Monday, August 3, 2015

Voldemourinho Suffers Irony Poisoning: Arsenal 1 - Chelsea 0

photo by jonathan mcintoshvia PhotoRee



Scott kicks off the season with excessive use of ironic metaphors:
 

"Arsenal defended with 10 players, they put everybody in front of their own line and they had good organization - congratulations to them."  Cough, cough

"They had a couple of chances in counterattacks, but we had ours in organized football." 


Jose Mourinho, nay Voldemourinho, that provocateur of the Dark Arts, went on to slightly dig himself out of the ironic hole that threatened to implausibly smother his preternatural ego.  But scoff as he may at the meaninglessness of the Community Shield, even as he flicked his loser's medal to a surprised fan, have no doubt that the Dark Lord will now redouble his manufacture of belittling comments as he is haunted by his hypocrisy and scalded by hot irony.  Or perhaps he will simply seethe in egomaniacal solitude along the River Thames stirring a cauldron of eyes such as: "I don't want the medal.  I don't keep the ones when I win, imagine the ones when I lose."