Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Walker, Texas Ranger

photo by Brian L. Romig/ running behind on comments-sorryvia PhotoRee

Texas Hold 'Em.  "Now I don't know how y'all administer your laws over  there in Old Europe, nor do I really care, but here in the Lone Star Republic of Tejas we have a different way of administering justice: we like to settle our disputes with a six-shooter.  Barring that, we work hard to 'fix' the decisions so they come out the way we like 'em."  Thus (or something reasonably approximating thus) read the decision today of Judge Jim Jordan of the 160th District Court of the United States, as he issued a temporary restraining order blocking Liverpool's proposed sale to New England Sports Ventures. 

With language borrowed directly from a 19th century western cattle dispute, Hicks and Gillette accused the Liverpool Board and the Royal Bank of Scotland of carrying out an "epic swindle" in an attempt to undervalue the club by hundreds of millions of dollars and wipe out their equity value. I can't say I'm an expert on the merits of either side's legal arguments, but Hicks and Gillete would seem to have a point, as rival bids from Peter Lim and Mill Financial both appear to offer more money for the Scousers.  There's no telling how or when the dispute will be settled, but I'll give Liverpool Chairman Martin Broughton this warning right now (as my friend B Leg would no doubt attest): Don't Mess with Texas.

My Sentiments Exactly.  Kudos to our footie friends at Caught Offside for identifying Gareth Barry for what he truly is: a crab in disguise.  I don't understand Signoris Cappello and Mancini's fascination with the guy; to me he's useless.  You like seeing the ball passed backwards and sideways? Gareth's your man.  You want to see attacking, creative football?  Not so much....  And to make matters worse, he's not just on the pitch: he's the guy controlling the game plan!  I can only hope Man City continues to play him regularly: 90 minutes week in, week out, for Gareth Barry in sky blue and I'll be a happy man.

Owen Who?  Forgive recent Manchester United fans for not knowing much about the multi-talented Owen Hargreaves, the Canadian turned Englishman who was formerly one of the world's best holding midfielders.  Lost to knee tendinitis and resulting surgeries for almost two years, it now appears that Hargreaves long-rumored comeback may be imminent.  Or not.  We'll have to wait and see -- with fingers triple crossed.

Did I Miss Hell Freezing Over Last Night?  FIFA Head Honcho Sepp Blatter praised English football as a "leader" in anti-hooligan security, and said the rest of the world had some serious catching up to do to reach the high standard set by "the motherland of football." 

Although I thought that the flares, fireworks, brawling and knife cutting seen last night in Serbia were a normal part of the game in other countries, apparently they aren't.  Only the fireworks and flares are standard.  The brawling and knife cutting were new additions, brought on in part by Hilary Clinton.  Seriously.

Apologies in Advance to My Friend Mark for appropriating his analysis without asking his permission, but I thought his assessment of last night's dreary US - Colombia (with an "o" @landondonovan) nil-nil draw was spot on:

"Ugly game last night. This team’s problem are the same ones we saw in the Cup: too many players in the same position. Three defensive midfielders. Three guys who should be the second forward. No left half.  No offensive midfielder, and now problems at center back to boot. Bob Bradley’s vision of his own son will mess this team up. If he’s our lead creative guy we are limited."  Indeed.  Couldn't have said it better myself.

So I won't.  Instead, I'll just say this: I'm farlieonfootie for October 14.

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