Q. So, United lost an early goal to Spurs on Saturday? A. Yup. How'd you know? Has this been happening a lot lately? It's not down to the fact that the Reds look nervous as a whore in church when opposition players run at them, is it? Q. Any other nerve wracking moments in the first half? A. None more so than when William Gallas crunched RVP's ankle, leaving the United striker in a heap and the home fans' hearts in their mouths. Q. Did United land any retaliatory blows in the first half? A. Unfortunately, the most effective blow any United player landed this week was the punch Nani threw at reserve team member Davide Petrucci. Q. When did the RVP equalizer occur? A. Actually a Gareth Bale goal came next, to the surprise of just about no one watching the contest. United appeared to be going through the motions in the first half, as if they were trying to set up Spurs before surprising them with the introduction of a 2009-era Cristiano Ronaldo and a five goal second half. Q. What was wrong with the team's first half performance yesterday? A. Beside a complete and utter lack of passion, urgency and a stalwart defense, the only other thing noticeably lacking in the first 45 minutes was a midfield that could deliver a decent ball to the lone forward. Q. Any changes in the second half? A. Yeah the second half was different, all right. First off, Wayne Rooney was in and so was the ball -- in the Stretford End net after Luis Nani put it there. Unfortunately Clint Dempsey quickly did the same at the other end to restore Tottenham's two goal cushion. And then just to make things really interesting, Shinji Kagawa scored again for United -- and this all in the space of just three minutes.
Q. What stopped United from drawing level? A. Referee Chris Foy, who was singlehandedly determined to make up for the points he denied Spurs last season by looking the other way on a couple of clear cut penalties on Nani and Kagawa and a hand ball in the box by Sandro. That and the Stretford End post that Wazza's free kick bounced off in the 61st minute. Q. Anyone else come close to equalizing? A. RVP, Scholes, Carrick and Evra each tested the final score line, but all were found wanting in one way, shape or form. Q. So what's next? A. Some sort of Fergie-inspired shakeup is our guess, because this insipid sort of play cannot last much longer; two losses in the team's first six games is just not good enough. With Newcastle (A), Stoke (H), Chelsea (A) and Arsenal (H), things aren't going to get any easier any time soon. This is farlieonfootie for September 30.