Monday, January 6, 2014

David Moyes in Quotes: Swansea City 2 - Manchester United 1, With Player Ratings

Rather than our usual game recap, we've decided to skip the commentary and offer up some rather insightful quotes from our fearless leader.  Although we benignly neglected to read much of the news after yet another dispiriting home loss, we'll leave you with these pearls of wisdom and witty bon mots from our present leader, Mr. Moyes:

"I can see why they were champions." -- September 1, 2013  Score: Liverpool 1 - MUFC 0

"But for a minute in Cardiff near the end you would have been saying Man United had a really good week." -- December 1, 2013  Score: Cardiff City 2 - Manchester United 2 

"I don't think I'll feel under [buy in January] as I'll try to do the right things.  I tend to take my time and try to assess what are the best talents to bring in." -- December 9, 2013

Moyes insisted United had “deserved to win” -- January 2, 2014 Score: Spurs 2 - MUFC 1

I think the amount of games we play...[has an impact on the injuries we've sufered] -- January 5, 2014.
We didn't deserve to lose." -- January 5, 2014 Score: Swansea City 2 - MUFC 1

Obviously, the guy is either living in an alternate universe or completely clueless as to what is going on at the club.  Rather than bash him, however, we'll let you judge him by his own words -- and so onto the individual player ratings:

Lindegaard: Not much to do other than pick the ball out of the net twice. 5.0

Smalling: Note to Mr. Moyes: Chris Smalling is not a proper right back, no matter how often you line him up there. He also showed some surprising vulnerability to the diving disease which is currently ravaging the club. 4.5

Evans: Generally, more willing to run forward than 90% of the men playing in front of him. 5.0

Ferdinand (c): Sucked in like a vacuum on Swansea's opener. 4.0

B├╝ttner: A new set piece and corner kick taker, with some dangerous offerings. A sweet ball in for Chicharito's leveler -- perhaps Moyes should give him a shot at left wing, because it's fairly clear he's not a defender, although he did have a great, late challenge on Bony. 5.5

Valencia: If he was paid £1 for every time he received the ball in a dangerous position and mishit the cross he would be among the wealthiest players in England. In another interesting stat, if he received £1 for each time he touched the ball with his left foot, he would be among the poorest players in England. 4.0

Fletcher: Immediately took charge in the middle, but beaten badly as a right back. 5.0

Cleverley: When not passing the ball sideways and backward, he gave away multiple fouls in dangerous positions. Free kicks are apparently not his specialty, either. 3.5

Kagawa: Must be a fan of author Ralph Ellison, as his game resembles The Invisible Man™.  Appears to be playing in a different time zone than his teammates. 3.0

Welbeck: Played deeper than usual and was much too slow and overly intricate near the box. 4.0

Hernandez: Speed to burn up top but a swing and a miss when it first counted. Made up for it almost immediately with a tap in on Buttner's picture-perfect ball. 4.5


Januzaj (Valencia), 63: How did the Champions' season come to rely on the introduction of a shockingly skinny-shouldered 18 year old? 4.5

Fabio (Ferdinand), 76: Red within four minutes.  How's that for his long-awaited return? 2.0

This is farlieonfootie for January 6.

No comments:

Post a Comment