Not Much to Say, and Oh So Much Time In Which to To Do It

Photo by Dylan Hardesty

Some none-too-important ramblings from your daily correspondent:

 

o Boy, it sure is lonely in here at the head office with the entire staff out on international break.  There've been no quick missives and a general overall lack of sonnets in iambic pentameter praising Luis Suarez from Correspondent Scott, no creepy sexual innuendos or tasteless, off-color jokes to deal with in Correspondent Ed's absence, and just a general lack of anything even resembling a presence from Correpsondent James -- who faithfully turned in expense reports as if he was on the Spurs' beat at White Hart Lane, but left it for the forensic accountants to discover he was instead covering high school crew regattas in Sarasota, Florida.  

 

o We'll all be back together tonight, though, one big happy family at the 10th Annual farlieonfootie Football Correspondents Dinner in Fort Lauderdale, Florida -- a ceremony draped in pomp and circumstance, but one generally reserved for some of the lesser lights of American football coverage.  The best way to describe the event is to say it's like the White House Correspondents Dinner minus the President.  And Conan O'Brien as the emcee.  And the B-list celebrities and other assorted famous people.  Also, no jokes are told.  None.  As in, not one.  All in all, actually, it's a fairly somber, staid affair, at which the merits of the minor league Moldivan football are heatedly debated, and the food consists mainly of assorted types of canned beans and tomato aspic.

 

What the farlieonfootie Football Correspondents's Dinner is NOT Like

Cold, Wet and Slightly Dreary

photo by Jo Naylor	via PhotoRee

Our title refers, of course, to the weather in Belgium last night, but we could have equally been referring to the performance turned in by the US Mens National Team in their contest against the Belgians on Tuesday. Witnessed by only the sparsest of crowds due to the inclement weather sweeping across Western Europe, the Belgians defeated a sluggish and wet American squad 1-nil in a game largely devoid of excitement or action. With so many quality local beers to otherwise occupy their attention, who could argue when the vast majority of Belgians decided to stay at home and watch the match on television?

o That the US team was tired -- and showed it -- shouldn't really come as a surprise to anyone. Playing just four days after their last game and traveling nine time zones -- and ten and a half hours on a plane -- to play a friendly in Europe just points out how preposterous it is to have the USMNT based on the West Coast. Slotted at the Home Depot Center solely to placate Philip Anschutz, MLS' largest individual investor, the US team isn't headquartered near their CONCACAF rivals in the Carribean, nor anywhere remotely close to where some of our best players ply their trade -- in Europe. Having the team based on the East Coast of the US -- say, Florida, given it's proximity to the Carribean, Mexico, and year 'round weather -- would make a ton more sense, but when did common sense ever count for anything when money is at stake?

Spring Break

photo by Sandpiper Beacon Beach Resort	via PhotoRee

I've spent some time during the past several days contemplating the dreaded International Break (okay, not a lot of time, granted, but enough to figure out a solution to an issue that's been vexing me in a matter of minutes).  Although it's obviously come at an opportune time for Manchester United -- allowing the players to heal from the various knocks and niggles which have piled up over the course of the season -- I'm not sure I understand FIFA's scheduling logic that led to the break in the first place.

Surely, there has to be a more sensible way to work out the world football calendar than the manner in which it's currently calculated.  Just as I begin to get really excited about the EPL run-in, and the eight (or nine) games left on my team's schedule, here comes FIFA and UEFA to tell me to hold it, just calm down and wait a week or two, because we've got important friendlies and Euro qualifiers to play .  I know I'm dying to see England square off against Wales, and the USA take on Paraguay, but that could be just me.  The dates of those matches have been etched into my mind since...well, since never, actually.  In truth, I'm not sure I'll even watch either game (unless I need a column idea).

So let me make a proposal here.  Feel free to accept it FIFA, and I won't demand monetary compensation for the idea -- just free tickets for the next World Cup and the naming of the new break as the "FIFA International Break, presented by farlieonfootie."  Let's bunch all of the international matches together, and play them over the course of a month, or even six weeks.  They could be held over a "winter break," during January, for example, or even at the end of the league season (which would now end in April, of course, rather than mid-May).  There.  Was that so hard?  Here's my logic, as well as a quick look at some of the benfits which occur to all parties: