Sunday, August 4, 2013

Confessions of a Rum-Fueled Football Addict

While sipping a Dark 'N Stormy (Goslings Rum, ginger beer, ice and a lime) in Bermuda on a recent pre-season farlieonfootie staff trip, we had the opportunity to reflect on the craziness that is the world football transfer market:

o Wayne Rooney's gone. He's handed in his transfer request and wants off to Chelsea. Or he hasn't, and has re-committed himself to David Moyes' United, provided he's not booed when the Reds play in front of some actual fans later this week. Both stories equally plausible, and more to the point, both stories published in the British press. ON THE SAME DAY. Which just goes to show you: most of the news you read is not fit to print. 

o Cesc is coming to United. Or maybe he's not. Actually, in the end, we think Moyes will get his man. Where there's smoke there's fire, and Cesc and his agent are looking like Smokey Bear these days. We think the Spaniard wouldn't mind a move back to a team where he's "the man," and reuniting with Robin Van Persie wouldn't be all that bad, either. One question if the move goes through keeps us up at night, though: what song will United fans sing when Anderson comes on the pitch?!

o And speaking of Ando, we have only one thing to say: THIS is the year that he decides to lose weight?  Fear is a great motivator...

o Could Criatiano be coming home?  It certainly sounds plausible to us. Real Madrid going gaga over Gareth obviously means the Spanish side are feeling some sort of pressure. And Moyes' openness on the whole Fabregas story has always struck us as odd. Maybe the new man is happy to let the press fixate on the one move so that he and Ed Woodward can get the other move done with a little less light shining on it.....  Even if the move fails to materialize, we expect to see Ronnie back in red before he hangs up his cleats for good. It's one thing to be feared; it's a whole different kettle of fish to be loved. 

o Gareth Bale for £100 million?  In a world in which Andy Carroll is worth £50 million, certainly. Come to think of it, on that valuation scale, Gervinho might even be worth the £6.9 million that Arsenal received for his transfer. 

o Luis Suarez to that same Goon Squad? We hope not. The Professor is cutting an increasingly desperate figure these days, and the move for Hannibal Lector's favorite player would cinch the deal in our opinion. Although we have no problem with seeing Liverpool relegated to long-term mediocrity -- finishing in the top 10 is the new Gold Medal standard -- instead we prefer the scenario that unfolded this past weekend: scouse fans making fools of themselves cheering lustily for a man who no longer wants to ply his trade in front of them. 

This is farlieonfootie for August 4. 

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