Around The World in 80 Keystrokes

Getting pretty thin here in advance of the coming weekend's internationals.  Saw that Brazil beat Iran 3-nothing earlier today, although I don't believe that actually qualifies as news.

Lost in Translation.  Kiko Macheda was quoted today in famed Italian sports mag Gazzetta dello Sport as calling teammate Wayne Rooney "crass and vulgar."  Elsewhere, Macheda's remark were translated as calling Rooney a "chav."  I'm not sure either of those translations are correct, or furthermore what the latter term even means.  I highly doubt Macheda actually used the term "crass" or "vulgar," as only a true englishman would use such formal language to describe a fun-loving rogue like Rooney, and I refuse to believe that the term "chav" is actually English.  Sounds more like Italian to me.....  I think the actual term that Macheda used was "coatto," but as you'll recall that I am still searching night and day for a suave Italian correspondent who can sit idly by while wearing a sleek black Armani suit, smoke cigarettes in a bored-with-the-world type manner, and sleep with American women while reading Gazzetta dello Sport and translating Italian football interviews for farlieonfootie, I don't have a definitive handle on the story at this juncture.

Great Football Story, Even Better Personal Story.  ESPN the Magazine features a great story this week on the comeback of US Mens' National Team forward Charlie Davies.  Chronicling his remarkable recovery from a life-threatening crash almost a year ago, the story is an uplifting read on the powers of belief and determination.  Nothing funny to add here, but definitely worth your time to read.

photo by mikebrown59	via PhotoRee

The Man United Goal is Becoming a Crowded Place.  Here's another name to add to the list of the many goalkeepers United is supposedly "keeping tabs" on: Gigi Buffon.  Don't know where he's going to fit, as United has already "earmarked" David De Gea of Atletico, Igor Akinfeev of CSKA's Army Men, and Aalesund's Anders Lindegaard among others to replace current starter Edwin Van der Sar, who appears ready to retire at season's end.  Not that any of those rumors will sit well with the present heir apparent, Thomas Kuszczak.

Calling Albert de Salvo to the Witness Stand, Please; We Need a Character Reference on David Berkowitz.  The latest player to stand up in defense of Nigel De Jong is none other than legbreaker Ryan Shawcross of Stoke City, one of the kings of the au courant "stuck in" style of defending.  Aaron Ramsey of Arsenal would have been happy to stand up for De Jong, too, if only Shawcross' shocking tackle that ended his season last year made it hard for Ramsey to stand up for much of anything at all these days.  For good measure, Shawcross also backed  Wolves' Karl Henry in the same interview.  Henry, you'll recall, not only broke Bobby Zamora's leg a few weeks back, he was involved just this past week in this lovely little piece of defending.   Can you imagine the bloodshed that would occur if these three ever played on the same team?

And that's farlieonfootie for October 8.

The Liverpool Red Sox and Other Assorted Strange and Wonderful Stories

Photo by Nigel Wilson via Photoree





 News out of the Liverpool Board Room livened up the end of an otherwise slow day:

The Liverpool Red Sox?!  News emerged today of a major development in the battle for control of Liverpool FC, with one of the two bids received by the Board said to be coming from the owners of Major League Baseball's Boston Red Sox.  Although led by the quant hedge fund manager John Henry, the potential ownership group also includes former Cosby Show Producer Tom Werner, as well as The Gray Lady of American journalism, the New York Times.  I can already see the plot for a new show developing nicely: the Curse of the Bambino strikes on Merseyside.  I for one would be fairly well satisfied with an 86-year drought between Liverpool's last League title and their next one....

This isn't the Pot Calling the Kettle Black, it's the Pot Calling the Kettle White.  Whadda joke: Mark van Bommel defends Nigel de Jong.  One of the world's dirtiest players defends another.  This is like Jack the Ripper calling Ted Bundy as a character witness. I think it could actually be done, but it would require Michael J. Fox to drive the DeLorean through the space-time continuum.

That Wasn't the Sound of the Net Ripping?  No, apparently it was Chelsea defender Alex's thigh that ended up in shreds, with the injury most likely induced by his cannon-like strike against Arsenal on Saturday.  [Ed note: I fid it a bit ironic that the goal reminded me of a cannon strike, and Arsenal's logo on the weekly EPL preview show is an animated cannon blasting away from a fortified rampart.  Maybe Chelsea should assume the logo now?]  The Brazilian defender will now miss a couple of international matches and at least one league match as he recuperates.

Them's Fighting Words.  In an interview that no doubt deserves a locker room post-up, Michael Essien claims that City are now Chelsea's closest title rivals.  My sense is that a certain red team in Manchester may have something to say about this before all is said and done this season.

Loving it.  Speaking of the Citizens, it seems all is not well in the blue half of Manchester, as reports have emerged of a loud halftime bust-up between Roberto Mancini and Carlos Tevez.  Frustrated with Mancini's cantenacio-style of Italian football, the Citizen's captain got physical with the head coach during the interval of the Newcastle - City match on Sunday.  Surprise, surprise -- Tevez is not happy with how his coach would like to play him.  Does this ring a bell for anyone?

Maybe I'm Missing Something, but Didn't This Guy Just Re-up for Four More Years?  Ridiculous Transfer Rumor du jour: Gareth Bale to Manchester United.  Obviously nothing better to print on a slow news day in the UK.

Surely, News of Dennis Bergkamp's Return Can't Be Far Behind.  Apparently Robert Pires is currently working out with Arsenal.  Too early to tell if this will turn into Pires' return to the fold at Arsenal, a la Sol Campbell, or whether he's just trying to create some media attention in order to help his re-entry back into French football after leaving Spanish side Villareal.

As if Uncle Roy's Problems Weren't Large Enough Already, Now This.  Word has emerged that Liverpool striker Fernando Torres has suffered a recurrence of the groin injury that sidelined him for much of last season and the World Cup.  Having to rely on Dirk Kuyt and David N'Gog for offense would not seem to offer the most obvious path back to the top of the League.  I'm thinking Roy's time on Merseyside is about to expire.

And so am I.  That's farlieonfootie for October 6th.

Spanning the Globe

I Wonder if the Insurance Policy Covers Excrement?  Turns out the pipe that exploded above the United locker room at the Stadium of $hite wasn't a water pipe, but a sewage pipe.  Hello?  My new Armani suit, ruined?  And you wonder why the United players  seemed distracted for the first half of the game against Sunderland on Saturday?  Poor guys had to play about 10 minutes just to earn enough to buy replacements....

How Much More Does Adam Johnson Need To Do To Earn a Place in City's Starting 11...?  The guys scores his team's only goal in the mid-week Europa League clash against Juve, and then comes on in a 19 minute cameo against Newcastle yesterday to score the winning goal (and, I'm glad to say -- solely for the sake of my Fantasy League Team -- pick up all 3 bonus points for the match).   And this for a team that is not exactly lighting up the scoreboard with goals....  I'm guessing he's going to need to score at least two to three times per game instead of his usual one in order to replace the deadly-boring Gareth Bale or WWF escapee Nigel de Jong. Apparently Roberto Mancini prefers stacking his side with holding mid-fielders than guys who are actually capable of providing offense.

Another Week, Another Broken Leg. Seems par for the course in the EPL this season; I'm beginning to wonder if it's contagious, like the flu.  This past weekend it was Newcastle's Hatem Ben Arfa who sustained a  serious and unfortunate injury. Like Antonio Valencia and Bobby Zamora before him, it looks as if another emerging star has been cruelly cut down just as he was beginning to capture the public's eye. Let's hope the scene with the stretcher is not the last we see of Ben Arfa in the EPL, although there's a good chance it will be as he is currently on just a one-year loan to Newcastle from Ligue 1 side Marseille.

With Friendlies Like This, Who Needs Enemies-lies?  The tackle on Ben Arfa came courtesy of City's Nigel de Jong, and caused an almost five minute stoppage in play to get oxygen and a stretcher onto the pitch and Ben Arfa off it. This is the same Nigel de Jong who tatooed his treadmarks on the chest of Xabi Alonso  during this summmer's World Cup final, and earlier broke American Stu Holden's ankle with a heavy tackle in a pre-World Cup "friendly."  How many more bones does this guy need to break before attracting the referees' attention?  Although City Assistant Coach Brian Kidd apparently saw nothing wrong with de Jong's tackle, I'm glad to report that Dutch Coach Bert van Marwijk did, branding the tackle "wild and unnecessary," and refusing to recall de Jong for this week's Dutch international matches.  Well done, Bert.


photo by The Real Darren Stone	via PhotoRee

What?  No Photos with Hotties in Dirndls?  Bayern Munich's start to the season has been so poor that the team cancelled its annual outing to the city's Oktoberfest and instead handed the players extra training sessions. Lying in 13th place in der Bundesliga, with three losses in seven games, apparently caused panic and sobriety to break out in the capital of Bavaria. I'm glad to report that team management is focused on the root causes of Bayern's poor play and not looking petty or appearing to grope for answers to the team's poor recent play.

Who Played the Part of Emmanuel Adabayor?  Bahrain hosted the country of Togo in a recent international friendly, and won easily, 3-nil.  One possible reason for the Bahraini's semi-famous victory is that  the Togo squad was filled with impostors who ran out of gas in the second half.  Yup, that's right: everyone on the pitch for Togo, from the manager on down, was a fake.  And to think I was unable to come up with a viable reason for Togo's poor play as I watched the match.  Goes to show you that you need to approach this week's coming international matches with a slightly jaundiced eye.  And that's farlieonfootie for October 4th.