From Under the Couch: Manchester United 4 - Reading FC 3

photo by dickuhne	via PhotoRee

o O'fer 141 years against The Red Devils shouldn't give Reading a whole lot of confidence coming into the match. 

o Nevertheless, it's more of the same to begin the match: less than ten minutes gone and Reading ahead 1-nil. A failure to clear the ball gave Lindegaard no chance whatsoever.

o The equalizer took only six minutes, and the go ahead goal only two minutes more. Sixteen minutes in and it's 2-1 to the visitors. Anderson buries a perfectly weighted Ashley Young pass to pull the Reds level, and Wayne Rooney slots home a penalty after Jonny Evans is bundled over in the box.

o Less than 20 minutes gone and we're back to level again. Lifelong United fan Adam Le Fondre is left all alone to nod in a corner and pull Reading back into the match. It looks as if its going to be one of those days....

o Yup, it definitely going to be one of those days. By minute 23 Reading is back on top: another corner, another goal, and the Reds are behind. Again. 

o What the hell happened to the defense today? And where and what the hell was Lindegaard drinking last night...?!

o It's Rooney to pull things level again at the half hour mark. Thirty minutes played and six goals scored. 

o Five minutes later and Robin Van persie is on the scoreboard to put United back on top.  This IS English football. It's also a defensive embarrassment.

Grinding it Out: Manchester United 1 - West Ham United 0

photo by jasleen_kaur	via PhotoRee

Q. Any notable changes to the Manchester United starting lineup to face West Ham on Wednesday?

A. Well, Sir Alex said Anderson had basically picked himself due to his performance on the weekend, and he wasn't lying. Chicharito also received a recall, joining Roo and RVP in attack. Chris Smalling partnered Jonny Evans at the back, with the two youngsters given the task of reining in West Ham's Andy Carroll.

Q. Did the home side fall behind early again?

A. Not yesterday. In fact, the two sides were only level for the first 31 seconds of the game before RVP separated them with a wonderful spin move, fancy footwork, and a fortunate deflection which looped the ball over Hammers' goalkeeper Jussi Jaaskelainen and into the net for a very quick 1-0 lead.

Q. Did the goals come flying in after the quick start?

A. Not quite. Instead, the game settled into what you might have reasonably expected at the outset: United with much of the ball and West Ham playing on the counter attack for long stretches, using their flanks to loft in crosses from the wings.

Q. Beside United lacking width to their attack, what else did you notice about the action?

A. In a week in which Anders Lidegaard said that the game needed more homosexual heroes, the multiple Movember mustaches appearing on both players and coaches lent a bit of the air of a gay porn convention to the evening's festivities.

Things Get Sticky As United Defeat Norwich City

Photo by SanFranAnnie on Flickr

It's a sticky situation at Old Trafford Saturday, as David De Gea is left out of the starting lineup, perhaps in retribution for his alleged donut stealing incident at Tesco earlier in the week, and Anders Lindegaard is handed the keys to the United goalmouth. Ashley Young is rested, too, angering hordes of fantasy football managers around the globe, but secretly pleasing owners of Ji-Sung Park, who is preferred in midfield to the former Villan. Despite United fans' pessimism earlier in the week, Wayne Rooney partners Chicharito up front, and the Reds' top striker partnership will be licking their lips in anticipation of goals against the newly promoted Canaries of Norwich City. United loanee Richie De Laet, a stalwart in Norwich's season to date, is ineligible to play, which should theoretcially further ease United's task in the blazing sunshine that greets kickoff.

United begin the contest with a couple of early turnovers, one by Anderson combined with a poor clearance by Lindegaard, leading to some early pressure from the visitors. The Reds' offense is slow to kick into action today, and the first ten minutes are notable only for the lack of any real opportunities for the home side save a tame Wayne Rooney roller toward goal.

Playing against type, Norwich continue to look the more threatening of the two sides, causing problems with their big men up front, and creating chances over the top and through the middle.  Things are not quite so pleasant on the Reds' side of the pitch, as several members of the home crowd begin to show their vocal disapproval of the Reds' continued struggles with sustained possesion after the twenty minute mark is reached.

The home side pick up their attacking intent near the half hour mark, if it's possible to do so without appearing threatening in the least.  It's a particularly toothless attack from the champions today, and the most optimistic fan can only surmise that they are saving their energy for the second half.

I Have a Feeling I've Seen This Movie Before

photo by ScypaxPictures	via PhotoRee

Another game, another lackadaisical opening 60 minutes of football.  The end result?  Another win for United in a season full of games strikingly similar to the the FA Cup tie vs. Southampton played earlier this afternoon.  Ryan Giggs and Nani's introduction near the hour mark changed the game in favor of the Reds, and Michael Owen and Chicharito did the damage in a 2-1 game that was even more uncomfortable than the scoreline suggests.


Sir Alex sent out a mix of veteran and youngish talent to take on the Saints at St. Mary's Stadium, in a side that included United new boy Anders Lindegaard between the sticks, and the initial results from the team were not pleasing.  For the better part of an hour, United looked dull, listless, plodding, and totally lacking anything approaching a cutting edge -- looking closer to a spoon than a knife -- and lacked quality and accuracy on their passing (I would add to that "shooting," but there was such a paucity of offense during the first hour that to use the word would stretch the definition beyond an appropriate level).

Nero Fiddles While Ronaldo Burns

photo by beggs	via PhotoRee

Just arrived back at the home office after a quick jaunt to Rome -- the farlieonfootie corporate jet sure comes in handy these days..... I spent the better part of last evening engaged in an engrossing discussion with a top european football correspondent, in a shameless attempt to convince him to jump ship and join our global footie empire.  We sat out late, eating and drinking under the stars -- has anyone else noticed that Jupiter is visible to the naked eye right now? -- and talking Serie A and La Liga until the wee, small hours of the morning. Time will tell if our man was convinced by the lavish pay package and extensive corporate benefits, as well as the opportunity to profit from our strong corporate brand and global reach, but you -- like me -- will just have to wait and see, fingers crossed. 

More later, and now onto the good stuff:

What?  That Release Was Supposed to Go Out Tomorrow?  The cat is out of the bag on Anders Lindegaard, the 6 foot 4 inch Danish shot blocker who appears to be Manchester United's newest signing. Although the deal isn't official yet, someone forgot to tell the Public Relations staff at Aalesund FK, Lindegaard's current club in Norway, who posted this web page yesterday announcing the deal by mistake. Apparently, the terms between the clubs have already been worked out, with the Reds shelling out €3.5 million to bring on the Dane, and now only the details of Lindegaard's personal contract need to be ironed out, and a physical needs to be passed, before the move will take effect. 






Although it doesn't appear that the 26 yeard old will be the presumptive #1 when VDS retires, the signing would seem to indicate that Tomasz Kuszczack is on his way out of Manchester.  Word continues to be mixed on whether the ultimate replacement for the big Dutchman will be the 20 year-old David de Gea, or the oft-injured but world class Gigi Buffon.  Here's hoping it's the Spaniard; I really like that guy.

Stop Italian Racism Now.  Mario Balotelli was booed by his own fans Wednesday night as Italy played Austria in a friendly (I'm quite certain Balotelli was thinking "With friends like that, who needs enemies?").  A crowd of approximately one hundred right wing Italian extremists taunted Balotelli during the match, as well as held a banner which contained the inspiring message "No to a multiethnic national team."  


Balotelli -- who was born in Italy of Ghanaian descent -- responded to the jeers after the game with the following statement:

"I was very disappointed yesterday, and I didn't want to say anything. The only sure thing is that I alone can't do anything. Everyone needs to do something against racism." 

We couldn't agree more, so we'll do our small part: Stop Racism Now.  There's no place for it in football, or in the real world, either.  Period.  Full stop.

He's Baaack.  Wayne Rooney could return this weekend against Wigan Athletic, according to multiple published reports, including this one from The Guardian's Daniel Taylor (who would appear to be a nice guy, and impressively, actually responds to tweets @DTGuardian).  Who knows if Rooney will actually play, but he did have an impressive week of training at Camp Nike in Oregon, according to Sir Alex.  

Rooney also came back appreciably lighter: half a stone.  Being the ugly American, I have no idea what that equates to in pounds -- although I do know that Rooney's bank account was fattened up by about a £1 million of them since he signed the new contract last month, despite the fact that he's yet to even step on the pitch since that time.

Finally, I'll Leave You With This Piece of Brilliance.  Did you manage to catch this candidate for goal of the year by @Cristiano on Wednesday?  Too bad it was disallowed. Ronaldo made Casillas look like an absolute amateur, and that's not something you can say (or even write) very often.  As it is, after watching the replay multiple times, I have two questions:

1) What in the world was Luis Nani thinking?  It's a good thing he apologized, because there was absolutely no need for him to touch the ball -- it was already in the net by the time Nani put his head to it.  I'd be furious, too, if I was Ronaldo, which I'm not.


And that brings up question 2) When are we getting goal line technology?  Because that ball was well over the line when Nani headed it.   Well over the line, much like many of our prior columns.  Here it is once again, for your viewing pleasure:



This is farlieonfootie for November 20.