Practice Makes Perfect

photo by KG Sand Soccer	via PhotoRee

farlieonfootie with an Assistant Coaches' corner in the absence of Coach Tom, borrowing a lesson learned time and again in the shadowy hush of the practice pitch:

Friday night I was coaching my daughter's team.  Running late per usual at the end of the work week, I arrived at the practice pitch somewhat distracted and not quite ready for the undertaking.  As if picking up on the cue, several of the girls chattered their way through our quick warm up drills, eager to gossip and catch up on the week's activities.

It was at that point that I remembered the first rule of coaching, and pulled myself back into the present to teach the girls an important lesson about sport: you play the same way that you practice.  If you turn in a tight performance in rehearsal, chances are you're going to play the same way; if you're lazy and indifferent ahead of the game, odds are you're going to regret your next performance.

Shambolic

photo by JoshMcConnell	via PhotoRee

Kenny Dalglish was spotted stifling a yawn as he exited Old Trafford this afternoon after being handed his FA Cup exit papers in the form of a 1-nil loss to Manchester United.  You can't really blame King Kenny, Liverpool's new/old manager, for feeling bored after witnessing the ineffective and uninspired display his team gave.  I was bored to tears watching them search for a way -- any way -- into a game in which they were never really in contention.

Notable mostly for Steven Gerrard's ugly two-footed challenge on Michael Carrick, and the subsequent red card which ended his day early,  the game this afternoon highlighted the vast chasm in talent that currently exists between the two sides.  Although Liverpool's squad sheet is theoretically filled with some "big" names (e.g., Torres, Kuyt, Rodriguez, Gerrard), the emphasis should be on the word "theoretical," as none of those names played as if they are worthy of the title.  Fernando Torres looked disinterested and distracted -- probably dreaming of bigger and better places to play next season; Kuyt looked ineffective; Maxi clownish while rolling on the ground in mock agony after trying to coax a card from Referee Webb's pocket; and Gerrard -- well, shambolic is the most polite word I can think of.

Making the Grade

  An Unauthorized Look at Chelsea's Report Card for the Holiday Season  
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Way back on Boxing Day – it seems a long time ago now, doesn’t it? -- we ran a segment asking questions of the teams at the top of the EPL heading into the holiday season.  With the football orgy now over and done, let’s take a look at how each team did over the busy period in which the race for the title has begun to clarify a bit.  Below are the questions we posed at the time, along with the results for the period.  As it’s back-to-school time for most students, we’ve also decided to include a grade for each team’s holiday performance:

Can Arsenal Challenge for the Crown?  The Gunners bested cross-town rivals Chelsea, and won a remarkably easy victory at St. Andrews over a typically tough-at-home Birmingham side.  Although Arsenal sputtered to a dour nil-nil draw at the Emirates with City, it was the Gunners perplexing draw at Wigan – and the weakened side that Wenger picked for the game – that should be the real focus.

Pre-Holiday Minimum Point Haul Necessary: 9; Points Achieved: 8.

Grade: B.

Can Chelsea Steady Their Wobble? The post-holiday Blues are in free fall, with only a fortunate, referee-aided victory over Bolton, and a shocking draw against Villa (a side that all other rivals beat over the holidays) to show for their troubles.  The loss to Arsenal can perhaps be explained, but what is one to make of their most recent loss at Molineux?  Chelsea look uninspired and clueless right now.

Pre-Holiday Minimal Points Needed to Assuage the Doubters: 9; Points Achieved: 4

Grade: F.

Ramblin' Man

photo by AmberStrocel	via PhotoRee

farlieonfootie's corporate bad boy Ed is back, and isn't going gentle into that good night:


BLACKPOOL GAMBLES AWAY THE POINT

Blackpool’s loss to Birmingham City on Tuesday hurts, especially due to the fact that Birmingham scored in the last minutes of the game after enduring a barrage of shots and play in their end including a stellar run and shot off the post by Charlie Adam.  That said, it could have been far worse, as the number of chances Birmingham had inside the six yard box of Blackpool was outright frightening. 

Birmingham attacked the advancing outside backs of Blackpool on every counter by pushing the ball up the flanks with their fastest player, striker Cameron Jerome.  Tactically, this was an appropriate response to Ian Holloway’s aggressive style of pushing his outside backs forward and wide, because while both Eardley and Crainey are creative in their passes, neither – especially Earley – have EPL speed. 

The only flaw in Birmingham’s strategy was Jerome.  While he was able to burst past Eardley at will, he was completely incompetent in front of the goal.  Birmingham’s inability to score goals this year is now clear to me.  It appears that Jerome’s problem is in his head;  regardless, he won’t be playing up top for long after efforts like that.

Gutless

 This Roadkill Has More Guts than Manchester City  
photo by yuhui	via PhotoRee

Wednesday's EPL results were a serious boon to Manchester United's title chances, as every major pretender to the throne dropped points.  Both teams in Blue -- Chelsea and Manchester City -- suffered yet another setback in their efforts to pin back United, and Sir Alex and the boys had to enjoy watching the spectacle, which was the equivalent of a slow-motion car wreck.  Perhaps best from United's point of view was the listless draw played out at the Emirates between City and Arsenal, in which Roberto Mancini and his boys seemed most inspired by the "adventurous" cantennacio play that typifies the Seria A. 

I have another word for it, though: Gutless. That's the word that best sums up City's approach to the English title race. With a chance to go in and lay down a marker, City instead displayed -- yet again -- a genuine fear of winning and a played with a negative, gutless approach, showing no real intention of even trying to score, and grinding out a nil-nil draw at the Emirates.



Steve McManaman on ESPN had it about right during the game, putting it in a more politic way: Roberto Mancini and the boys in Sky Blue lack ambition. Sure, they're competitive, but they ought to be. Their salaries exceed the team's revenue, which is considerable. But if they want to try and be Champions any time soon, please do so with just an ounce of ambition. Don't go in playing for the nil-nil draw. This is not the Serie A, Roberto.



Again Again

photo by Josep Ma. Rosell	via PhotoRee

January 4 / Old Trafford / Manchester, England

The EPL's worst unbeaten team was back in action again Tuesday night, extending their streak with an uneasy 2-1 victory over a determined Stoke City side. I speak in jest, of course, as I'm growing tired of the chorus of United haters who refuse to recognize the remarkably resilient nature of this year's Red Devil squad. This year's United almost never make things easy, but they always do enough to get a result, and have shown throughout a gritty fighting quality to overcome whatever obstacles may come their way.



The height and physicality of Stoke's team -- back to front -- have caused multiple problems for other teams in the League this year, but not so United. I thought Chris Smalling showed a maturity beyond his years tonight, exhibiting a calming and controlled presence throughout the game. The more I see him, the more readily I begin to accept the comparisons to the man whose boots he was ably filling, Rio Ferdinand. The Smalling I saw this evening was a far more composed version than the raw product I saw in the pre-season and some earlier League Cup games.



Another standout for me on the defensive side of the ball was Rafael.

Letter from a Football Nut

 Columnist Ed, on One of His Better Days 
photo by Sister72	via PhotoRee

Columnist Ed is back, this time with a letter he claims to have burgled from the office of the EPL Chairman:

LETTER FROM A DISTURBED FAN

Sir David Richards

Chairman, English Premier League

Dear Sir Richards:

I am writing because I am interested in a position in your league.  I am not interested in a position in management, or as a coach, or as an assistant coach.  I am especially disinterested in anything to do with taking care of the pitch – I don’t even like to mow my own lawn!  Instead, I am interested in playing soccer for one of your teams in front of thousands of adoring fans.  From what I can tell, this seems like a fun way to make a living, and I understand the pay is quite generous. 

I have a few conditions, however, that you need to know about.  First, I don’t like to run.  At all.  One time I was being chased by a hoard of hungry, wild dogs that were frothing at the mouth and the best I could muster was a light jog.  But hey, does anyone really like to run?  I mean, I’ve seen that guy Drogba play and I can GUARANTEE you that he doesn’t like to run.  I’ve also heard no one on Liverpool likes to run.  Is that true?  Is running a requirement of being a player?  Would Liverpool be a good fit?  How about Fulham? 

Second, I’m extremely ticklish.  Even the sight of something ticklish makes me laugh.  Once I nearly fell out of my chair when I saw someone scratch their own armpit!  I also laugh whenever I read or see the name “Pienaar.”  Sometimes I just like to say it to have a giggle.  Pienaar.  Hah!!  (See?)  So I don’t think I can play on a team with anyone that has a funny name.  I heard that there’s a guy on Manchester City named “Ya Ya”, so if that’s true – which I doubt – I definitely can’t play for them.  I also heard there used to be a guy in your league named Jan Vennegoor of Hesselink.  I can barely stand up when I hear that.  If he and Pienaar (Hah!) and Ya Ya were all on my team I’d probably pee my pants.  Could you imagine Ya Ya passing to Pienaar (hah!) passing to Jan Vennegor of Hessilink passing to me – and I’m just standing there on the pitch peeing my pants and laughing?

The Second Half

photo by dalli58	via PhotoRee

Chelsea's 3-3 draw with Villa at the Bridge on Sunday showcased everything we love about this game called football.  Sure, the first half was a bit stop-and-startish, marred by referee Lee Mason's total loss of control of the game, but oh, the second half....

The second half was what makes it all worthwhile, as Villa surged to a stunning 2 -1 lead right after the interval that they then proceeded to defend with all their heart.  The second half was when Chelsea looked to have just done enough to keep their title hopes alive by scoring two goals in the final seven minutes of the match and celebrated as if they had indeed won the Premiership.  And the second half was when Villa scored a shocking third goal to tie the game in stoppage time, only a minute or two after Chelsea's massive pileup to celebrate what they must have surely thought was John Terry's game winner.  Yes, the second half was one of those 45 minutes of football that are sure to stay with you for awhile, long after the season fades into oblivion -- it was that good.

Sleepwalking Into the New Year

 This Guy Looks More Awake Than Several United Players Did on Saturday 
photo by istolethetv	via PhotoRee

So, that was an easy three points, as Manchester United leave the Hawthornes with West Brom done and dusted, clutching their 2-1 victory as tightly as a hobo hanging onto a ham sandwich. What looked on paper to be a tough road trip turned out to be that and more, despite United taking the lead just two minutes after the opening whistle. Nevertheless, a win is still a win, especially when it comes from a game not played at Old Trafford this season.

The match opened with a bang for the Red Devils, with Wayne Rooney ending a shocking nine month drought to finally score from open play. Picked out by Patrice Evra's long arching cross, Rooney gently nodded the ball down, and willed it with all his might to finish its journey resting in the netting behind West Brom 'keeper Scott Carson. With their one-time talisman off the mark so quickly, it looked to be only a matter of time before United extended the lead and secured a precious away win. But a funny thing happened on the way to the three points: United were decidedly second best for large portions of the match, fortunate to end the game with 11 men on the pitch, and were a Peter Odemwingie penalty miss away from dropping more points on the road.

Keeping It in the Family

 Bobby Moore Statue, Boleyn Ground, Upton Park 
photo by gavindjharper	via PhotoRee

farlieonfootie is very pleased to introduce its newest columnist, Ian, a long-suffering fan of West Ham United based in Houston, Texas.  I know, I know -- it didn't make sense to me, either, but I have a better appreciation for Ian's plight (and some sympathy for his situation) after reading his knowledgeable and passionate piece.  The whole thing's almost enough to turn me into a West Ham fan -- but let's not get carried away.  Without further ado, here's Ian:

 

As this is my first column/blog, I had better introduce myself – I am an Essex boy living in Texas and I am an avid West Ham fan. By way of that introduction/confession, I almost feel like I’m attending an alcoholics anonymous meeting but … I am not ashamed at being a West Ham fan or an Essex boy. OK, maybe I’m a little bit ashamed of the Essex part but I am proud to hold my head high as a West Ham fan. I was born into a West Ham family – I really had no choice in my team but I’m glad that I ended up following the boys in claret and blue. I warn you now that I tend to go on a bit when I start writing so be prepared for a lengthy piece of script.

I started off at 5 years old watching the reserves in action. I think my dad felt that if the professionals had to work their way through the reserves before getting to the first team, then it was only right that his son do the same. Either that or he was giving some thought to the fact that it was the early 1980s and hooliganism was still rampant and not a great thing for a 5 year old boy to be around. Soon enough though, I was promoted to the first team and never looked back from there. I was gripped. I knew so many (irrelevant) statistics about the players at that age that my brother and older cousins used to joke with me and asked if I knew the players’ shoe sizes. Wow – how I wished that I did! My parents recently gave me some of my school work that they had kept from when I was a young ‘un. Almost every “news” story that I wrote was about West Ham. I lived for the weekends when I would get another chance to hero worship Billy Bonds, Trevor Brooking, Alvin Martin, Alan Devonshire, Ray Stewart, Phil Parkes, Frank Lampard (the original and best one, not the younger, fatter, bigger-headed one), et al.

Now I find myself with a difficult task. I am a father now too -my boy just turned six months old and I feel that I will fail as a West Ham fan if he does not grow up to be a West Ham fan too.  My brother (who lives in Florida) has a son too (a 12 year old) and he is a West Ham fan … kind of. He has the shirt and if you were to ask him who he supports, he’d tell you that he’s a Hammers fan but I see him as a pseudo West Ham fan. Living in Texas I don’t get to see him often but I’m pretty sure that he does not get up every Saturday morning with his heart pounding and race towards the TV to watch the game. If we lose, does he get upset and slump into a bad mood for the rest of the day? I doubt it. What I’m suggesting is that he doesn’t live and breathe West Ham. I want my son to feel the same way about the Irons as I do. I want him to be passionate about many things in life but especially passionate about the Hammers. I don’t want him to be upset about a West Ham defeat or happy about a win purely because I am – I want him to have his own strong emotions about the outcome of the game. I want him to be as angry as I am when someone tells me “cheer up – it’s only a game”. It’s more than a game to me – it sets my mood for the week until the next game. For anyone reading this in the UK, you don’t understand how difficult it will be for me to bring my son up with the same obsession for West Ham. Here are the challenges that I face: