Dreamland

photo by blahidontreallycare	via PhotoRee

ACT I

SCENE ONE

(A thatch-roofed bar that’s seen its best days years ago, located well off the beaten path, deep in the heart of the Florida Keys. A stranger wearing a dark sunglasses, jeans, no shoes, and a red jersey, newish looking, with the number 9 on the back, and the word "Berbatov" emblazoned on the top is sitting by himself at the bar, staring intently at the old television hanging from one of the cabana posts. A series of large green palms rustle in the background, being blown by a forceful wind out of the northwest, as storm clouds begin to gather on the horizon.)

FARLIEONFOOTIE

How 'bout a beer, Nick?

NICK THE BARTENDER

     (Glances up from drying some glasses)

Whaddya want?

FARLIEONFOOTIE

You tried the St. Martin Brown yet?  I had it at a Beer Festival this past weekend, up in South Carolina.  Went with some friends, and tasted a bunch of beers.  That was one of the best.

NICK

You have fun?

        

FARLIEONFOOTIE

Yeah.  Anything not sound fun about the words "beer" and " festival"?            
                              (Pauses)
Give me a St. Martin. And turn up the volume.  United's on.

(fade out)

SCENE TWO

(A festive Bloomfield Road.  A small but frenzied crowd cheers on the home team, lustily chanting, clapping, stomping their feet, and showering United with prolonged boos and cat calls.)

FAN #1

Cathcart and Campbell.......?!  Can you bloody believe it?

FAN #2

's unbelievable.  Two set pieces, two goals. 

FAN #1

Yeah, but it's all about Charlie, isn't it?  Guy's a fu**in' genius.

FAN #2

God, I hope he doesn't leave.  But the price just went up if he does.

FAN #1

                       That'll show the bloody scousers.  Serves 'em right.

SCENE THREE

(Back at the bar.  A second individual, Ed, known to farlieonfootie, enters the bar and signals to the bartender for a beer.)

ED

                       Hey.  How did I know I'd find you here?

FARLIEONFOOTIE

(Begrudgingly nods, feigning disinterest.)

ED

You look upset.  What's the score?

(Innocent expression)

FARLIEONFOOTIE

Shut up.  You know damn well what the score is.

(Shoots a middle finger in Ed's general direction)

ED

2-nothing, Blackpool?  Probably should've been 3-nothing....  And I thought your boys were invincible this year!

(Chuckles to himself)

SCENE FOUR

(Tunnel underneath stadium)

SIR ALEX FERGUSON

(Striding purposely toward the pitch, talking to his team on their way back out.)
Let's go.  Get out there now.  There's work to be done.

(Blackpool fans jeer loudly, as United are back on pitch five minutes before the restart.  Ryan Giggs is taunted as he replaces Darren Gibson in the United side.)

(fade out)

ACT II

SCENE ONE

(The Bar)

FARLIEONFOOTIE

Hey, Nick.  Get me another St. Martin.

(Gestures to Ed, points to televison)

God, they're good.  I knew they'd pull it out.

(Bangs bar emphatically with his hand.  At that moment, United score their third goal of the half.  Dimitar Berbatov completes a total shredding of the Blackpool defense, beating Richard Kingson once more before a stunned home crowd, and making it look easy.  Farlieonfootie screams with delight, high fiving Nick the Bartender.  The small but rabid United fans at the game can now be clearly heard through the television, and as the the announcers scream “Can you believe it?,” farlieonfootie realizes he can breathe for the first time in nearly 90 minutes.  He looks overjoyed. )

ED

God, no.  This is just painful.  Nick -- any salt back there for farlieonfootie to rub in my wounds?

(Shakes his head.)

FARLIEONFOOTIE

Told ya if they scored once they'd win it....

(Screams loudly once more, just because it feels so good.  He's on an emotional high.)

SCENE TWO

(Bloomfield Road)

(Small but passionate away crowd, now wildly rejoicing, standing and singing as one:

“We Shall Not, We Shall Not Be Moved,

We Shall Not, We Shall Not Be Moved,

Just Like the Team, That's Gonna Win the Football League -- Again!

We Shall Not, We Shall Not Be Moved.”) 

(fade out)

SCENE THREE

(the bar)

ED

I have to admit, they're the best team in the Premier League. But they're not great.

 

FARLIEONFOOTIE

Count them out at your own peril, my friend.  These guys are so friggin' good, they just never give up. 

ED


They'll win the league.  But you don't think they'll go undefeated, do you?

FARLIEONFOOTIE

I got my eyes on the prize, Ed.  We're five points clear at the top, and looking for title number 19.

(fade out)

 SCENE FOUR

(Press Conference Room)

SIR ALEX FERGUSON

(In response to a question)

I have to say, it's down to the history of the club.  We just never give in. 

(fade out)

SCENE FIVE

(the Bar)

FARLIEONFOOTIE

(Clearly still enjoying the moment, and trying to signal Nick for another beer.)

Took the wind right out of Arsenal's sails.  And I hope that fu**er John Terry was watching, too….

(Gestures toward Nick, raising voice).

Hey Nick, buy Ed a beer.  On me.  He could use one. 

(Turns toward Ed)

That was a great game, Ed.  Full credit to Blackpool, too.  I like those guys.  Cheers!
                        (Raises glass, downs beer)

(FADE TO BLACK)

This is farlieonfootie reporting for January 26.