Transformers

photo by Christina Welsh (Rin)	via PhotoRee

Tuesday, May 4, 2011 / Camp Nou / Barcelona, SPAIN

It was a dark and stormy night....

And then there was the matter of a certain football match in Catalonia Tuesday night, although the game was far from a classic. Sure, there was less flopping, diving and whinging than six days ago, but this game was more pure drudgery than jogo bonito. Nevertheless, herewith some observations about a few of the many transformations which occurred during the fourth and final clasico, a result which sent Barcelona to the Champions league final at Wembley to face Manchester United:

• The game's announcer transformed Carles Puyol linto a "beast of a man."  Only in La Liga could that description be apt. Nemanja Vidic is a beast of a man. Vincent Kompany is a beast of a man. Christopher Samba is a beast of a man. Hell, even Brede Hangeland is a beast of a man.  But Carles Puyol is a bad haircut. He may be a decent defender, but his haircut alone is enough to make me totally discount him as both a player and a person.

  One Bad Haircut  
photo by Gerard Reyes	via PhotoRee

• Jose Mourinho transformed from Special One to Absent One.  Apparently he had other things to attend to. You think there's any coincidence that Osama Bin Laden was killed earlier this week?  Some things are more important than football.

• Emanuel Adenayor transformed from a semi-decent attacker in his Gooner days, to semi-decent goon in his Real Madrid days.  What is he thinking?

• Kaka demonstrated his transformation from stunningly good to shockingly bad is now complete.  Where did his game go?  The guy went from world player of the year to afterthought in less than 36 months. The best measure of his impotence came in Real Madrid's performance, which picked up sharply after the Brazilian was pulled in favor of Mesut Ozil.

• Lassana Diara showed of his feminine side.  Someone needs to sit the Frenchman down and tell him his nickname -- "Lass" -- is a synonym for young woman in English. It's not exactly scaring anyone off the pitch.

• Cristiano Ronaldo transformed from Champion to defeated semi-finalist.  Apparently someone forgot to tell the Portuguese superstar that very few people -- especially superstars -- see their careers improve after they leave Old Trafford.

• And Javier Mascherano is still a disgrace.  That didn't change at all.

This is farlieonfootie for May 6.