Monday, December 5, 2011

Karma's a Bitch: Week 14 in the EPL


The super-inept Mike Dean assured himself a place in the headlines once again, incorrectly -- unbelievably, incredibly, inexplicably -- handing out a yellow card when the accident-waiting-to-happen named David Luiz mauled Demba Ba as the last man on a clear goal scoring opportunity on Saturday at [insert new name here] Park. Not finished yet, only a couple minutes later Dean awarded Chelsea a kick from the spot when Danny Sturridge dove theatrically over the outstretched leg of a Newcastle defender. Tim Krul saved Dean momentarily from a post-game lynch mob when he denied Fat Frank's low and slow effort to keep he match knotted at zero. In truth, Lampard looked as if he rushed his shot, most likely in an effort to gain a slight lead in the sprint to the post-game buffet table.

So here's the question: How often does Dean need to be the storyline before the FA take action?  I can't remember a referee who more consistently makes improper game-changing decisions.

o The formerly "solid" Newcastle defense is beginning to shows signs of cracking. Toon gave up a ton of chances to United last week, and looked a complete shapeless shambles against Chelsea this weekend. If it wasn't for some good work in between the sticks by the aformentioned Krul, Sturridge would have had a hat trick before half time.

o The Magpies apparently used up their season allotment of god luck last week at Old Trafford. Giving up a disputed penalty, hitting the bar three or four times, plus being cleared off the line seems like a fair result to me -- Ain't karma a bitch, Newcastle fans?

o Roberto Martinez declared that his team had "turned the corner" after gaining four points in their last two League games against Blackburn and Sunderland. To which I ask: Turned the corner into a dead end?  Wigan's time in the Premier League is running out, my friend.

o So it turns out Manchester may, in fact, be Blue. I learned that from seeing the color of all the unoccupied seats at The Emptyhad Stadium for Norwich City's visit to the League leaders on Saturday.

o Based on how much time they spent in their own half of the pitch in Saturday, Norwich City must have been under the illusion they were part of the Occupy Manchester movement this week.  The Canaries parked the bus, pitched tents, and set up some cots and a bar as they afforded roughly 80% of the first half possession to the home side.

o How has Emil Heskey managed to make 500 appearances in the top flight?  Frankly, I'm surprised he's made 50.... Supposedly, he's excellent "off the ball."  I think he'd be even better "off the pitch."  Slow and plodding doesn't begin to describe his style....

o The Yak is Back. He may be built like Heskey, but he's scoring like RVP. Left foot, head (twice), and  right footer from the spot: Blackburn's Yakubu did it all on Saturday on the way to scoring four goals, and for that he's farlieonfootie's Player of the Week.

This is farlieonfootie for December 5.

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