Positively Funereal: Round 26 in the BPL

photo by e³°°°	via PhotoRee

The Round may not be complete but it's good enough for us.  Our thoughts on Round 26 in the BPL:

o The atmosphere at Stamford Bridge was positively funereal on Saturday, despite the home side's 4-1 victory win. Both managers dressed in black and the crowd showed its respect by dutifully observing more than 85 minutes of silence during the match. We guess three victories in nine home games will do that to you.

o Meanwhile, over in another erstwhile challenger's camp, Joe Hart's form continues to deteriorate. At the rate he's plummeting Roy Hodgson may be tempted to give Robert Green another shot at grabbing the England number one kit.

o Gareth Barry had a Man of the Match performance for the Southampton Saints with a fine assist and an exquisite, composed finish to put Manchester City's season in critical condition.  We didn't realize Barry had that type of finishing in his game -- as in putting a finish to City's title defense.

o Meanwhile, Yaya Toure showed he's no Joe Willie Namath with his bold prediction that the momentum in the title race would swing City's way upon his return. Looking a toothless version of the dominating midfielder who went off to the African Cup, Toure was three steps off the pace and played as if his plane still hadn't landed yet.

Mind Dump

photo by Michel Filion	via PhotoRee

o Santi Cazorla flying 10,000 miles round trip to warm up a seat on the Spanish bench.... The USMNT playing in Russia.... What is the purpose of these mid-week friendly internationals, and who exactly are they benefitting? Designed primarily to line the pockets of their respective football federations, the games are useless and should be banned.

o What's up with Joe Hart? The World's Best Goalkeeper™ has had some real clankers lately and surrendered some very soft goals. It can't be inspiring much confidence among his teammates, who have to be hoping that the patchy spell passes soon.

o And does Hart get a free pass from the English press just because he's English? While we won't comment on that directly, let's ask a clarifying question: Imagine the reaction if that had been David De Gea?!

o Christian Benteke may be decent with the ball at his feet, but the guy is clearly not the brightest star in the firmament. After admitting he thought Villa was a London-based club, the Belgian international must have been somewhat surprised when he stepped off the tarmac in Birmingham ("Hey, where'a Big Ben?").

o Compounding his ignorance, Benteke was recently quoted speaking longingly about his love for the Arsenal.... Luckily for him, the Villans are on the road this week -- we can't wait to hear the warm welcome he receives next time he steps onto the pitch at Villa Park.

Twenty Questions

photo by Todd Kravos	via PhotoRee

Just because Correspondent Ed is so damn curious....

1.  How does United go from great (start of season) to awful (lose to Swiss Miss) to great again (two 5-nil wins) to awful again (losses to Blackburn and Newcastle)?


2.  When did Everton and Bolton become Championship division teams?


3.  Why does no one appreciate how good Clint Dempsey is except Fulham?


4.  Could Joe Hart be the best keeper in the world right now?  Is it even close for second?


5.  Will Spurs actually squeeze ahead of Manchester United this year?


6.  Swansea's players are tiny tiny good, and aren't they the Blackpool of 2011 except that they will stay up?


7.  When did Liverpool become Aston Villa, and when did Aston Villa become Wolves?


8.  The best thing to happen to Everton lately was picking up Landon Donovan, but will that be the worst thing to happen to Landon Donovan?


9.  Shouldn't goals scored by the keeper -- like the one scored by Tim Howard this week -- count for 4 times as many points as goals by forwards?


10.  Is it mean to note that Fernando Torres now only has two more goals this year than Tim Howard?

From Russia With Love

Actual View from farlieonfootie Correspondent Ed's Accomodations in Siberia
photo by diasUndKompott	via PhotoRee

November 15, 2010/ Minsk, Russia

It’s a cold one today here in the former USSR, and as I finish up my research for a future three-part docu-drama blog for farlieonfootie on FC Dynamo Minsk, I thought it might be about time to publish the first quarter All-Ed team.  What does it take to be a member of this coveted group?  Well, great play, style, toughness, and as regular readers of my columns already know, more than one name. 

So these are the guys I want to go to battle with for the rest of the EPL season.  We’re a little weak at the back – as is the whole of the EPL this season – but hey, no one likes watching those nil - nil games anyhow.  My guys are going to play attacking footie, and put some numbers on the board.  And at while my coach wants to go with the 4-3-3, we’ve got to do what matches our talent best, and go with the 4-4-1-1:

1.    The Tick.   One might at first think that Didier Drogba would be the obvious choice for striker – the size, speed, stats and ominous name would seem to put him over the top.  But I prefer Carlos Tevez -- the little guy who tells Man United he’s the best striker on the team and then goes out and proves it.       

Bottoms up!

The Calm Before the Storm. Although it's been eight days since we last saw Manchester United in action, don't worry too much.  I know the international break seems painful, but relief is in sight.  Starting next Saturday, the boys in red will play nine games in 27  days, or for those of you who are less fortunate in the math department, once every three days for almost four weeks.  Sure, this encompasses EPL, Champions League and Carling Cup action, but so what. I, for one, am ready for some footie.

Photo by Thomas Duchnicki :: Location Scout via Photoree

Rio isn't Pipped.  For those familar with US Major League Baseball lore, Wally Pipp was the NY Yankee first baseman who allegedly sat out of the lineup one day due to a headache (never mind the inconvenient fact that the "headache" was actually a concussion due to a fractured skull resulting from Pipp being hit by a batting practice pitch) and never played again due to the quality of his replacement -- the replacement in question being Lou Gehrig, the original Iron Man of sports, natch.  In any event, suffice it to say that it's not Rio's fate to be "pipped" by Stevie G for the England captaincy, as England's coach, Fabio Capello, finally made the correct decision and handed the armband back to Ferdinand.

Gazza Caught Drunk Driving -- Again.  Not that this semi-annual occurrence is news, but rather a question.  Why do the English call it "drink driving," while the Americans call it "drunk driving"?  Anyone?

Joe Hart Likes Jägermeister.  A lot, apparently.  Although it's not straight out of your typical coach's handbook, English goalie Joe Hart got ready for his upcoming match against Montenegro the old-fashioned way: by getting rip-roaringly drunk and staying out until 5am.  In a move sure to anger Coach Fabio Capello, but no doubt delight the shareholders of Mast-Jägermeister, the makers of the Jägermeister brand of digestif, the English 'keeper danced on a bar and downed shots with his buddies until just hours before meeting up with his English teammates.  Uncle Harry Redknapp perhaps summed up the issue best when he explained that the problem with English footballers isn't the quality, it's the drinking.

It's 5 o'clock somewhere (but not here, unfortunately), and I'm farlieonfootie for October 11.