All Tricked Out & Other Notes on Week 10 in the EPL

photo by Don Hankins	via PhotoRee

o Both Chelsea's and Arsenal's defense in the London derby on Saturday were flat out embarassing.  I can't remember a game between two "top" teams in which so many chances were created in the first 15 minutes. The German national coach, Jogi Low, was watching from the stands, and must have spent some serious time squinting his eyes while trying to recognize defender Per Mertesacker, who looks a shadow of his former self.

o Arsenal's third goal of the afternoon was one of the strangest I've seen all season, if only for the utter lack of defensive composure and desire shown by the Chelsea back line.  Theo Walcott was bundled over by about five Chelsea defenders, yet still managed to pick himself up before any one of the men in Blue reacted in the slightest, dust himself off, and then proceed to beat Petr Cech on the near post; a true comedy of errors. The Special One must have been smirking while watching from Madrid.

o The fifth goal of the day for Arsenal -- let me repeat that -- the fifth goal of the day for Arsenal at Stamford Bridge was perhaps the most special of all.  I could watch John Kerry slip and fall all day long, as it always brings back special memories of Moscow 2008....  (We won't dwell on the irony of  Terry's slip occurring on Edwin Van Der Sar's 41st birthday Saturday).  Terry's fall -- to say nothing of Florent Malouda's horrendous back pass, which was so atrocious that whoever investigates betting in football might want to take a look at Malouda's bank account -- allowed Robin Van Persie to quickly take the free ball, with not a single Chelsea defender anywhere in eyesight, round Cech, and give Arsenal an unassailable 5-3 lead and all three points on the day. Who'd a thunk it?

Split Weekend

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The staff at farlieonfootie really like these split EPL weekends: this one, for example, featured five games on Saturday and four on Sunday -- including the big one showcasing two teams from Manchester. What could be better? 

I understand the Sunday games are partly the by-product of European mid-week contests (forcing Tottenham to play way too many Sundays this season), but I also just like spacing out all the contests over two days, allowing one to soak all the football in and savor each game, rather than be forced to drink through a firehose and switch between one of five or more BPL 3pm kickoffs (10am EST), while knowing the outcome of the other matches before you have had an opportunity to see any of them unfold.  I like balance in the schedule, just like balance in our lives: it just makes everything work better.

Plus the European contests make it like having your cake (Saturday and Sunday football) and eating it, too (Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday football).  A game almost every day of the week.  Again, I ask you: what could possibly be better?

o After witnessing the sad but laughable beavhiors committed by Wolves' fans this weekend after they fell behind Swansea City 2-nil before the halftime break, farlieonfootie has several suggested mottos for the team's marketing department to trot out to the various Wolves' booster clubs before their next home outing against Wigan in two weeks' time:

Wolves' Tiny Tots Club : Molineux: Where even the small children are encouraged to swear at you and call for your head. 

The 1st Annual Pre-Season Picks

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So, it's time for the first annual farlieonfootie pre-season picks; that's why I've titled this blog accordingly. No pre-season preparation is finished until you've digested the many nuggets of wisdom I'm about to impart, so buckle up, strap in, and get ready for farlieonfootie's semi-famous and sometimes accurate picks.

You know, the ones in which we fully display all our biases and ignorance, and the ones in which our detractors (mainly Columnist Ed's family and friends) will use against us on the off chance they don't come true. Without any further ado, here's our top four teams for next season:

1. Manchester United. Yes, Manchester is Red, and the 2011/12 season will see United win the League for a record 20th time, and put some further domestic space between themselves and Liverpool. Goalkeeping remains the major wildcard, but we think newboy De Gea is more than up to the task, and expect Anders Lindegaard to offer a steady and efficient alternative. The addition of Ashley Young and Phil Jones will make up for the departure of Wes Brown and John O'Shea, and the squad has just been freshened enough to keep on keepin' on. Things to watch: will United sign Wesley Sniejder -- that move will be all about Europe -- and how will the brutal start to United's campaign play out?

Too Close for Comfort

Gonna be brief today, just time for a couple quick observations from Sunderland's poor home loss to Liverpool on Sunday.  In case you feel like complaining, talk to the hand, and take a look at the beer review I also put out today.


Anyone else wonder what Andy Carroll was doing to Martin Skrtel when he put his hands on the defender's hips for a corner kick in the Sunderland 18 yard box (see picture below)?  It looked like either the pair were rehearsing the police frisk that typically ends Carroll's Saturday nights out, or were reliving their activities at a "boy's weekend" that went horribly awry.  Either way, I'm not sure I want to know the intimate details of the duo's corner kick "training regime."

Add Kevin Friend to the growing list of EPL referees who can't do their job properly.  For the second year in a row, the Sunderland - Liverpool match had a controversial goal as Friend incorrectly pointed to the spot after consulting with his assistant referee.  After initially indicating -- correctly, in my opinion -- a free kick outside the box, Friend appeared to have his mind changed by his linesman.  If I were a visitor from outer space this season, my understanding of the assistant referee's main responsibilities would be that it's his crucial -- and often only -- duty to get offside and penalty calls wrong.  Full stop.


This is farlieonfootie for March 22.

£650 Million Worth of Nothing Much

photo by a.drian	via PhotoRee

So, Roman Abramovich and Sheikh Mansour spent a combined £650 million on the two teams that met Sunday at the Bridge. Value for the money?  I'll let you decide. Chelsea's 2-nil victory was hardly the convinving home effort I expected to see. And City?  I'm not sure the word offense is even in Roberto Mancini's vocabulary.

The dapper Italian got what he deserved yesterday when David Luiz scored a late winner before Ramires confirmed the victory in stoppage time. Once again Scarved-One  played for a nil-nil draw on the road -- something we've seen way too many times this season -- and this time he paid the price. Mancini kept the ineffective Milner and Toure on far too long, and waited until it was much too late to bring on Adam Johnson and add some attacking flair to his flaccid offense.

A few other observations on the game, while they're still hot out of the oven:

• It's O'fer eight for Fernando's Chelsea career. Looked a bit more lively yesterday, but really?  Is that what £50 million buys these days?

Farlie on Footie, Column The Beginning

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At the urging of my friend Ed, I have decided to devote some of the little free time I have in my daily activities to blogging about the world's favorite game (and I don't mean the NFL).  Soccer, or more to the point, football.  Primarily EPL, but with a smattering of witty (some may even say snarky) observations about La Liga, the Serie A, UEFA Champions League, FIFA World Cup, Euro Qualifying and more thrown in for fun (who know, maybe even the Bundesliga?!)  So from this (very) humble beginning, we'll embark on a journey into the unknown (probably a trip to nowhere, but you never know).  I finally feel as if I have joined the digital revolution in full.

For my first column, I'll focus on my beloved Red Devils of Manchester, England.  If this blog lasts more than a day or two, my bias toward all things United will become readily apparent.  Suffice it to say in short that I came down with a case of Red Devil fever about a decade ago, and my condition has steadily deteriorated from there.

We'll begin farlie on footie with a celebration of the many talents of Dimitar Berbatov.  To me, Berba's talent seemed readily apparent whenever I laid eyes on him, but to many of the Manchester United faithful he was derided and dismissed as lazy and indifferent (in fact, come to think of it, indifferent was probably one of the nicer things said about his approach to the game).  I read this morning that never has a star player had the syllables in his name replaced with the word "flop" so many times as the cunning Bulgarian (Flopitar Flopitov, anyone? Dimiflop Berbaflop?).  But not for me.  I went out of my way last year on many occasion to praise Berba's silky smooth style of playing.  I mean, c'mon -- let's examine the facts: the guy's first touch is unparalleled in the EPL,  his vision is second to none (ok, maybe Paul Scholes!), and he can do things technically with a soccer ball that other players only dream about.... 

But not only did Berba fall out of favor with many of United's fans last year, but in my opinion he did so with Sir Alex, as well.  Look it up: any big game (non-Bolton, Wigan or Burnley) lineup that Sir Alex opted to play had only the lone striker up top, which position was invariably occupied by a certain Wayne Rooney. I can maybe understand the strategy in Champions League, with a more conservative approach ensuring a team will not get run over on its various European travels, but in the domestic competition, in which United had only Chelsea to be truly concerned with, I just flat out didn't get it.  How could Berba, with his guile and magical touch, be sitting on the bench for big game after big game....?  In fact, I didn't get it so much that I repeatedly started him in my fantasy football league only to be miserably disappointed in seeing him stare placidly ahead from the bench as he sat out yet another game.

In truth, after being repeatedly left out of the lineup, his confidence suffered, and when he had to lead the line (I'm thinking back painfully to the game against Blackburn toward season's end) he didn't produce much.

But oh what a difference a year -- and some confidence -- makes.  The goals scored by Berbatov on Sunday were stupendous -- the 2nd one almost ridiculous in its audacity (the Audacity of Goals, perhaps?).  Singlehandly willing United to win against the team's biggest (historical) rival?  Who would've thunk it?  I certainly didn't -- and thus didn't get his many points for my Fantasy team, but that's a column for another day.

Enuf said for the start; in the words of Arnold, "I'll be back."  And that's farlie on footie for September 21, 2010.