Sir Alex trots out a conservative lineup today, planned with one eye firmly on United's mid-week Champions League match against Chelsea. It's a 4-5-1 with Rooney sitting alone up top, and supported by a crowded midfield that includes Giggs, Gibson, Carrick, Valencia and -- for the first time in three months -- Park Ji-Sung.  Nemenja Vidic comes back to Captain the side and marshall the defense, and he's surrounded by Evra, Smalling and Fabio and the Pole in Goal, Tomas Kuszczak.

I'm nervous pre-match, but it's nothing compared to what my friend Paul is thinking: "Nervous?  You don't know about nervous.  Nervous is worrying about having to play against Scunthorpe and Doncaster next season!". Well said, Paul.

United are first to test the 'keeper, with Chris Smalling directing an early corner at Robert Green, but the English national team's backup is more than equal to the task. It's a scrappy start for both teams, with few real chances created in the first 10 minutes.

The mood quickly changes, and not for the better: it's horrific defending from Patrice Evra, and it's a magical long ball from Thomas Hitzlsperger that leads to the game's first goal.  Carlton Cole is shocked to find himself through on goal from the German's long hoof down the pitch, and when the subsequent ball bounces awkwardly against Evra's upraised hand, Lee Mason has no choice but to point to the spot. When Mark Noble tucks the resulting penalty away, it's 1-nil to the home side and the Boleyn Ground grows ever more boisterous.

Tying One On at The FA Cup

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If ever one needed proof that the English require marketing lessons on instilling some drama in their sporting events, look no further than the FA Cup:

Is there anyone out there that would rather see Manchester United and Manchester City playing for the FA Cup Semi-final, rather than in the ultimate game itself? I know, I know, the draw is held at "random."  But somehow I have to feel there might be a way of making this appealing match up happen the way we would all want to see it rather than the way it turned out.

Compounding the issue, the FA -- in its infinite wisdom -- has decided to stage the semis at Wembley itself, not saving that venue for the final. Kinda takes the magic out of singing "We're going to Wembley" when four sides can sing the same tune....

And I'm certain you're all -- like me -- chuffed to bits over the Stoke - Bolton Semi-final blockbuster. Uncertain if I'd watch this one in the League, let alone in the Cup. I'll have to make a snap decision, depending on how full my laundry bag is looking at gametime....  If Bolton didn't have avid tweeters (and USMNT star)  @stuholden and @kevindaviesbwfc (and his wonderful donkeys) I'm pretty damn certain I wouldn't watch at all....

And again, why does the FA hold the draw before all four teams are announced?  If you want to see a proper sports draw, take a look at the one held last night by the NCAA. That's how it's done, Mr. FA.

And herewith, some further thoughts on the weekend's Cup matches:

Lessons in Life

   
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Our Hammers' fan, Ian, returns with the latest installment of his ode to the Irons.  He would have graced our fine pages sooner but for his undercover work serving as a member of the Board of Directors of the Olympic Park Legacy Company.  Please feel free to disregard any of his Lessons as you see fit, especially Lesson #7.  Herewith, Ian:

In my previous article, I discussed how being a fan of West Ham has taught me lessons in how to live my life that I wouldn’t have learned by supporting a more successful team. It sounds like I’m obsessed but I get upset when people tell me that football is “just a game.” Actually, I have been more than upset on occasion and almost flown into a rage, swear words pouring out of my mouth. I stand by my convictions though – it is more than just a game.

I don’t say this just because it means so much to me and influences my mood so heavily. I say it because I also believe that football (and many other sports) can help develop positive character traits. This takes me back to an essay that I had to write at university on the social history of sport (I studied and loved history and needless to say, I really enjoyed writing that particular essay). I won’t bore you with too many details but one section of that essay focused on how the better-off Victorians thought that they could help decrease the violence and alcoholism of the working classes by organising sports teams. They could use sport as a tool for teaching social skills, while keeping people active and off the streets. It is no coincidence that so many English football teams started off as church teams or workplace teams, including my beloved West Ham – the Thames Ironworks F.C.

So, just to reiterate (in case I wasn’t clear enough earlier) football is and always will be more than a game to me. Without meaning to marginalise the outstanding efforts of my parents in raising me, football – and West Ham in particular - helped to form part of my character as it is today. Actually, my dad can take credit for that too because it was him (and my brother) that introduced me to the sport in the first place. The lessons that I have learned are certainly not all totally from the school of football (again, my parents take most of the credit) but football has definitely reinforced those lessons through the years. Anyway, what have I learned?

Fool's Gold

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Herewith, some nuggets of gold after panning through the weeks' activites in the EPL:

• Newboy Luis Suarez' playing style seems straight out of the Carlos Tevez playbook. Although Liverpool skipper Stevie G. believes the Toothsome-one will improve when he adjusts to the speed of the English game, I suggest that it might be more critical for Suarez to do the opposite: slow down and think about what he's doing rather than run around the pitch like a chicken with his head cut off.

• Anyone else think it's strange to be bringing an air-powered rifle to the office?  Apparently not Ashley Cole. Although he reportedly seemed surprised when it discharged into an intern from only a few feet away, perhaps it was due to his shock at hitting the intended target -- a relative rarity for the Chelsea left back this season.

Going Down

photo by Gideon Tsang	via PhotoRee

Now that the season’s finish line is beginning to hazily appear, as if a mirage still several miles off, it’s time for a semi-famous prediction about how it’s all going to end.  Not for the guys at the top of the table – far too much import in that, and a massive game in hand tomorrow night at Bloomfield Road, which could see United clinging narrowly to a two point lead over the Gunners, or vaulting out to a five point advantage over their nearest rivals.  No, I’m talking about the race for the bottom, for relegation.   It’s just about as interesting, and much more competitive than the race for the title, with arguably as many as ten teams involved.

Let’s start the predictions off with some fireworks: West Ham will not be relegated.   Maybe they deserve to be, and maybe it’s just my latent sympathy for Avram Grant and our farlieonfootie columnist Ian, but I don’t think the Hammers are going down.  And let’s face it: how bold would I really be if I picked the Hammers to fall into the Championship?  If leadership is about having vision, this prediction could look spectacularly good or bad in four month’s time.  In any event, I see the Hammers rallying behind Frederique Piquiounne, Jonathan Spector, and – you guessed it—Scotty Parker to cling, just barely, to their status as a Premier League Club.  This weekend’s draw at Goodison Park was a nice result on the road for West Ham, and their form over their last six matches is actually twelfth best in the league.  Not tops certainly, but not relegation-bound, either.

Keeping It in the Family

 Bobby Moore Statue, Boleyn Ground, Upton Park 
photo by gavindjharper	via PhotoRee

farlieonfootie is very pleased to introduce its newest columnist, Ian, a long-suffering fan of West Ham United based in Houston, Texas.  I know, I know -- it didn't make sense to me, either, but I have a better appreciation for Ian's plight (and some sympathy for his situation) after reading his knowledgeable and passionate piece.  The whole thing's almost enough to turn me into a West Ham fan -- but let's not get carried away.  Without further ado, here's Ian:

 

As this is my first column/blog, I had better introduce myself – I am an Essex boy living in Texas and I am an avid West Ham fan. By way of that introduction/confession, I almost feel like I’m attending an alcoholics anonymous meeting but … I am not ashamed at being a West Ham fan or an Essex boy. OK, maybe I’m a little bit ashamed of the Essex part but I am proud to hold my head high as a West Ham fan. I was born into a West Ham family – I really had no choice in my team but I’m glad that I ended up following the boys in claret and blue. I warn you now that I tend to go on a bit when I start writing so be prepared for a lengthy piece of script.

I started off at 5 years old watching the reserves in action. I think my dad felt that if the professionals had to work their way through the reserves before getting to the first team, then it was only right that his son do the same. Either that or he was giving some thought to the fact that it was the early 1980s and hooliganism was still rampant and not a great thing for a 5 year old boy to be around. Soon enough though, I was promoted to the first team and never looked back from there. I was gripped. I knew so many (irrelevant) statistics about the players at that age that my brother and older cousins used to joke with me and asked if I knew the players’ shoe sizes. Wow – how I wished that I did! My parents recently gave me some of my school work that they had kept from when I was a young ‘un. Almost every “news” story that I wrote was about West Ham. I lived for the weekends when I would get another chance to hero worship Billy Bonds, Trevor Brooking, Alvin Martin, Alan Devonshire, Ray Stewart, Phil Parkes, Frank Lampard (the original and best one, not the younger, fatter, bigger-headed one), et al.

Now I find myself with a difficult task. I am a father now too -my boy just turned six months old and I feel that I will fail as a West Ham fan if he does not grow up to be a West Ham fan too.  My brother (who lives in Florida) has a son too (a 12 year old) and he is a West Ham fan … kind of. He has the shirt and if you were to ask him who he supports, he’d tell you that he’s a Hammers fan but I see him as a pseudo West Ham fan. Living in Texas I don’t get to see him often but I’m pretty sure that he does not get up every Saturday morning with his heart pounding and race towards the TV to watch the game. If we lose, does he get upset and slump into a bad mood for the rest of the day? I doubt it. What I’m suggesting is that he doesn’t live and breathe West Ham. I want my son to feel the same way about the Irons as I do. I want him to be passionate about many things in life but especially passionate about the Hammers. I don’t want him to be upset about a West Ham defeat or happy about a win purely because I am – I want him to have his own strong emotions about the outcome of the game. I want him to be as angry as I am when someone tells me “cheer up – it’s only a game”. It’s more than a game to me – it sets my mood for the week until the next game. For anyone reading this in the UK, you don’t understand how difficult it will be for me to bring my son up with the same obsession for West Ham. Here are the challenges that I face:

Helter Skelter

photo by p_a_h	via PhotoRee

Just a quick editorial aside to make room for the latest news before today's blog.  I think all regular readers of the blog will recognize that I'm biased (see yesterday's blog entry for an example), so take it for what you want.  


The headlines out of Manchester and London were consumed yesterday with the news of Carlos Tevez' written demand to leave Manchester City during the January transfer window.  I won't re-hash old news except to say "I told you so."  The guy is a malcontent from the word "Go," and one of those types for whom the grass is always greener somewhere else.  Call me slow, but I realized this when United gave Tevez (or his agent, the ultra-shady Kia Joorabchian) his ostensible asking price, only to be repaid with a refusal to sign and a move across town.  As far as I'm concerned, it's good riddance to Tevez, and Sir Alex has once again proved why he's among the smartest minds in world football.  See ya later, Carlos; enjoy playing for Boca Juniors, and we'll see you in 'El Superclasico' real soon.   


I spent the better part of my day going from football match to football match today; most of the games I saw happened to be in the Premier League, but not all of them.  In fact, the most special game I witnessed took place in the middle of my day, but I'll come back to that a little later.


First of all, the facts, plain and #simples, as they say: it may be cold wherever you're reading this, but in South Florida it's all sunny blue sky and 71 degrees (21.6 degrees celsius, for those of you scoring from England).  Nice and cool in the shade, but a bit hotter out in the sun.  All in all, though, not too shabby for a mid-December Saturday; kind of puts you in the Christmas mood....


Unlike many of you, we get our games in the morning and early afternoon over here in the eastern part of the US.  So it's often wake up for breakfast, turn on the tv, and start watching to begin the weekend.  Because there was no noon-time GMT kickoff today, I got to sleep in, and enjoyed a nice cup of coffee and quick read of the papers before the action got rolling.


To begin the day I managed to catch about a quarter of Bayern Munich's game against St. Pauli (somwhat confusingly, I thought St. Pauli was a beer, and not a football club based in Hamburg; I guess you really do learn something new each day).  I managed to catch just enough of the game to whet my appetite for EPL football, but when I saw Bastian Schweinsteiger's fine layoff lead to an early goal for the men from Munich, it made it all that much more bitter when I read the news later in the day that Schweini had signed a five year extension to stay at Bayern.  I was genuinely hoping he'd end up in Manchester by summer's end.