Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Jonjo and Jerry: Liverpool 2 - Swansea City 2

photo by Joe Shlabotnikvia PhotoRee

Shiny-domed and brimming with energy, Jonjo Shelvey started Swansea’s game against Liverpool with a mighty whiff from outside the 18 that looked straight out of a Tom and Jerry cartoon.  Fortunately for him, just like Tom, he carried on as if nothing had happened and, after a slight touch to his right, unleashed a rocket that bounced off the Slovakian wall known as Martin Skrtel.  This being Looney Tunes land, of course that bounce found its way back to Jonjo Tom who pounced on it and, with poise and touch miles apart from his first attempt at the 18, slid the ball to his left foot and then calmly finished past the previously impenetrable Simon Mignolet.

Still dazed by his good fortune, and the smiley faces circling over his head, his no-look back pass was perfectly read by the poaching Daniel Sturridge who smashed the happy halo to pieces with his left foot.  Poor Jonjo went from Hero to Zero in the space of minutes and was reduced to literally smacking himself on the side of the head.  Unfortunately, Jonjo should have read those concussion warnings that get sent out to the youth soccer teams these days.  He was clearly still showing symptoms when, in the 36th minute, he inexplicably passed the ball directly to Liverpool new-boy Victor Moses at midfield.  The Nigerian thanked the hapless Jonjo by cavorting to the 18 and firing into the left corner.

Alas, as I mentioned, this is Looney Tunes land and if we can’t have a happy ending, we at least need some parity.  As such, messieurs Hanna and Barbera sketched a scene in the 64th minute where Jonjo deftly headed down to the advancing Michu who made no mistake with his one-time finish that leveled the score.  That strike swung the pendulum of momentum so far to the home side that, for the next 25 minutes, Liverpool personified Jerry clinging to a curtain with his nails, while the hungry Jonjo Tom waited below with mouth agape.  Swansea passed and shot and poked and prodded while Liverpool cleared and lunged and gasped and bungled.  But just when Jerry’s nails had unavoidably cut the fabric to lower him now within reach of the salivating Jonjo Tom and his fellow felines….. a stuttering pig halted the proceedings and saved both a dangling rodent and a point for Liverpool.

This is farlieonfootie for September 18.  

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